Will I Be In A New Relationship Before My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Full Dreamland.
Dreamland: Hello, Council, Bob, and Cynthia. I appreciate all your guidance to me and others over several posts. I am in the middle of a separation from my husband. I have been told by a psychic that he will be in another relationship soon. I have also been told I will be in a relationship once I master being happy alone and learn my lessons around independence. I want to know if I will get married, or be in a new relationship, or if my husband will.
Council: Oh, is there a race here? Who’s going to do it first? Very interesting.
There’s more interest in finding out, not if you will get married again, and who will do it first, because no psychic can tell you. From moment to moment, your path can change. And a very good psychic may look and say, “Yes, I see you married. How wonderful.” And then the choices you make the next day can move the energy in another direction. So no one knows for sure what will happen.
We would say, if you want to see yourself married again, maybe you can be kinder to people. You can learn from what you went through in one relationship and make sure you don’t do it in another. It always comes from you looking at yourself – what you can do and how you can be on the path that you want to take. So that is the lesson. Look at yourself and don’t worry about what your husband is doing. It’s really none of your concern. His lessons will come to him when he is ready.
But if you would like to be married again without the thought of who’s going to do it first – thinking like that will definitely hold anything good coming forward because you are not looking at it correctly. As we said before, this is not a race. This is about your relationship. What have you learned from being in it? How have you changed? Are you working on yourself? Or are you wondering what he or his family is going to do?
Dreamland: I want to know what are my husband’s lessons with respect to my child and me.
Council: Well we won’t tattle, so we won’t tell you his lessons. But his lessons to you and to your child were to, when it was set up in your mind, your spirit, to come together in a loving fashion, to go through certain experiences, and find a kind, loving way to handle it. That’s what your lessons are. Everyone’s lesson is, when you come here, handle everything with the one answer, which is love, kindness, and compassion. So that’s why you are here. Have you learned it in your marriage? You would think that at one point it was there. Why did it change? What happened?
And this is not for you to look at him or his family and say, “They did this, they did that. He did this. He let them do that.” It was for a while this was going on. What is your part in it? How are you handling it? Are you honest, and sitting down and talking and saying, “You know this is going on. It’s uncomfortable. It hurts. And let’s see what we can do about it because we’re going down the wrong path.” It is that simple. The answer is always, “What am I doing? Am I kind? Am I understanding? Am I loving?” Though we hope, at this time, that you are doing that.
Dreamland: Will he ever realize the mistakes he made in our relationship and feel sorry for what he has done to us? Or will it be very easy for him to forget us and move on, and live his new life happily and without any regrets?
Council: You are not letting go of the thought of him realizing what he did was wrong, he’ll have regrets, he’ll miss you. Again, you are wasting time trying to figure that out. What you figure out is, how am I now as a person? Why do I have to know what his lesson is? That is none of your concern. We would never tell you another person’s lessons. Of course, he might be sorry, and then again, he may not.
But you’re taking your thoughts, your choices, and you’re putting them in the wrong direction. Work on yourself. Let go of what happened. Let go of getting even. Let go of wishing him not wellness, not a good situation, not being jealous if he gets married, and if he gets married first. Can you see that?
Dreamland: I find it disturbing that he and his family can keep on ruining innocent girls and his own child’s life, and not face any consequences. I’m trying to find peace in this situation. Thank you for helping.
Council: It’s not up to you to prepare to find out that he is having a hard time, or that he is having terrible consequences for disrupting other people. Again, we see you are concerned about will his family learn that? We would like to say, have you learned that? Have you learned that all of this has to do with you? It is your responsibility to change how you act if you find you are jealous, if you’re angry, if you’re wishing him and his family wrong. You are on the wrong path. And so when that begins to change, when you realize that, then you will find happiness.
And who knows, maybe tonight you’ll dream of us. And of course we have to add, you can see us every night, you can talk to us every night, you can dream of us, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to remember. But what we teach you, and what you need to know is within you, and when you need that information, you will remember.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Full Dreamland and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Is My Husband A Narcissist?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Wanderer.
Wanderer: Hello, Council, and Bob, and Cynthia. I have a very important question as I am going through an emotional and spiritual enlightening process. I want to check if you think my husband is a narcissist.
Council: Aah, so we hear you say you are going through an enlightening process, but being more enlightened, you would not be interested in somebody else being a narcissist. So right there is something for you to look at – how you are looking at this person or people in your life.
And even if they were under this title that you give them, it does not matter. What helps you grow as a spirit, and evolve, and have new people coming into your life is to allow them to be however they are. You may see them as narcissistic, and yet others may not.
So again we say, check on your perception of what is going on. And even if you feel they are [narcissistic], we would say to you, so what? Are you not here to learn to love? Are you not here to learn how to accept everyone the way they are? How you handle this is with your thoughts. If you evolve and allow them to be, you will find more peace, and it doesn’t matter what they are. And we hope you will work on this.
Wanderer: His family dynamics are such a way that I see very selfish behavior from men. This includes creating a story that includes selfish motives, not having boundaries, thinking children are supposed to serve elders, and so on.
Council: And in this, what is your behavior like? You can be aware of this, but are you kindly setting boundaries so you do not let the others affect you? Are you treating the children with kindness in love?
Everything that you see in another, take a look, because a part of it is for you to see what is bothering you, and what is going on in your life. Are you part of this? Are they a mirror to show you? And of course, we see, yes, your thinking, your perception, and your actions also need to be looked at so that they can change.
Wanderer: My husband has been neglectful and has double standards – different standards when it comes to his family, and different expectations when it comes to our own family.
Council: And that is part of his growth. It is part of who he is. And all you need to do is to be aware of it, and then act appropriately for yourself with kindness, and with letting others be.
Wanderer: I want to check if he is a narcissist, and if there’s any hope for a change.
Council: We would say that your belief that he is a narcissist makes it true for you. But we would also say that there are others who do not believe that. So is this person a narcissist, or isn’t he? It is what you believe. It is what you choose to see.
And at this point in humanity, how everyone is here to bring the love from spirit into your lifetime, it is what you choose to see. And even if you think he is, and his whole family is – they’re all narcissists – so does that mean that you have to be like that?
It’s like, wish them well, hope that they change, but you do the changing, you make your boundaries, you always be kind and show love. And it is not always easy, but we can tell you this: if you begin to try to be accepting, if you begin to show the littlest kindness, and not keep tabs on what you do, and what they do, if you come with that intention, your life will change. You will grow. The people in your life will change. You will bring new people into your life, and you will find happiness. And so take the attention and put it on yourself. How would you like to be?
Wanderer: Interestingly, I think my mother has also been somewhat neglectful toward my Dad, and has been unable to love him truly. So there’s a pattern in this behavior I can see where they don’t see their own faults, and they weave a storyline that suits them.
Council: And we see the pattern, and this does not make it good or bad. It makes it come to your attention that we see the pattern that you are seeing negatively into each person, that you are tuned into that negative vibration where you will find things wrong with others. Again, take a look at this. Do you see the pattern? Are you willing to change? And most important, how will you go forward? What about you? What about your thoughts? What about your actions?
It is all coming to a head that you will see all these actions in others that you think are horrible, but we would say, what is your part in this? You wanted to learn this. It is here in front of you. And so you are in a wonderful place on your path where you have the ability to acknowledge, but then to plan how you want to be.
Wanderer: I’m trying to develop more self-love…
Council: That’s the key.
Wanderer: …and self-worth at this time to be able to choose better.
Council: That’s the key. You’re getting it. We are very proud of you.
Wanderer: I have a question on my personality type, as well. My husband is a master at gaslighting, and tells me that I’m narcissistic, where I’ve only been a giver in this relationship.
Council: And so he sees you as this. Do you see the pattern that is going on between all of you? And he sees you as narcissistic. You do not believe you are that way. And that’s what you [should] think of when you see him as narcissistic, or his family. They don’t believe they are that way. And so the lesson is right there in front of you.
Wanderer: Can The Council please guide me if I have any narcissistic traits?
Council: To other people, yes. To you, no. What is more important is how you see yourself, how to be honest with yourself, the way you are acting, and never mind what everybody else thinks. That is your lesson going forward.
Wanderer: Also, can The Council please guide me on how I overcome this narcissistic and financial abuse?
Council: You begin to love yourself. Really, really love yourself, and to show kindness to yourself, to others, to make boundaries with love, and with kindness. Then everything will begin to change.
And so we wish everyone to become aware of how wonderful you all are, that you are all spirits here on the same path of bringing love, of bringing acceptance, of feeling good about others, and of feeling good about yourself. How learning to accept yourself and others is important. Most of all, reach out with the kindness, reach out with the love, and that is how we all came here to change this reality.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Wanderer and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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What Can I Do About My Husband’s Debt Problems?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Lost89.
Lost89: Hi, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. I hope you guys are doing well. I have been so depressed and lost for the past couple of years. Nothing has been going right for me. My husband has made very poor decisions regarding our finances. We are in a huge debt now because of him. The situation keeps getting worse. I try to make him see reason and control his habits of spending money in an unwise manner, but he just doesn’t seem to understand. He keeps getting into more debt.
Council: We’d like to say here that this is a lesson from, we would say, three past lives that are affecting him now. And that’s why it’s so hard because he’s having a hard time with this lesson. And there was one life back in ancient times, and he had nothing. He was a slave who served. And his attitude, how he handled that, was being unaccepting. He could not find gratitude that he was a servant, but in a very good house. He wanted to be free. He wanted lovely things that he saw around. And he died in that same position of having nothing. And at the end, he didn’t even understand and was upset about that.
And then many years later, he brought it again. And it would be in a time that you would call the Old West in the United States. And he was not only a gambler there, but he was a drinker, and in a lot of trouble, and killed a lot of people. And he always wanted to gamble. More, more, more. More money, more money. He didn’t feel it was enough because he was carrying the feeling from the prior life. So in this life, the Western, he was shot. He was murdered. And he was shocked. When he was shot, he was not ready, and did not have the time to have a thought about what happened, and try to change his life.
And then we come further into the 1930s, and he was in Germany and had a beautiful house, and it was the time when the Germans were taking over and using the extermination camps. So the beautiful house that he finally achieved, the money, the paintings, the clothes, everything he wanted in the prior lives he had, but he lost. It was taken from him. So once again, he had a feeling of not having enough and not being safe.
And so when his life ended in that lifetime, he has brought it forth this time because his soul really, really wants to heal this. And from what you’re saying, he’s having a hard time again. And unfortunately you have to follow the rule of: let him be. Let him learn by himself. Let him see how it’s affecting your life and his life. And so he really wants to and needs to do it. And he will create a way either to fix it, learn from it, or carry it forward again.
And so that’s why it’s such a hard lesson. And you are part of it because you agreed to help. And so you are helping by being there, but you will help even more by allowing him to do what he can. Now you, in any way you can, make as much money as you possibly can, but always keep some for yourself. And so there is always some money, but he may not know that.
And so we ask you to learn how to meditate. If not, then daily sit in a chair, even if it’s only for ten minutes. And see, now that you know what is happening, see it changing. See that image. Feel in your body how happy you are when you see he’s beginning to change. And that’s how you heal it.
Lost89: We are starting to even get letters about lawsuits from the Supreme Court of Creditors.
Council: Yes, this is part of it.
Lost89: He bought an expensive car that I didn’t want and that we didn’t need. We barely have any money to even buy groceries and pay rent because all our money is going toward debt and expenses.
Council: Now when you get these letters, when you get the bills, even if you think it does no good, sit down with him and show him. Say, “Read this,” or read it to him. “Look what’s happening.” Point it out. That is part of your job. You can point it out and say, “What is your plan? What do you want to do about this?” So by you doing that, you are putting the lesson in his face. So every time there is a notice, every time there’s a bill that’s not paid, you stop him, and you sit down, and you show him. “Okay, here’s this again. What are we going to do?” And that’s how you teach him.
Lost89: It seems like no matter how hard I try to save money, things just keep getting worse. It’s always one thing or another. Please help put some insight and guidance to this matter. Thank you. Love and light.
Council: You must do it energetically first. And because you wanted to be there to help that person, and it helps you grow when you learn to accept, when you learn to be nice, even when it’s so hard for that person. You will be working on issues that are coming forward with you. So we would say, take these steps, and you will see a change.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lost89 and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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How to Set Boundaries with Toxic In-Laws for a Healthier Life
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Starfish.
Starfish: Hello, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. Thanks for doing all the amazing work. I have a question for which I’d like to seek The Council’s guidance.
I’m having issues with my husband and in-laws that are causing a lot of mental anxiety, and lung-related issues for me. My husband is too attached to my in-laws, and is not able to have healthy boundaries. My in-laws have certain toxic traits, and they come to have an extended stay with us, causing a lot of disruptions in my health.
Council: Has this always been this way, or are you just aware of it now? So we’d ask you to take a look at this.
Starfish: My husband prioritizes his parents and is not able to see the wrong behaviors done by them. I want to check if it’s possible to have a future for me where I can stay with my husband happily, and not have to deal with or live with my in-laws?
Council: And so we would say this would all be up to you; how you see it and how you work with the energy. It is possible for you to speak to your husband about this and come up with something that would work for the both of you. If there’s no cooperation on his side, then we would say, well what can you do? Can you have your in-laws in your home and not spend too much time with them? Are you able to look at how they behave, then do the work, and try to learn what makes them like that? What are they trying to accomplish?
There’s always a lesson in these difficult challenges. And so we would say, play with that and see what comes out of trying to learn from it. But again, you have to do the work of meditating and seeing the way you want it.
We feel right now you are more on the path of: Can I leave and make a good life for myself, rather than trying to fix it. And there is no wrong answer. The choice is always yours, but it is now time for you to realize the choice is yours. What can you do to try to live with this behavior? Can you talk to his parents? Can you tell them this is upsetting, and will not be accepted anymore? Can you be honest and have this kind of conversation?
But to be there and let it go on, and not say anything to your husband and to his parents is just sitting in this lesson, and we do know what happens. If you don’t fix it now, if you don’t learn from it, you will repeat it in another life until you get the lesson.
So we would suggest that this time do everything that you can to learn from this lesson. If you still feel that it’s not for you, then you make the decision to leave. But always know it is your decision. This will not come from anybody else. So if you see yourself not being able to communicate with your in-laws, you will create that. If you can do the work and see things getting better, then that will happen. But what are you doing with the visualization? How are you working on this?
Starfish: The other option is for me to move away from my husband and create a different life for me and my son.
Council: Yes, you can do that, but then again, look at the whole picture. Is that what you want? How will you move forward? In what area? How will it help you be a better mother? How would it help you make your child happy and give him a good environment? If it will make things difficult for you when it comes to finances, how will you handle that? What will you do with it? How you handle things means a lot. So you don’t want to take your child and move away, not have the right finances, be nervous, maybe take it out on the child, or be worried all the time. Make a plan. If you decide to leave, where will you go? How will you work? How do you see your life moving forward? And this again is visualization.
Starfish: Can The Council please guide me on which path me and my son will find happiness and peace? I want to understand whether it will be on the path with my husband, or leaving my husband.
Council: And no one can make that decision but you. We can not tell you, “Oh yes, you will be happy,” because we don’t know what will be going on in your mind in the future. Are you thinking the wrong thoughts so that you’re creating the wrong outcome? It is always, always up to you. You decide what you want and then do the work of what you want. Will you stay, or will you go? It is entirely up to you. You are the creator.
Starfish: Looking at my anxiety issues and lung disorder, I don’t think I can deal with my in-laws in the same house with the current attitude of my husband. My son and I have suffered a lot in this relationship and I don’t think I can suffer more, and I don’t know how to create a future with my husband without my in-laws’ influence. Sometimes I think my in-laws are here so that I can see the true colors of my husband and move on.
Council: Oh, no, no, no. They are here to see the true colors of yourself, and how you will respond to all of this. And remember, this is something you wanted to learn to grow from it. So this is always about you. And it’s easy to blame the husband, or you know, go off in different directions. It is always about you learning about you.
Starfish: Also, I’ve been told by The Council that if I move away from my husband, my child is going to learn different lessons without his father.
Council: How wonderful. Then there are different lessons.
Starfish: Can The Council please guide me on what will be my and my child’s lessons without the father?
Council: Without the father there will be many other lessons. And again, it’s what you create. Do you create a good home environment? If not, then one of the lessons will be for you or your child how to live in that, how to create it differently, how to move forward differently if it’s not what you want.
And so, until you decide what you want, you will not create the environment that you want. And so we can not tell you to do this or do that. First decide what you want, then devise a whole plan on how to do this where you are truly comfortable.
So your son and you will have different lessons, but that was all chosen, that was all pre-planned. Now which way your decision takes you will allow what other lessons you need to learn, and that you need to go through this lifetime to learn from. And it’s that simple.
Starfish: Thanks.
Council: It is our duty, shall we say, it is our work to help the souls that are in a human reality to learn that: #1, you are the creator. We are not here to give you answers. We are here to show you how to get the answers. And so we say, take your time. You can go back and forth with your decision until one day you will decide: This is it.
And so we all send you all the love from spirit for you to take in, to feel it, to picture it, and send it out again. And then you are on your way to healing not only America, the United States, but the whole planet. This is your purpose.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Starfish and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Please Provide Clarity On My Unexpected Pregnancy In My Unhappy Marriage
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, L.
L: Hello again Bob and Cynthia. You were kind enough to ask for clarity for me a couple of years ago when I became pregnant unexpectedly. It was a tough time, and I lost the baby at the end of the first trimester. I could not go through with a termination, and offered to the spirit that I would leave it with them to stay with me or go. Our world was a little rocky and the babe left.
I now find myself unexpectedly pregnant again at 42 years old. Again my husband is not happy. I am shocked, but less so than before. Our relationship was already in conflict, and this pregnancy is pushing the limits of our mutual disrespect and fighting. I don’t feel like my last pregnancy with him, but I definitely do not feel embraced.
I would love some clarity from The Council regarding this pregnancy and the way forward. Part of me hoped that we could make this pregnancy work for us, bring us closer together, and be more in harmony, but it has not. At ten weeks pregnant we can barely be civil to each other. I’m not in a position to be a single mother of three children, however. I’m so sad at what our relationship has become for me and our children.
I am looking for the light, as I feel at times so lost, being pregnant at my age, and in an unhappy marriage with two children. Any guidance would be appreciated. I wish for a happy, peaceful life with my family, and good health. Thank you, L.
Council: Unfortunately there are many, many people, when they are in relationships that are not working out, feel like they will have a child and that will bring you closer together. And that does not always work. Many, many times it makes it worse. You have a relationship where there are problems already. Do you think this new little spirit is going to change your life? The spirit agreed to come forward if that’s what you want, but the spirit will then have to deal with their issues, and you will still have your issues.
And so you are at a point where you must decide if you have this child and you wind up alone, is this what you want? Can you handle it? If you don’t have this child and you stay in this marriage, do you think it will improve at all?
But what we say is, now is the time to do the visualization the way you want your life to be. But make some sort of a decision, like no, I cannot be a single mother of three, or yes I can. What’s one more? But at least I’ll be free and out of this relationship. Or stay with two children and somehow we will get along.
But that won’t magically happen. What’s going to happen is your thoughts will create what will happen. So if you want to have this child, and you want to stay in this marriage, now is the time to see it, and to see it as if it’s already happening, to see it with joy in your heart that this worked out, this is wonderful. And that is how you create.
And we send you peach and love.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for L. and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Finding Gratitude in Marriage
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the initial, A.
A: Hi, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. Thank you for taking our questions. I would like some insight into my marriage. I don’t feel like I can be myself around my husband. It feels like my heart is closed off. I have a lot of resentment towards him, especially since having a child, and where the first few years I received almost no support from him.
Council: And so why are you now staying in that past, and what you experienced in the past? Can you see anything that you can be grateful for in your marriage now? Look at your partner. What is there that’s positive about him? Look for the good. When you do this you will find it. And the more you look, the more you will find.
A: I have found his behavior to be very selfish. I try to move past the resentment, but each new selfish act reminds me of the past. I no longer feel joy when I am around him.
Council: And so, when you see him do something you consider selfish, take a look at it. Is it really selfish? Or are you just going back into that feeling of how it was before? And if you see him doing something selfish, can you replace it and force yourself to find something that’s good? We ask you to look at this so that you can make a decision for yourself that’s more of what you want.
A: We have brought up divorce quite a few times. I’m not sure if this is the route I want to take.
Council: And that is why it’s good, at this point, to look for stuff to be grateful for in your marriage.
A: When I imagine that [divorce] future, part of it feels more freeing, but not all of it. I also don’t want to remain in a relationship where I feel alone and misunderstood.
Council: And when you feel like this, what usually happens in your human existence is you look for someone else. Someone that would give you the littlest bit of attention. And so we say, before you go there, look and see what works, and if there is great kindness in your marriage.
A: I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much from my relationship. I know I need to learn independence, but I’m not sure if this is the real problem, or if it’s just incompatibility between us.
Council: So again you’re saying you need to learn independence. What can you do to experience that now? Take that step in changing yourself. Take that step of learning something that you feel you need to learn. It is wise that you know that. So instead of waiting until later, do it now.
A: Another strange thing has been happening. I met this man…
Council: Ahhh!
A: …that I have hardly spoken with, and when I’m near him, I think about him. I have very strong feelings that cause me to question my marriage. This has happened twice now. I’ve never felt feelings like this towards another person.
Council: Because there is a longing in you that is looking for something new, something easy, something happy.
A: Who is this person to me?
Council: It is a spirit that you have called in because you feel something lacking in what you have now.
A: Are these my feelings, his feelings, or both?
Council: It is your feelings. And you can create it to go in any direction you want. But we say, question yourself, look for the good, come up with an answer, and then start the focusing and imagery on how you want your life to be.
A: Thank you very much for any insight you can provide.
Council: And we send you peace and love.
Listen to the entire 2-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for A. and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
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Follow-up Questions From A Married Woman About A Man She Met
This post answers follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named, Lisa, about our post, How Do I Handle A Relationship With A Man Who Isn’t My Husband?
Lisa: We got sexy over the phone. I pulled back. I told him we know each other from previous lives, and I know he’s in my life for a purpose, but we have to work together to market each others business, and help each other because we’re on the same wavelength. He replied, “Wow, let’s just end this now.”
Council: He’s not very intuned with knowing you from a past life, and that’s just where he is at this time. But he was going in one direction and you shut it down, so the interest in not there.
Lisa: Now I’m thinking is he going to tell my husband on me? Is he going to be upset and rude if I go to the park on Wednesday, and I keep getting angel messages that it’s part of my life’s divine purpose?
Council: We would say here to ask yourself why are you going back to the park? Why don’t you stay away from it for a while If you are in fear of him talking to your husband? Just – what is it that they say in your reality right now? – ghost yourself. Don’t go there. And stop thinking of being afraid that he will tell your husband. In that fear, if you constantly do that, you will create it. We do not see him wanting to do that, but you are very powerful, and in your fear you will create it. So we would say, do yourself a real easy favor and just stay away.
Lisa: But he’s not speaking to me, so what do I do?
Council: Nothing. He is not speaking to you. Is that not a clue? Is there something about him not speaking to you that you do not understand? It’s very clear he’s shutting this down. So we would say to pay attention to that. Don’t open up something that’s not going to go in the direction that he wants.
Lisa: Will he speak to me again?
Council: We would say, eventually, if you stay away for a while and not go into how you have to help each other out, and you know each other from other lives. Just be cordial. That’s it.
Listen to the entire 3-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lisa and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
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Is The Man In My Dreams From A Past Life?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Jayden. in response to our post, Do My Favorite Aunt And I Share A Past Life Connection?
Jayden: Hi. I also want to ask about my past life connection. Ever since I was a kid, I kept having these dreams or visions about a guy named, Liam.
Council: Ah, we would correct that. It was Len-Am. In the life that you’re referring to, everyone had a name, something they were called. And after that was, -Am, and that would tell people that’s who they were. So if your name was Joan, it would be, Joan-Am, or John-Am. So you were referring to Len-Am, who was a husband at that time, a wonderful relationship, and you were Mu-Am. So there was Len-Am and Mu-Am. Isn’t that wonderful? You were close.
Jayden: In my dream, he was usually lying in a hospital bed and seemed to be dying. I think I was his lover or married partner.
Council: You were his married partner.
Jayden: I used to think this was all my imagination until I learned about spirits because whenever I connected with him in my mind, I felt very intense emotions, like profound love for him and from him, but also lots of grief, and I always ended up crying. So I want to ask The Council, is he a real person from one of my past life memories?
Council: Yes, definitely. And you are still connected in spirit and working on other levels together.
Jayden: Or is he present in my current life right now as a spirit guide, and will I get to meet him in this lifetime?
Council: There is a possibility you would meet when you are much older, and that is a possibility that was wanted by the two of you in spirit. And so if you both want to create it, that will happen. But for now, the connection is there. And connect through your thoughts with this spirit.
Bob: Would you say that Len-Am would be considered a spirit guide to Jayden at this point?
Council: Yes, we would say that. This person is in spirit and helping Jayden. And they are still on some level creating as they are going along in their current lifetime. So we say, there is that possibility where they do meet at a much later age.
Jayden: It would be lovely if you can add any extra details or insights about this, or anything relevant that I need to know at this point in my life. Thank you, and lots of love and light to you all.
Council: And so we say what is most important now is to realize you are still spirit, not in the physical sense yet, but spirit. The both of you are still connected and are still working together. So ask at night before you sleep to have visions of the two of you. Be able to talk and know going forward what you want to create. It is very possible to have this communication. It is a very strong communication.
And so we would say to Len-Am and Mu-Am, have a wonderful lifetime, whichever way you choose to use it. In this reality, you will both learn from it.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Jayden and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
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How Can I Handle My Husband’s Secrecy And Lying?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Kristi, about her relationship with her husband.
Kristi: I am in what is turning into a dire situation, and I desperately need some help, clarity, and guidance. I have been married for 21 years, and have recently found out that my husband has been engaging in secretive behaviors that he’s been lying to me about. I found out he has been hiding and lying to me about these behaviors for most of our marriage, which that alone has completely destroyed me and the foundation of our relationship. During the past year, my gut has been telling me that he’s still lying to me, but he denies, denies, denies. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but my intuition isn’t letting me move on.
Council: So you say here you want to give this person the benefit of the doubt, and yet you have no belief in what he’s saying. So right there is a block that is in the way for it to turn around and have any sort of door open to a conversation that would be of benefit. So do you truly want to talk about it? Do you truly want to believe it? Or do you truly want the proof that this is going on?
So we’d say this question is all about you, not what your husband is doing. This is about learning your feelings, learning to go with what you believe, and really searching for how you feel.
So the best way to start is by asking, What is it that you really want? Do you really want to stay in this? Or do you finally want the proof that this is going on and you can release yourself from this partnership? So that’s the first lesson in this.
Kristi: I still feel like he’s lying to me to keep me from leaving him.
Council: And that must be very unsettling and very unhappy.
Kristi: I’ve tried everything in order to get the full truth out on the table so we can confront it, heal it, learn from it, and move past it, but he just wants to sweep it under the rug and move on.
Council: Here there’s a fear of speaking about it, and there are lessons that he is going through that you don’t understand or need to know right now. So trying to get this out on the table to talk about will not work right now. That doesn’t mean it will never work, but it will not work right now. Are you okay with this? Is there enough forgiveness, is there enough love there for you to wait it out and see what happens?
While you’re waiting it out, you have to do the imagery work, the feeling work, to see it the way you want it to be. And you can not do this unless you search yourself and you find out, do you really want it to be, or do you really want a way out? And then do the imagery work.
Kristi: During the last year my self-esteem has eroded and I found myself suicidal for the first time in my life.
Council: So now we ask you…that is a very serious thought…suicide. Why would you want to end your life because of a problem in a marriage? Why would you want to ruin your life because your partner is doing things that you don’t understand, you don’t appreciate, or you don’t like? Is that what your spirit really wants? Do you think your higher self wants you to end this life? No. It wants you to figure it out. Figure out who you are. Figure out what you want. No one can take good feelings about yourself from you unless you let them.
If he is doing something that you don’t understand and you think it is horrible, why would you end your life, which you can create any other way you want, because of another person’s problem?
So this question that you are coming to us for an answer, isn’t about your husband, how to get him to do this, how to get him to do that. It’s about you. Your higher self is saying, find guidance and listen to the answers, and figure out who you are so you don’t end this reality prematurely. We hope that is understood.
Kristi: I’ve tried to find concrete proof of his behavior, but I’m coming up short.
Council: You know they say when you search hard enough for something, eventually you’ll find it. So instead of looking for concrete proof that your husband is lying to you, look for proof that he’s not lying to you. So if you want the marriage, look for proof that the objectionable behavior is not happening. Really look for signs. If you want a way out, then keep looking for proof that it is happening. Do you see here how you are in control? Your thoughts, your mind – what you look for, you will find. You will create it.
Kristi: I have a difficult time ending my 21-year marriage based on my gut feeling with no definitive proof.
Council: Yes, the proof has to come from who you are, who you find out you are, and what you really want.
Kristi: I’m really struggling. Why am I taking the word of a liar over my own intuition? He has been gaslighting me for over a year and I’m doubting myself now. I don’t want to break up our family, and I want to believe him, but I’m lost. I’m scared I’m going to make the wrong decision and have regrets. I do love him, but our relationship isn’t in a good place right now. I personally am not in a good place either because I feel frozen and unsure of myself.
Council: Find thoughts that make you feel good first. Before you decide anything in this relationship – if it’s memories, if it’s fantasies, if it’s scenes from a movie – find something to think of that makes you feel good. From that vibration you ask yourself, “What is it that I want?” The answer then will come and it will be very clear. And the feeling you get with the answer that you see will help you make the move. And if it’s truly what you want, your higher self will show you how to deal with this all along the way, how to see it, how to let go of it, how to have patience knowing this person has their own problems, and the suffering, and perhaps – and we say here, perhaps – the lying.
So we’d say, do the work. Take the challenge. You created this because you wanted to find clarity, because you wanted to know how to learn more about yourself, and how you wanted your life to go on, and how you’d be of help to this other person who desperately needs it. Or how to let that other person find another way to deal with it and you go your merry way.
This is all about you, all about what you want. So do the work to make yourself feel good. Stop thinking of ending your life and start having happy, wonderful thoughts, and then start seeing your future. How would I be if I were free going on? How would it be if I stayed and helped? Does it make me happy to be of service? Will this change? And yes, it will change, if you want it. So the question is all about you.
Kristi: We can’t keep going on like this. I’d like to ask The Council for any insight about this situation that they can provide. What lessons are in play here? And what’s the best way to handle this situation? I don’t know how to reach him, and I’m afraid too much damage has been done.
Council: How about thinking, “Oh, I do know how to reach him. It will come to me. There will be some sort of peace. We will be able to work on this. He will soften and talk to me. We’ll find a way to know what we have to do, and I will be of service, not only to him, but to us. And so we wish you well on this.
Kristi: Thank you for any insights you can give me. With many thanks, Kristi.
Council: And so we send you blessings, and happiness, and light, beautiful energy to carry you through your days. To meditate and pray, or have a few moments a day to have happy thoughts, and move forward in your life, knowing every single thing that you are experiencing, you have brought in to be of service, to learn from it, and to bring healing and love into your reality.
Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Kristi and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.
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Am I Facing A Dark Night Of The Soul?
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader.
Anonymous: Hello. Can The Council please let me know if I am facing a dark night of the soul? I’m misunderstood by a lot of people in my life, and it’s getting hard for me to continue with a lot of close relationships. I’m starting to lose trust and confidence, which is impacting my health a lot.
Following a fallout with my manager at work I have also faced a job loss recently, which has further amplified this health issue. Can The Council please guide me about how to come out of this despair, and if I have a past life history with my old manager?
Council: We would like to say here that if you were in this dark night of the soul, which is a very hard place to be, you wouldn’t be asking for our guidance because you wouldn’t be believing in anything. You’d be feeling completely alone. So the fact that you are asking shows that you know there is something more than you out there, but you don’t have a lot of patience to want to wait for it. It’s an uncomfortable feeling.
And so we would say when you have that feeling of this dark night, the best thing to do is to go into your heart chakra in your chest and build that up. Start filling it with green energy. Put this energy in your chest, down your arms, around the outside of your body, and just see the color green getting brighter, growing, going all the way down to your fingers and spurting out your fingers.
Work on the heart chakra. When that is getting the attention and the energy it needs, your thoughts, the way you feel, and what you experience in your life will change. It will get better. The heart chakra is very, very important. And so you can do the whole chakra meditation, or just for now work on the heart, but that will begin to lift your spirits.
Sometimes you can look for a little pinhead of light in the heart chakra, so it’s all green, but one little dot of white light. Watch it grow until it comes out of your body and all around you.
Bob: Any advice on a past life history with their old manager?
Council: Let’s see. You met in another life, very late in life. You took in a lot of homeless children, and it was hard, but you loved being of service. And it was almost like you had this life together, but you always felt you could do more and you didn’t, and it was very upsetting. And unfortunately when you left that reality, you weren’t happy with how you handled it, and you sort of blamed each other for holding each other back, or not doing things the right way.
And so in your current lifetime you wanted to see if you could work together, if you could take direction, if you can get along and make things happen, and really make things grow and advance in your careers. You wanted to get to a place where you could understand what each other wanted or needed, where in that other lifetime you didn’t. You just went around your business doing whatever you thought would work, but there wasn’t that togetherness. And so you wanted to come together again in this lifetime to see if that could happen.
Anonymous: I used to have a good relationship with this manager to begin with, and then it deteriorated very fast, which impacted my mental health a lot.
Council: So look at this relationship. What made it deteriorate? What sticks out for you?
Anonymous: I also have an on/off, mostly off, relationship with a husband who has an extreme ego. He misunderstands me, and justifies his bad actions with reasons that exist in his head, possibly influenced by my in-laws.
Council: It is influenced by – very interesting here – what you experienced in that past life with your boss. Not understanding exactly what you are experiencing with your husband, you wanted to experience this again to see how you could change it, how you could understand it, and how you can handle it. And so that problem with your husband is coming from a past life, and your desire to know how to change it. Can you do that?
Anonymous: It feels like I’m hitting a wall in all areas of my life. This hurts my child, as well. I’m trying to keep my thoughts positive, but it’s like fighting an internal battle every ten minutes and gets exhausting. Please guide me. Thanks a ton for the great work you guys do.
Council: Get into a place where you are willing to have this husband – where you see he wants his way, and does things his way, and it’s uncomfortable – get into a place where all you do is see it, and just think, let me flow with it. Let me have good thoughts, not want to change it, just have good thoughts and bring light to myself. And without bucking the problem and making it worse, not getting to a place where I must change this and I must change that, let me just watch it. Let me just flow with it, and I want peace, and I want things to work out. And just flowing with it, you will see how easily it comes.
Blessings to all, and have fun with your creations.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time. For the time being you don’t have to attach your name to the comment, but there have been a lot of anonymous comments lately and it can be confusing for us to keep track of these. It would help us if you made up a name rather than using no name.
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What You Create In Your Life Is The Only Thing That’s Important
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader who asks about her relationship with her husband.
Anonymous: I have a question about my family and marriage. My husband is not very supportive and he’s very calculating in our relationship. I lost my job three months ago and he doesn’t support me financially.
Council: So we’d ask you, what are you doing in this time? Are you trying to find another job? Are you being careful about what you think? When you constantly think this is hard, your husband is manipulative, he’s not supporting you – as you think of this, you create more of it. So hopefully we have all learned that.
So now think of when the relationship was better and when he was supportive. And also think about, I don’t need to depend on that. What can I do for myself? It’s a lesson in being independent.
And so we’d also say, yes you’ve written for some guidance and we would simply ask, have you sat down and spoken to your husband about how you feel? And not in a threatening way and not to have a fight, but if he was supportive before, why isn’t he supportive now? Find out where he is on his path, what he feels, and why he’s acting like this.
In your particular situation, communication is very important. So the first step is to sit down and have a talk about what’s going on, and why there is that change.
Anonymous: Verbally he supports me, but when it comes to money his attitude toward me is very calculating.
Council: So that is what you speak about. It’s good to have questions about this. It’s good to bring this up so that there’s a dialog.
Anonymous: I’ve been managing everything on my own. He’s not this way with his parents and other friends.
Lately he’s saying that he may not live long. I also have intuitions, being an empath, that he may not be able to live beyond two or three years. Can The Council please guide me if my husband’s soul has planned an ending, and what I can do to improve the relationship so that I’m truly happy for whatever time we have together?
Council: Well we’d say here it’s not important what your husband is planning. It’s important what you imagine will happen. If you don’t want your husband around, yes, you could imagine him passing from this incarnation very soon, or maybe lasting a year. But when you have that feeling it’s going to happen, you will create it because of that feeling.
You can change that if you don’t want your husband to leave this lifetime. Imagine him getting better, feeling better, becoming more of a partner, and having more understanding between the two of you.
It’s important for you to know what you create in your life is the only thing that’s important, and it comes from your thoughts and your feelings.
So don’t waste energy thinking about what is he planning or what is he doing. How do you want your life to go forward? How do you want it to unfold? That’s how powerful you are. We hope you understand this.
And so we wish you all love, happiness, and excitement on your journey, and think of wonderful, wonderful things to experience. It could be the littlest thing, but focus on that, and be in a state of gratitude for everything that you have and everything you’ve passed through. And that vibration of gratitude, little by little, will begin to change your life.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.
Or you can pay $60 for the opportunity to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking on this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.
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Have I Met The Person I’ll Marry After My Husband Passed?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Momof3, and is in response to our post, Do I Have A Twin Flame, Not A Soulmate?
Momof3: This topic of twin flames and soulmates has been something that’s intrigued me. I’ve often wondered if my late husband is my twin flame or soulmate. I was inseparable from him, but he passed away. I still feel connected with him spiritually and energetically, and it overwhelms me sometimes.
Council: Of course you’re still connected. Just because someone passes into spirit and one is back in the physical reality, there’s no break in the connection.
And so you want to know if this was your soulmate. We’d say, yes, because this soul and you have chosen each other as mates in this particular lifetime. Any two people that come together are soul mates. You decide to spend this life together, or part of this life together, and work things out together. And so you are mates.
We realize many in the physical world think there’s something wonderful, that they must find the one, the soulmate. Anyone you have a relationship with is a soul that’s mated to you for whatever length of time you decide. And so we’d say, yes, and enjoy that, and enjoy the connection you still have with your husband.
Bob: In a recent post you clarified the difference between the terms, twin flame and soulmate.
Council: Yes. This relationship with her husband was not a twin flame. He was another spirit.
Momof3: I’m sure we had a soul contract or past lives together, or maybe I’m just believing these things to have answers and cope with losing him.
Council: The soul contract you speak of is just an agreement that we’ll go into the physical reality and this is what we plan.
Momof3: But since my husband passed, I’ve met other men and had relationships, and I also feel connected to those men. I guess they’ve all come into my life to teach me something. Are they all my soulmates also, or is there just one?
Council: They are soulmates also. They’ve come in to give you the feeling of love that you feel you’ve lost with your husband passing on. And so it’s just a way to experience love. Different ways are available with different people, and that is all agreed upon.
Momof3: I was told that my late husband wasn’t the one I’d spend my life with and that my true soulmate or twin flame would come after him.
Council: There’s such an emphasis in your reality about this true soulmate. We’ll say again, anyone that you’re in a relationship with is a soulmate. So yes, it’s true you didn’t spend this entire reality with your husband. There will be others. There will be as many as you wish to create. You can get tired of creating many other mates, and then you may create the one that fills your desire for what you want a soulmate to be. And that’s how it works.
Momof3: Of course I never thought that would be true and I’d lose him.
Council: Nothing has been lost. It’s important to remember that. The connection is there and you can still speak to your husband and he’ll speak to you. You only need to be quiet and to believe, and you’ll see the answers.
Momof3: I wonder if I’ve met this person I’d marry now.
Council: We don’t see that yet. And yet if someone comes along and you really want this person to be your forever partner, you can create it that way. It’s so important to remember that you are the creator.
So as you go about your life and the people you pull in to meet, see which one fits perfectly to what you want. And then you’ll create that reality that you’ll be together, and how long you’ll be together.
Momof3: I’ve had a love relationship that recently ended, and I’m trying not to get involved in another one too soon.
Council: It’s all up to you.
Momof3: But I feel like there are connections with people I meet. In particular, there’s a man I’m dating, I’ll call him, J, but I don’t want to make the same mistakes of past relationships.
Council: There’s no rush. Take your time. Enjoy this relationship. See it the way you want it. Focus on the way you want it to be, and that is what you’ll create.
Momof3: I do believe all these friendships and meetings are to teach me something and help me heal, and for me to help J, as well.
Council: It’s to teach you that you are the creator.
Momof3: In helping J, I feel healing, but I feel that I’m searching for my soulmate and I feel incomplete.
Council: That’s because of the belief you have. So now remember that anyone who comes into your life can fit the bill of being your soulmate. And while no one is perfect, whoever comes into your life, there’s always some sort of agreement, I will teach you this, you will teach me that. We’ll go through certain things.
And so, do not expect the perfect soulmate to be a perfect physical human being. That’s not what you’re here for.
Bob: How would you address this feeling that Momof3 has about feeling incomplete?
Council: Because many come into this reality with the belief – and they are here to change this belief – that they are not complete, that you have to have the soulmate to be complete, that you have to have the twin soul to be complete. That isn’t true. You are complete. You are everything that you have ever been in every life. Every answer that you need to every question is within you.
The way to create whatever it is that you want in this life is up to you. You can change it day by day by what you want. And just by focusing on it the life around you will change. It’s all up to you. No one will come along and do it. It’s all up to you.
Bob: So it sounds like you’re saying that the feeling Momof3 has that she’s incomplete comes from a belief that she needs someone outside of herself to complete her. And it sounds like you’re suggesting that’s not true.
Council: Exactly.
Momof3: Then there’s my oldest son. We’re so alike, but we also butt heads a lot. I feel like he hates me and loves me, and it’s a difficult relationship. Is he from my past lives? And does he have to work out things with me from these past lives?
Council: Yes, you know your son from before, but what’s going on now is that you’re here to learn that you have given birth to this soul. You have agreed to bring this soul into this reality. You’ve only agreed to give him entry. You do not control him. You don’t own him. You’re here to watch how he grows, to learn from what he goes through, and to be as understanding as you can.
The way to love him is to let him be himself. Yes, there are times your child will hate you. There are times your child will love you. But when you show love and you allow this child to be whatever he needs to be, and to work on whatever he needs to work on, it will all turn around. And because you show love and acceptance, you’ll receive that same love and acceptance.
Momof3: How can I have a loving relationship with him, or do I just let him be and concentrate on myself?
Council: Of course let him be, but show him love. Show him when you’re disappointed, when you feel maybe his actions are hurtful, but allow him to be. And whenever he does something you don’t approve of, we would end the conversation with the words: I love you, and I’ll allow you to go through whatever you need to go through. Those words will change so much.
Have patience. Just remember you’re not here to control. You’re not here to boss this person around and have things done the way you want. Watch him with curiosity. What is he learning? What is he going through? And what am I learning from it? There’s great growth on both parts when you can look at things this way. And all will be well.
Momof3: Maybe I’m just trying to find answers to feelings and emotions I feel towards men that I can’t explain. Maybe it’s just me being lonely and simply wanting to be loved and to love like it was with my husband. But I feel lost and confused, and I feel like I’m constantly searching for my other half.
Council: You are your other half. What we wish you to do now is to focus on what it is that you want, and know that you can have this.
Momof3: I try to hold back my emotions and feelings because I know I’m vulnerable and just looking to be loved like I was with my husband.
Council: And so your thoughts would be: I am strong. I am a creator. I had a wonderful time with this person that was my husband and I want more of it. And so now I’ll create it. Now I’ll bring someone else in.
You are not lost. You are not a victim. You are now a creator. Think of what we just said, how the feeling is so much different from the way you think about your situation. Come from a place of power and know you can do this.
Momof3: But it’s difficult because I feel when I don’t listen to my heart and emotions, I feel anxious, unbalanced, and overwhelmed.
I’d love to know if I’ve already met the person I was told I’d eventually marry, and who it is, or his name.
Council: You have not finished creating yet.
Momof3: Or if that was something just made up.
Council: We ask you to focus. Do not go so much from what others tell you, but know yourself. We can say over and over again, you are the creator. Picture it. Feel the way you want your life to be. Picture yourself married again and having a wonderful life. See it. Every time you can, see it and feel it, and it has to come to you. But you must take this place of power and understanding of who you really are and make this happen, because you can.
Listen to the entire 17-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Momof3 and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of your blog pages.
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How Can I Divorce My Abusive Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, LovePeace.
LovePeace: I’ve been wanting a divorce from my abusive husband, but he’s reluctant to give it. He’s doing this on the premise of our son because he doesn’t want me to get married again. Can The Council please guide me how I can come out of this situation? Any suggestions will be welcome and appreciated.
Council: You can’t change the way your husband thinks or control the way he acts. The only thing that can make this change is if you create a life where you don’t interact with your husband as much as you do now. Start living your life as if you are single and without your husband. The more you can focus, and pretend, and find experiences you can have as if you’re single, you’ll start bringing this to you.
It’s always good to wish your husband happiness so he can move on, whether he can see that he’s created a new love interest, or that you’re serious about not wanting to stay with him. It’s up to you in your daily living to have less and less connection with your husband.
This is difficult when you co-parent, but even the littlest improvement, the littlest moving away, and in your mind you constantly think you’re moving forward to your new life, to a new partner if that’s what you want, to a new job, or to a new place to live. Go in that direction.
When you keep connecting, and thinking, and getting annoyed with what you don’t want, your attention to it will create this and give it more power. Take your thoughts and your imagination away from your husband and put it on you and the happiness you can imagine you create moving forward. Everything that’s created must be created in thought first.
LovePeace: I’d like to co-parent with my husband, but I don’t want him to be my husband because for almost 10 years our relationship has never been successful, and I don’t wish to continue living a lie anymore.
I also have a question about a suggestion The Council made for me in a past session. After moving to a different state I met a person during our company gathering. We haven’t talked a whole lot, but it seems there’s a connection between us. I’d like to ask The Council if my next partner will be from my current workplace, or will he manifest later at my potential next workplace?
Council: Enjoy this connection with this new person. Focus more and more on it. Create thoughts in your mind that you talk with this person more and more, that there’s a joy you experience with this person. That happiness and that feeling of pleasure will bring more of this to you. When you can get to a place of happiness, of excitement how your life is changing, and how you’re available to meet someone else, you’ll bring that in, whether you bring it in where you work now or if you change where you work.
If you love where you work and are happy about going there, it’s easier to create a partner that will fulfill what you want. It’s harder to create a partner that will come along in an environment where you don’t want to be there. If you’re not happy where you work, the first thing would be to create a new job in the environment that you like. Because of that environment, and it’s pleasing, and it makes you feel good, you’ll be able to create a partner that you wish to be with.
We send you all blessings, and all the wonderful thoughts that would help you, the positive thoughts and the feelings that come with them, and the love that’s within you that you can experience at any time when you focus on your heart and ask for signs of who you really are. And when you do this, you’ll experience more joy and more love in your life.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for LovePeace and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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What Can You Tell Me About The Tension In My Husband’s And Son’s Relationship?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Kristi, after she read our post, Why Don’t I Have A Good Relationship With My Mother?
Kristi: Great post on family dynamics. This raises a couple questions of my own that I’d like to ask The Council.
My husband and I have a great relationship and we’ve been married 20 years this November. My husband treats me like any woman would ever want to be treated, and I have almost no complaints in this department. I’m so very thankful for him.
We have one child together, a son who’s 18 years old. My husband’s and my son’s relationship is a strained one, unfortunately. My husband sets extremely high standards for our son, which are often unattainable. And even if they were attainable, my husband wouldn’t be happy then either. I feel like my son could wrangle the moon and my husband wouldn’t care.
When standards aren’t met, a child often feels like they’re not good enough and I see this playing out before me. My son is a sweet guy, very smart, and stays out of trouble, but he has low self-esteem.
My husband makes no attempt to foster a close relationship with our son. We all live together in the same house, but my husband and son can go without talking to each other for weeks at a time. And when they do talk to each other, it’s usually my husband telling my son what he hasn’t done properly.
Council: This is so wonderful. We have such advice for you. We see it so clearly.
Your husband and son were husband and son in a previous lifetime. In that lifetime they were wonderful together. Whatever your son did, your husband praised him. Everything was okay and everything went along beautifully.
At the end of that life, your son said to his dying father, “I wish I could have done more. I wish you would have pushed me more so that I could have given you more, and so that I could have become more in this lifetime.”
And so, in the wonderful past life they experienced together, both wished they had done more. Your son wished he’d become more. Your husband wished he didn’t settle for what your son was in that past life, and he wished he did push your son more.
So going back into spirit they asked each other if they wanted to try this again, but this time the son wanted the father to push him. The son wanted to become so much more in the new life they create. Whatever way the father can find to push the son, to get him to do more, to not settle, the son wants the father to do that with him.
That will be our lesson, to become more as a father and be even more proud of his son than he was. And the son wants to be important. He wants to feel that. He doesn’t want to feel there’s so much more he could have done. He wants to know there’s a strong father behind him that won’t let him settle.
And so your husband creates a family where there weren’t good role models for him to follow. He becomes a stern father who, out of love, whether he can admit that or not, isn’t going to settle for what your son does, no matter how good it is. He’ll ignore your son and not give him any confidence or any hurrahs for what he does. And this is your husband’s way of pushing your son to want his father’s attention, and to want more, and more, and more.
The most wonderful little book for you to read is, The Littlest Soul and the Sun, by Neale Donald Walsch, about two angels. One angel asks the other angel to come back into a new life, and if the first angel does something mean to the second angel, can the second angel still remember the first angel is a soul and forgive him. We suggest you read that book. That’s exactly what’s going on with your husband and your son.
They’re being tough with each other, but underneath they want so much more for each other. Your husband wants to leave this life thinking he was a wonderful father, and he pushed his son so much that, look what his son accomplished. And your son wants to think at the end of this life, my father never complimented me enough, he pushed me and pushed me, but I see it now, it was out of love because look at what I’ve become.
Bob: Is it a good idea for the son or the father to read, The Littlest Soul and the Sun, as well?
Council: They may not be open to it, but I’d leave the book around and see who gets drawn to it first and who reads it. It’s perfect for what’s going on, and it’s the wife’s job not to judge or step in because she can’t fix this. This is between your husband and your son. They’ll find a way. Their lessons and challenges in this reality is to find a way to come back to love. That’s the reason we’re all here, to come back to the state of love.
Bob: Was the father in this life the father in the past life, and the son in this life the son in the past life?
Council: Yes. And so they brought that role into their current life to work it through.
Kristi: I try to step in and talk to my husband about how difficult he’s being, but he doesn’t seem to understand where I’m coming from.
Council: Yes, he doesn’t understand, not at this time.
Kristi: He’s not abusive at all, but he doesn’t offer the love and acceptance a parent should provide.
Council: You provide love and acceptance to your husband and your son for the way they are. Always send them light so they can find a way to work out this challenge they wanted to go through in this lifetime, and they’ll find the path that will bring them to the state of love.
Kristi: My husband’s father was absent most of my husband’s life, so my husband didn’t have the best role model for parenting. Whereas I had the best father in the world and I only want the same thing for my son. I’d love for them to have a better relationship, but I understand this isn’t my battle. I’d love more insight into their dynamic, whether or not this was planned in spirit before coming to this Earthly plane, and why?
Council: It was definitely planned. And their higher selves know why they created this situation, what they’re trying to do, and will take them along their path until they understand and find a way to bring more love into their lives.
Kristi: Do you see my husband’s and son’s relationship getting better with time?
Council: It can always get better, but they are the creators. The best thing you can do is to accept what they create. They can create a change in a year if they want, or it could take 20 years. You must let them go through whatever it is they need to see, understand, and feel, and they’ll find a way.
Kristi: What can I do to help this situation?
Council: Send love, and have fun watching your husband’s and your son’s journey.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Kristi and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into any of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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How Will My Marriage To My Husband End?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Starfish, about her marriage.
Starfish: I have a question about how my marriage to my husband might end. In a previous post The Council informed me (writing under the name, Starseed_Lightworker rather than Starfish) that after I’ve moved to the new state where my new job has led me, I’ll meet another person who’ll be perfect for me and my son.
Council: We see this, but what you think and what you’re going through has changed from when you asked your question before compared to where you are now. You create on a minute-to-minute basis. The direction the relationship is going now is for it to end. It will end the way you and your husband decide it will end, but with the thinking, feeling, and experiences we see, it’s going in the direction of ending.
Starfish: My husband recently moved with me and my son to our new state in the hope we can stay together, but we’re going through the exact same drama we’ve been living for the last ten years.
Council: It’s wonderful you see this.
Starfish: We’re just not perfect for each other. I’ve also been told I’ll stay friends with my husband, which I prefer considering the co-parenting I’d like to do for my son.
Council: This would be a wonderful thing if that’s the direction you wish to go in. See this, focus on it, and on being friends, and being able to co-parent.
Starfish: I’ve been told my husband will live far from my son and me, and he’ll teach me lessons about independence.
Council: Are you learning independence already? We see it’s there in front of you – the moving away, raising your son by yourself, being able to make good decisions out of a desire to move forward rather than out of fear, and not being so tied into what your husband wants or how he wants it. It’s all about what you want, and how you feel independent in what you’re doing now.
Starfish: I’d like to ask if my husband is planning on moving to India when the marriage is over, or will he stay in the USA.
Council: The direction he’s going in right now is to stay in the USA, but how the relationship is handled and how you treat each other has the ability to change this. We ask you to remember what you think and what you do changes all the time. You can have things work out and have your husband stay in the USA, or you can have him move to India and have things work out, or you can have your husband move to India and have things not work out.
The way you create your life all comes from you., and we stress that you are the creator of your life. Look at this. What do you want? How do you want your life to be? Focus on this and meditate on it. Feel things working out the way you want. At this time it’s very important you do this work. It’s critical right now to take what you want and work with it every single day.
See how it is. Do you wish him to stay in the USA and for you to move on, meet someone else, and have a different life? Do you want your husband to stay in the USA, and still be friends, and co-parent? Do you want him to move to India and still co-parent? What do you want? You are the creator.
Starfish: Can The Council please guide me if the end of my marriage will be an extramarital affair from either side?
Council: We don’t see that. That can be created, but we don’t see that now.
Starfish: My husband threatens that he’ll take his life and my life if I end our marriage. I’d like to know if he can do this for real, or is he just using this threat as blackmail.
Council: He’s using this threat because he is in fear because he doesn’t think he can actually do this. Don’t feed this thought. Don’t walk around thinking all the time that he’ll kill himself, he’ll kill me, and he’ll kill my son. That kind of thinking only focuses more attention on the fear and brings what you don’t want to you. Think about this as a thought your husband had that isn’t working and that you won’t allow in your reality. Focus on the way you see this. It’s very important to let go of fear tactics, to stay in the light, and to think positive thoughts.
Starfish: I feel so alone and I’m trying to find strength and happiness in this situation.
Council: You’re never alone. There are guides, there are angels, and there are masters around you to help you. When you stay in the vibration of fear, you can’t receive the higher vibration information about how to move on in your life. That’s why we say not to focus on the fear tactics. Hear what you’re afraid of, let it go, and move on to the way you want it to be. You’ll lose the feeling of being alone, you’ll feel better about yourself, you’ll feel more in charge, and you’ll feel very happy.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Starfish and the rest of us. We apologize for the quality of this recording. You can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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I Feel My Marriage Won’t Let Me Move Forward With What I Want
This post answers some follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named, Angie. Angie previously asked The Council some questions which we answered in our post, Why Do I Feel So Drawn To This Man?
Angie: I do have another part to what I’d like to ask regarding my husband, Chris. First, I felt that I needed to get clarification on my connection to Brent (a co-worker – see previous post) as that has been weighing heavily on my mind. Is Brent aware of the kind of connection we share from other lifetimes and that we both pre-planned to come together in our current life to support each other? If not, how can I help him understand?
Council: He’s not aware of anything more than a friendship. If you want him to open up to more than that and question what you both have in this relationship, you’d have to visualize that, but allow him to be who he is. At this time we don’t advise you to push for Brent to be more than a friend. Be a good friend and companion to him. You can talk about things you have in common. You can make that apparent, but his growth and desire to learn more about you must come from him.
Angie: Although my husband and I have remained married for almost 24 years, I haven’t felt we were always aligned with each other. We’ve had our ups and downs, but something was missing between us. I don’t think we ever connected on the level I was looking for in a marriage.
Council: In this connection you’re looking for did you look at your husband from your heart? Did you look for loving things about him even when things are difficult? Do you connect by realizing your husband is also a spirit, and he has his challenges and feelings he needs to work through? Did you connect by appreciating your husband and looking for all the good things in your marriage? When you look for these things, you’ll find them.
Angie: In between our down times, Chris and I had many good years.
Council: That’s wonderful, and it’s good to think about and remember that.
Angie: But when I decided to go back to school, it was the most challenging time. It was challenging because I had to balance taking care of our two sons, focus on my studies, and try to have Chris understand that completing my degree was important to me and will bring success to our family.
Council: Do you know that you created all this and you both agreed to experience this challenge? Did you know you wanted to create this challenge to see if you could handle it so that you’d feel good about yourself? Did your husband agree to this challenge to learn to see you differently, or handle jealousy? There are different reasons this challenge was created, but because you both went through this, it’s something you both want to learn from.
Angie: The extra challenge was how Chris seemed upset with me for what I felt was being focused on my education. After all my hard work during a semester and taking my final exam one weekend, Chris accused me of being with someone else. It was the most hurtful thing to hear him say. There were other moments where I had to tell him I would continue to reach for my goals with or without him.
After I graduated and had a full-time job lined up, things smoothed out. Chris was happier and I thought I’d be happier along side him. I was happy for the next couple years. By this time both our sons were attending college and I was paying their tuition and room and board.
Council: We’d ask you to review what was going on that you were happy for a couple years. Take a good look at that and see what you created and what you went through. What was Chris going through?
Angie: I was able to provide my sons with financial support mostly because we didn’t have a mortgage. Things were going well for us. Chris and I decided to look into buying a new house, but it didn’t work out. I felt is wasn’t the right time. He kept pushing for us to buy a house. I still felt it wasn’t the right time and I explained to him, I’m paying quite a bit in tuition for our boys, including my own expenses and tuition loans. I wasn’t going to take on extra expenses that would come with buying a home. Instead of receiving his understanding, he reacted with a threat of divorce.
Council: In that do you realize you learned to make a boundary, and what you wanted to experience, and what you didn’t want to experience. Look at how you’ve grown, and how you were clear with what you wanted, and you were able to voice it.
Angie: Chris threatened divorce one other time. This was the turning point for me to focus on myself even more. I’m left wondering if our coming together was to have our children and provide for them up to the time they’d begin to create their own lives.
Council: That was part of what your lives are about.
Angie: I know I’ve had a lot of personal growth and I’ve noticed my husband seems to be stuck in the same place and not moving towards his goals as much. This has made it feel like we’re growing apart. Has our marriage run it’s course?
Council: It’s only run it’s course if you decide that’s what you want. If It’s what you want, you’ll create it to go in that direction. It’s really all up to you. That’s one of the great understandings we all need to learn when we create a reality. It’s all up to you.
Angie: I feel the urge to move forward with what I want and I don’t think I’ll be able to fully do this while I’m married to Chris. I do love and care for him very much, but I want to go toward what’s fulfilling and brings happiness.
Council: Meditate on this. Picture yourself going forward with your husband and picture your life without him. What feels better? You’ll always know by how it feels. Do you wish to stay in this marriage and work out the problems? Is this something you wish to create and grow from? Or is it time that you wish to be on your own?
There isn’t any wrong answer. You’ll experience what you need to experience. Your higher self, which is you, is in control and well aware of what you want to create in this life. The best thing is to remain calm, meditate, and visualize what you want.
And so we wish you all love, and light, and happiness, and gratitude on your path. Be supportive of one another and love yourself, as well as others in your life. And remember every single day, you’re all spirits in a physical body, and you’ll create whatever you focus on. Even if you focus on something negative, you’ll create that. We urge you to have positive thoughts, laugh as much as you can, have fun, remember the wonderful and happy memories, and stay in the positive.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Angie and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Why Do I Feel So Drawn to This Man?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Angie, who asks: Why do I feel so drawn to this man? I’ve been married for almost 24 years. For the last 10 years I’ve experienced a lot of personal growth educationally, careerwise, and how I take care of myself, but I’ve always been focused on my husband. One of my goals was to go back and finish my college degree. When I finally decided to do this, I knew it was the right time. Several years before I graduated I learned that this company opened an innovation center near where I live. The moment I saw the office building I knew I was going to work there.
Council: So you’re very in tune with your feelings, and following them always keeps you on the right path.
Angie: In my last year in college I applied for a job only at this company and they hired me. I started in June 2016. In August 2017 my company sent me to Michigan where I was introduced to our Development Team. There was this one individual on the team I became curious about and I wanted to know more about him. He wasn’t on my project and I didn’t talk to him. His name is, Brent, and he had my attention. I went back home and didn’t think much about him. Later I’d hear co-workers talking about Brent and I was all ears and wanted to know what they had to say about him. Why would I want to know about someone who’s 1,400 miles away and that I didn’t have a conversation with?
Council: Because you’re very in tune with your feelings, but at the time you didn’t understand why you felt that way. Your strong feelings are just your higher self telling you that you know Brent. Why would you be so interested in this person? You never met him before. It’s the familiar feeling you have and all the joy you had together with Brent in other lifetimes.
Angie: I did contact Brent for work-related questions, but that was the extent of our conversations. In 2018 I was assigned to a project that Brent was also assigned to. I only worked with him temporarily, and when we spoke it was only about the project. After a while I was moved to another project, so I didn’t speak with Brent too much after that. By 2019 I decided to focus more on myself. My husband has this pattern of saying things to me that don’t feel good. Some of his actions weren’t so good either. I felt it was time to redirect my focus towards what I need to do for myself and not worry about my husband as much. I decided to plan more time with my friends and do things I enjoy.
Later that year I got to work with Brent again. We were able to work together more than last time, which let us talk more. We started to get to know each other and we clicked. We realized how much we had in common. I started to feel like Brent was special to me. I wanted to know more about him, and I just wanted to continue talking with him. Was it meant for us to be put in each other’s paths?
Council: This was pre-planned.
Angie: I definitely looked forward to talking to him every time I was at work. He had me laughing, and the feeling was something I hadn’t had in a long time. All I wanted was to be with him and I couldn’t understand why. I was so drawn to him. I’ve never felt this way with anyone before. As we were getting to know each other I noticed there were many parallels with our lives. We were just on different timelines, and then we eventually caught up to each other.
Now it’s 2022 and I’ve been trying to understand my connection with Brent and all the emotions that come with this. I try not to talk to him, try not to want to be near him, and I feel I’m being torn apart. I definitely felt it in the middle of my chest. It’s become a regular feeling, even when I’m trying to complete tasks for work.
Council: So feeling uncomfortable here only tells you that you had pre-planned together to come into each other’s life to support each other and make life happy, especially if one or both of you were having problems in your personal life. It was a feeling of: Let’s get together. We’ll enjoy the time we spend together and we’d bring joy into each other’s lives. That’s what you’re feeling. That’s what you wanted. Yet now you’re trying not to speak with Brent. It would give you disturbing feelings because you’re not following what you wanted.
Angie: How can someone have such an effect on another person when all they’ve done is talk through work or on the phone?
Council: In other lifetimes you and Brent were married quite a few times. You were cousins in one lifetime. In one lifetime Brent was your teacher. You and Brent have a lot of time together. Because you had a lot of fun and happiness in other lifetimes, you thought you’d pop into each other’s life this time.
Angie: I want to try and understand the purpose of our relationship and what it means to have Brent in my life.
Council: You brought Brent into your life just to experience joy and just to have a good time when you’re together. That’s all that’s really necessary if that’s what you pre-planned. It would be good for you to appreciate that. Appreciate all the times you get together. Just flow with this and see what you create from that.
Angie: I truly feel that Brent and I were meant to meet since I’ve now taken on a more spiritual path and I’m learning to be more present. If this is true, I just want to make sure I approach the situation appropriately and in the best way possible.
Council: It’s true that you did plan to meet. You planned to have a supportive relationship, to learn about each other, to help each other at work, and then personally. Just let this grow. That’s the way the two of you planned it, to come into each other’s life to see where you were at that time in your lives, and to take it from there. We say just enjoy this.
Bob: Angie doesn’t specifically ask about her relationship with her husband, but I’m wondering if you have any comments on that relationship.
Council: Not unless Angie asks. We’d say here for you, Bob, we answered the questions that Angie wrote, and even though you may be curious, or think Angie may want to know more, we’ll follow what she asks.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their gidance for Angie and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Should I Stay Married to My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Starseed_Lightworker, who says, I’m at a crossroads in my life and I’d appreciate your guidance in the decision I want to make. My husband and I have had various issues since the beginning of our marriage and it’s been ten years now. I was in an abusive relationship for a long time, and then I decided to love myself and be self-dependent. I was in such a miserable situation earlier in my life that I felt like committing suicide a couple of times during that phase, but my love for my young child kept me alive. By hard work and the grace of God I’m now in a position to take care of myself and my child. The thing is that my husband seems to have changed during the last three years, but I can’t forget what he and his family did to me earlier.
The Council asks you to remember that your husband is on his own journey, and there are challenges and issues that he wishes to learn about, even though you don’t know what this is. We think it’s wonderful that you’ve begun to see the change in your husband. And it’s wonderful that you’ve gone ahead and become what you planned in spirit to become in this life, which was to be powerful, independent, and to do it all yourself and not need another person to do things for you. You don’t have to suffer through abuse or the fear of abandonment. You’ve changed your path and in your lifetime you’ve created the path you wanted to find.
Starseed says, Going forward my plan is to keep doing better work in the office and study part-time in a university while doing work to support myself and my child. Eventually when my child grows up I plan to retire, travel, and do more spiritual and teaching work. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone for money, happiness, and taking care of me. I want to do it all myself. The Council says they see you’re already on this path.
Starseed says, I’ve begun to find solace in loneliness now. The Council says you’re beginning to find solace with yourself, not with loneliness. There’s quite a difference.
Starseed says, I have a very good job opportunity in a different state. It’s remote work right now, but I can move there if I want, which would be a fresh start for me and my child and a different way of living life. The Council says this was also something you wanted to create. You wanted to create travel, have the ability to move around, and be successful wherever you are. Look at what you’ve done. You’ve already brought this opportunity into your life.
Starseed says, The difficult decision I need to make is, should I continue staying with my husband for the sake of my child having a father. Or should I move on and build a new life for myself and my child? At the current moment I like my husband as a friend since he’s changed from his abusive patterns, but I’ve lost the love.
The Council says, Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to remain friends, but not be together as partners? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a friend that lives nowhere near you, but you can communicate in whatever way you wish and whatever time you want? We see what you’ve planned and you’ve planned to move on. We see there’s great success in your future if you stay on the path you wanted to create for yourself, and we see you’re doing a wonderful job of this. You’ll have another love in your life if you wish to not stay with your husband.
You’ve done so much and taken yourself so far. Would you hold yourself back now when you have the opportunity to move on? And as you move on, the work you do will change and your career will change. You have the opportunity if you really want this. If you’re afraid to leave right now, you can leave in the future. We see this is there for you. It’s what you’ve created. But we’d ask you, why would you come so far and hold yourself back? There’s no wrong answer. You will move forward. You’ll decide when. You have the power to make this move happen when you’re ready, and this is a beautiful thing.
Starseed says, I don’t know whether I can love my husband again considering the history. At the same time, I’m also not sure if there will be love for me outside of this marriage. Can The Council please guide me and provide some input. The Council says they are so happy for you. It’s hard for some people after they leave the spirit world. They have all these plans and one thing or another gets in the way. Or their plans change, which is fine. But you have created so much of what you wanted, of what you planned when you were in spirit. You’re a powerful soul. You’ll go forward in this life, whether it’s right now or five years from now.
You are right on track. You’re doing exactly what you wanted to do, and that’s a wonderful thing. We here are so happy for you. We’re proud that you’ve stayed on the path. We know it wasn’t easy, but you took your situation and changed it. Love yourself. Hug yourself. Kiss the mirror as you look at yourself. You’ve come a long way and we wish you much happiness and speed on your journey.
Stay friends with your husband, if that’s possible. Know that when you’re ready and when you want it, you’ll bring in another person to love. If you stay on your path, whether you go now or later, there’s another love and a successful future waiting for you. As much as you can, create in your mind how you think your life would be when you move on. Imagine where you want to live, how you want to work, and how you’d like to spend your free time. The more you focus on these things, the more you’ll know when it’s time to do what you want to do. The choice is always yours.
If you’re afraid at this moment, or you choose to stay and six months, a year, two years, three years later, you don’t like that you stayed, there’s no problem. Then you make another decision and change what you do. Go in the direction you want. Whether you go now or later it doesn’t matter. You are the creator. And while you’re trying to decide, imagine in every detail you can, the way you wish your life to be and all your answers will come.
We wish you all happiness, success, and most of all love and joy. Find the fun and joy on your path. If you feel you don’t have it, head towards it, imagine it, and know you are the creator. What you think of, what you say, what you write, what you visualize over and over is how you’re planning your future.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Starseed_Lightworker and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. And you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Should I Give This Man Who’s Come Back In My Life A Second Chance?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Eva. She says, After one year without any contact, this man who The Council told me (in a previous session) was my son in a previous life, has come back into my current life. He’s a father now, but he claims he can’t be with his wife and he’s asked me for a second chance. My common sense is stopping me from getting involved with him again. I’m not really happy in my marriage, but I haven’t made a decision to get a divorce.
The Council says if you’re thinking this person would be the answer to finding happiness, we would say this isn’t the way to find it. This man won’t bring you a deeper and truer relationship than what you have with your husband. Find ways to feel good about yourself.
If there’s no rush for a divorce from your husband, there’s a reason for this. Pay attention to this and look for the goodness you can find in your marriage. Be grateful. As you look for this gratitude, more will appear in your life. You’ll still be able to make the choice in the future whether to leave the marriage or not. Being with the other man isn’t the answer to what you’re trying to achieve.
Eva says, I’m always trying to do the right thing for everyone. The Council says it’s time to do the right thing for yourself. Eva asks if The Council has any advice on how she should move on. The Council advises meditation. If you can’t meditate, just sit quietly for ten minutes and see what thoughts come to you and what direction it takes you in. It’s the quieting down of your mind that will give you a stronger direction and answers to your questions.
Now is the time to focus on what you’d like your life to look like. The more you can focus on this while being grateful for what you already have, the universe will deliver more loving and happy situations to you. Meditate. Do chakra breathing to align yourself and you’ll see your life get more clarity. Ideas will come to you through your intuition, which you’ll immediately know are the right directions for you.
Eva says, I’d really like to help this man with his little girl. I’d really love to be part of his life, but at the same time I don’t want to hurt anybody. The Council asks Eva, Can you seriously think about being in this man’s life and helping him with his daughter, and not being pulled into trying to make that relationship what’s missing in the relationship you have with your husband?
If you truly want a relationship with this man, we say take your time about it and focus on the way you want this relationship to be. But there’s a lot you need to look at now in your life with your husband. Look at it, learn from it, find the gratefulness, find the love, and then create with your mind what you want your life to be like. Your marriage was something that was preplanned in spirit and you need to focus on this first.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Eva and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Or you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Why Don’t I Have a Best Friend or a Partner?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Diana, who says she’s struggled with deep loneliness most of her life. I have good friends, but I’ve always craved a best friend who’s always there and I can trust 100% for support. I’m 46 years old and single, and I’d also love to have a partner or a husband. Is there something I’m doing wrong?
The Council suggests instead of focusing on not having a best friend, look at your situation differently. If you have many friends, they can all be a best friend. There’s always something in each person that will make you feel close to them. You’re lucky to have many friends. If you had one best friend and they moved away, you’d have nothing.
Be grateful you have these best friends. The more you can focus on being grateful you have them, one of them will become the way you want a best friend to be. Or you’ll meet someone new and you’ll bring this person in and they’ll act the way you want a best friend to be. Be more grateful for the friends you have. The more grateful you feel, the more you’ll be able to bring your life closer to the way you want it to be. By focusing on not having a best friend you’re attracting more of not having a best friend into your life.
Diana says, I’ve been attracting the wrong people. What can I do to change this? The Council says to appreciate your friends. They’re not the wrong people. They are spirits that have come into your life to teach you to learn about each one of them, and to teach you to be grateful and feel happiness they’re in your life. When you do that it forces you to grow. It allows you to bring people in your life or new people to a point where you can allow closeness. This is with friends, people at work, and with a relationship.
If you can’t be grateful for the friends you have, you’ll never bring in the right partner because you’re searching. You’re searching for a best friend. You’re searching for closeness. And this searching prevents closeness from coming. When you’re satisfied and grateful for what you have, your friends become closer and the partner you want will appear. It’s all from your gratitude.
Diana asks, Will I find my tribe and husband one day. The Council says it’s all there for you. Change your thinking and it will happen. She asks, Should I move locations and start a new life, or is that just escaping my issues? The Council says your issues will follow you wherever you go. If there’s somewhere you’d genuinely like to move to and have a new start, that would be fine. But if your thinking doesn’t change, if you’re not grateful for what you have, what you want won’t come to you because you’re resisting it with your thoughts and you’ll stay searching.
Diana closes by saying the loneliness is really affecting my mental health and I’d be grateful for your advice. The Council says don’t focus on your loneliness even though you’re feeling lonely. Begin changing your thoughts. Get excited about new friendships and a new partner in your life. Imagine how it will be in every way you can and in every detail. Keep thinking these thoughts and everything will change.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Diana and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question by typing it in a Comment box that appears at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Does My Dead Husband Want to Continue Our Marriage?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, AlwaysMrs, who asks if her husband wants to continue their marriage. As you read this post you’ll understand AlwaysMrs’ husband recently passed away, but her question doesn’t make that quite clear.
After commenting that they know AlwaysMrs’ husband has passed away, The Council says when you’re in spirit you’re feeling love for the person you were married to and all the people you were married to in all your lifetimes. This love never goes away. You might say we’re all partners and we’re all married to each other. We’re all connected. In spirit your husband is still connected to you. It’s not the same as if he was here in physical reality, but the love and the connection you shared are still there.
AlwaysMrs says, I’ve received mixed messages where sometimes the message is: Yes, he’ll forever be my husband. He’ll do everything in his power to be what I need and want. I don’t need to find someone else and he doesn’t want me to be with someone else.
The Council says when you’re in spirit you’d never wish a person to be alone and not find and experience love again. It’s all part of the journey. Your husband would love you to move on. He wants you to remember him and remember the love you shared, but now move forward in your life with all the other experiences you want to live through while you’re still in a human reality. A spirit would always want you to love someone else and to move on.
AlwaysMrs says others give general messages like: He wants you to move on and be happy, alluding to finding another person to love. The Council says when you think of him you’ll still feel the love he sends to you. And that’s to help you do whatever the next step is in your life that you want to do.
AlwaysMrs says, I want to continue our marriage and strengthen our connection as he lives on. The Council says he lives on in spirit. You are still in a physical reality. You can strengthen your connection by meditating, by speaking to your husband every day, and imagining him walking through life with you, but that doesn’t open you up to creating others in your physical reality.
AlwaysMrs says, Because I can’t directly hear from my husband and have to rely on mediums, I don’t know how he feels right now. The Council says please don’t rely on mediums or anyone else. Meditate. Connect with the spirit of your husband. Talk to him and you’ll get the answers you need. If you don’t hear these answers in words, you’ll just know the answer to a question. You’ll know what’s the next step to take. Answers come differently when they come from spirit.
AlwaysMrs says she wants to know if her husband wants to continue the marriage the way she does and if he’ll try to make our marriage work with me until we’re together again. The Council says your husband wishes you to be happy. You’ve chosen to experience things in a physical reality and that means meeting other people, having other experiences, and moving on with your life. There’s nothing your husband is able to do in the spirit world that will keep the two of you married. He’ll send you love and he’ll cheer you on to move forward with any other relationships in any way you wish to go in your physical reality.
Focus on your life in your physical reality. You won’t lose your connection with your husband. What your higher self planned with your husband and what he wants for you now is to move on and live your life. There are other things you planned, even though you don’t know what that is at this time. It’s good to stay connected to your husband, to love him, to remember the love you shared with him, but focus on the here and now. There are other things you wish to do.
AlwaysMrs says, I don’t want to pursue a relationship he doesn’t want anymore. I know how my husband felt before, but obviously things have changed and I need to know how he feels now. The Council says when you’re in spirit you perceive things differently. Where he is you wouldn’t say, I don’t want to pursue this relationship because my husband doesn’t want it anymore. Where he is you’re always connected.
AlwaysMrs says, I still need to know how my husband feels and how we move forward as still married or not. The Council says you appreciate the life you had in your physical reality. You feel the love you had. You connect with your husband on another level by meditating and know you’re connected. The love that’s there is there for you now to help you create the different experiences you want to have in the future.
The Council closes by saying only love is real. When you go into spirit you take this love with you. When you’re in spirit and you come into a physical reality you take this love with you again. That’s what we’re all about.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for AlwaysMrs and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or you can ask The Council your own question by writing it in a Comment box at the bottom of most blog pages.
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Will Meditation Help Reduce the Risk of Heart Attack?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, LovePeace, who asks about her husband’s health. He has high triglycerides and given the history of heart attacks in his family, I’m worried about him. Other than medicines and the diet the doctor is suggesting, can The Council let me know if he can do any meditation to help him with his condition.
The Council says your husband will benefit from the chakra breathing meditation they’ve recommended in the past. When he gets to the heart chakra, visualize the green energy in his heart center going up to his shoulders, down his arms, and into his hands and fingers. This will bring energy to his heart, it will keep it calm, and it will open pathways. Taking the vitamin supplement, Lecithin, will help him clear a lot of blockages in his arteries.
LovePeace says since physical pains are associated with spiritual aspects, what is the spiritual reason my husband has developed this physical problem and what are the issues his higher self is trying to address with this disease?
The Council says spiritual advancement doesn’t need to be associated with pain and suffering. Pain and suffering is just something you choose to learn from, to help another person through, or for you to change your perspective on it. You can have a life of wonderful health, joy, abundance, and still grow.
Listen to the entire 3-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for LovePeace and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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Why Am I With My Husband Rather Than the Love of My Life?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused, who says her soulmate (who’s the love of her life) lives in another country and I’m unable to be with him. I don’t understand why I’d choose this separation when there’s no one I’d rather be with and would have been ecstatic to spend my life with him.
The Council says you planned in spirit to experience the feeling of having this love of your life, and then be given a chance to work through this to see there’s not just one soul you can have this kind of relationship with. You planned to let go of the belief you can have only one love. There are many souls that will come in and out of your life. If you allow it to happen, there’s another person that will come into your life and fill this loving role.
You want to see there’s always a way to change what you’re going through. There’s always a way to create love in your life in any way you need it. Work through this belief you have only one love and you’re life is stuck because you can’t be with this person. Release these unhappy thoughts there isn’t any joy in your life or other love for you. You created this situation to experience the change you’re able to make in your life if you’re open to it.
Confused says she’s married, but I have little in common with my husband, and I don’t want to break up my family. The Council says you don’t always need a lot in common with your spouse. You’re together to see what you have in common and what you don’t have in common, to see what this other soul is like and what he’s capable of. Are you willing to help your husband advance in this lifetime? Are you willing to show love to your husband and allow yourself to feel the love in return? That’s your purpose for being together.
Bob asks if Confused can have a loving relationship with her husband similar to the love of her life. The Council says if you go through life thinking your soulmate is far away, I can’t be with him, I have to settle for something less, then how you see your life and your beliefs about your relationships would never allow this to happen.
The Council says they don’t know what Confused is going to create as she goes through this lifetime. It was spiritually planned to be married to her husband and maybe not see her marriage as the love of her life. But when she understands it’s not possible to be with her love, can she have the faith and trust to let him go and give her husband a chance. Or if that isn’t possible because of Confused’s beliefs, then she can create something new. Variety is an important aspect of learning how to create. You aren’t stuck here in an unhappy marriage. With your thoughts and beliefs it’s possible to change what you think a marriage is into something you’d like it to be.
The Council says Confused chose both to be with her husband and to experience the man in the foreign country as the love of her life even though she couldn’t be with him.
Confused says she wants to share her next life with her true love without any complications. The Council says if you want to create a new life with this man you feel is the love of your current life, and if that soul is open to this, you’ll create it.
The Council says Confused’s purpose in her current life is to be in her marriage where she doesn’t feel her husband is the love of her life. The purpose is to look differently at your husband and see what this soul is really all about. Give this person a chance to grow. Be there for your husband.
The purpose you chose for this lifetime was to meet one person who you believe is the love of your life, but to have a husband who’s already in your life, and see just how wonderful your marriage can be if you give it a chance and see your husband differently. Feel gratitude for having your husband in your life. Realize you’ve chosen this, whether you believe it or not, or whether you think it makes you happy or not.
How can you send love to your husband? How can you change the way you feel about your husband by looking at him through the eyes of love? You are souls that have come together to experience this life together and see where that takes you.
Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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How Do I Let Go of a Decades Old Memory?
This post answers a question from a reader named, Pam, who read one of our other posts titled, What Past Life is Affecting My Current Life, and Why? where a reader named, Darla, says she experienced a past life as a child who was crippled. The Council said Darla remembered this past life because in her current life she wants to understand how people cope with disabilities, and she wants to experience how these disabilities can be changed by consciously reaching for better feeling thoughts. That post prompted Pam, to write the following comment:Ah, I know all this too well. My husband has multiple sclerosis and walks with a walker and it stirs up difficult feelings for me who saw my uncle suffering greatly from MS when I was only 5 years old. I think that vision of him lying in bed shaking and having to be fed by his wife has stayed with me all my life. Thanks for this post, Cynthia and Bob.Cynthia and I replied to Pam’s comment saying The Council might suggest finding ways of letting go of that vision of your uncle and trying to see him in a more positive light because The Council says you attract into your life what you think about. And this prompted Pam’s question:
Interesting. How do I undo a memory from decades ago?😩We thought this was an excellent question for The Council and this is what the rest of this post is about.
After we read The Council Pam’s comment about her husband, they asked Pam: Don’t you find it interesting that something you found so upsetting as a child, you created in your life as an adult? The Council says when Pam has an uncomfortable memory of her uncle, it’s to her benefit not to think of how horrible that was. Instead she can switch her focus to him being grateful to have someone who was there to feed him and take care of him. When you look at this situation and find things to be thankful for, you create a different (and better) outcome in your life. The Council says Pam expects to experience the same thing with her husband as her aunt experienced with her uncle on the path she’s going down currently. By believing and imagining this you’ll create this experience. Can you change your focus? Can you make a change where you don’t see your husband getting that bad and going down a path where he has to be fed? Your husband can live the kind of life that you create in your reality with your thoughts. You have the power to make his journey easier in your lifetime. What you create with your thoughts you will experience. The Council says this is very advanced knowledge to understand what they’re saying here. In Pam’s lifetime her husband could get better. There could be a miracle. His multiple sclerosis could slow down. He can live a full life. Part of your husband’s soul will go along with what you create with your thoughts. Yet there’s another part of his soul that creates in his life what his soul needs to experience. The Council says Pam won’t know what this is. Instead you’ll be experiencing what you believe and are focusing on. The part of your husband’s soul that needs to experience whatever it needs to experience, whether it’s something similar to what you’re creating or something much more difficult, he’ll create this in his own reality. The Council says we live in many different realities at the same time because we want to experience things in many different ways. The person next to you is functioning in your reality the way you’re creating it. But there’s another part of you that will create this situation a different way and you’ll play a different role in that reality. The Council repeats it’s advanced understanding that it isn’t just you in this one life. You’re experiencing things from the past and from the future. You’re learning your lessons and having your experiences, but all you’re aware of right now is what you’re creating and focusing on. The Council says you’ll only experience what you believe. In Pam’s possible reality her husband isn’t getting worse and she won’t experience that because that’s not what she’s focusing her attention on. Her husband may focus on what Pam is focusing on, but if there’s a part that needs to learn differently, that will go on in another reality and Pam will play a different role in that reality. The Council suggests sitting with these thoughts and trying to feel what they would be like. This is advanced learning. Pam should focus on things with her husband she can feel grateful for and seeing him getting better or staying the same and having a comfortable life as much as possible. See him the way you want him to be and focus on how you’d like to feel as your husband gets better or is holding his own. Is it possible for Pam to create a miracle and her husband be free from MS? The Council says, Yes. What Pam saw as a child with her uncle triggered what she brought in with her husband so she could learn from it. The Council often says our main purpose is to bring love into each situation. When you experience something like what Pam experienced as a child, the memory isn’t going away because your soul wants you to go into this experience and change it. Bring love and well-being into this situation with your husband. Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Pam and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question. If you like this post, please consider clicking the LIKE button in the section after the recording to let us and other readers know. Thanks
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Should My Son and I Leave My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, SoulSeekingNirvana, who says she’s had issues with her husband in the past and they’ve remained together in spite of these issues. Currently he’s changed from his past behavior, but SoulSeekingNirvana can’t seem to forget when she needed him the most and his behavior was the worst at those times.
The Council says there’s a problem when SoulSeekingNirvana can’t forgive her husband and let go of these issues. And they ask how she can move on from that?
SoulSeekingNirvana says she’s been thinking about living independently with her son for some time now, but she’s worried about her son not having his father around. She sees two options. One is to continue living the way she does now and try to forget the past. The other is to live with her son separated from her husband.
The Council asks SoulSeekingNirvana if she can stay with her husband and not focus on how he wasn’t there for her. Can you focus on staying with your husband, making things more pleasant, and your son will have his father. Can you be loving and compassionate with your husband? Can you be caring for this man?
If you’re unable to do this, your son will always feel the disharmony between you and your husband. If you think you’re staying with your husband because of your son, and there’s fighting or negative feelings in your relationship, this isn’t a good solution and it’s time for you to move on. Your son will learn different lessons without a father.
As the creator of what goes on in your life, what do you want? Do you want to stay with your husband or do you want to be independent and live with your son without your husband? This is the question you need to ask yourself.
The Council says when you come into this reality and create challenges in your lives to grow from, it’s all about your ability to repeatedly experience forgiveness and show love. When you look at your husband, know he’s a spirit who’s come into this reality to learn lessons. Can you send love to your husband, one spirit to another, and help each other overcome the issues in your marriage? Can you have a nice relationship? If you’re going to continue being angry with your husband and go over and over how he wasn’t there for you, you’re not moving in the right direction.
SoulSeekingNirvana closed by asking if she decides to leave her husband, should she live alone or with her parents who can help with her son? The Council asks how the relationship is with her parents. Is it a safe, happy environment? If you don’t like your parents and your quarrel with them, you’re putting yourself and your son in a bad environment. If you need to be on your own, how do you see this? Can you create a loving relationship between you and your son?
The Council says coming into this reality with these choices, you’re looking for a way to get to a higher vibration. Not forgiving your husband doesn’t get you to this higher vibration. Forgiving, trying again if you can, and loving your husband, your son, or your parents will get you to this higher vibration.
Don’t ever blame your decision on whether to leave your husband on your son. This is your choice. You’re the one who has put yourself in the position to learn and grow more. Your son should be free from blame. He is a spirit who agreed to be part of your experience and help you grow. And we grow by showing love and compassion.
The Council closes by saying SoulSeekingNirvana’s husband has his own lessons to learn, but they believe he’ll make progress in the area of showing love, but the choice is his. Where he is on his path now, he’s headed in this direction.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for SoulSeekingNirvana and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own unrelated question.
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Questions About an Abusive Separated Husband
This post answers questions from a reader named, Jolanda, who says 18 months ago she ended an 8 year relationship with her verbally and emotionally abusive husband, but because they have a child together they communicate almost daily, which gives him opportunities to manipulate her emotions.
The Council doesn’t think it’s necessary to have contact with your husband almost daily. It’s something you need, but your husband doesn’t. Is this because you don’t want to let go of your husband? If this relationship is hurtful, why would you want to stay in it? You can co-parent a child without having daily communication with your spouse.
One of the lessons you’ve created for yourself in this lifetime is protecting yourself and learning how to make boundaries. The Council says they don’t see this boundary-making happening. There’s no need to punish yourself. If you can begin setting these boundaries you’ll feel a little more powerful and you’ll allow the relief and healing to come into your life.
The Council says they don’t see a reconciliation with the husband occurring at this time. Recognize him as a spirit on his own path and learning his own lessons. You feel the love for him because you recognize him as a spirit. Wherever he is on his path, you can love him and let him go, and make the boundary to protect yourself, and change your life to a more powerful and peaceful one.
Jolanda says she and her husband agreed a few weeks ago they weren’t getting back together and she feels betrayed that he’s apparently moved on with a new girlfriend. The Council asks Jolanda to find the energy to understand this agreement between the two of them. And if he changes his mind and says he wants to be with her again, can she make the boundary and say, “No. Enough. I can’t be in this type of relationship.” Instead of waiting to see where your husband is in this relationship, make your own boundaries. Think about how you’ll move forward and how you can get free from this relationship and find the happiness you wish for?
Jolanda says she’s pining for the love she had with her husband and wishing for someone else to love, but feels like she’ll never love anyone but her husband. The Council says the love she and her husband had isn’t there right now because there are lessons Jolanda needs to learn. Wishing for someone else to love is a wonderful direction to go in. Focus on this. What kind of person do you want in your life, down to every detail you can think of? And be ready to let this relationship in? When you can focus more on the new person you want in your life, things will change in this direction.
Jolanda says she feels her marriage was a divine bond and that she and her husband are deeply connected at a soul level. The Council says of course there’s a soul connection. This relationship was all agreed to in spirit so you could discover the role of independence, the role of boundaries in your life, the role of speaking up for yourself, and the role of learning how to protect yourself.
The Council closes by telling Jolanda: When you begin to love yourself enough to protect yourself; when your begin to believe there’s another way, and there’s more for you, and the soul who is your husband needs to go on with his lessons; when you begin to focus in a whole new direction on what you truly want in your life; The Council promises Jolanda her life will begin to change for the better.
Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
If you like this session, please consider clicking the Like button in the section below the recording to let us and our other readers know. Thanks.
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Should I Stay In My Marriage or Leave with My Child?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name SoulPeace, who says she needs to choose between staying in a marriage that isn’t working out well and trying to make it better, or walk out of the marriage with their child.
The Council asks SoulPeace what part they’re playing in this marriage? Is she adding to the difficulties that are coming up? When you step back and look at this relationship the major question is, why isn’t the marriage working? What do you need from this marriage and what are you bringing to it? Do you feel the love you felt in the beginning of this relationship?
The choice is always yours whether to leave the marriage or stay with it, but the work must begin within you first. Look at what you have without blame, then try to decide what you’d like your marriage to look like. If you can focus on the marriage working and be open to the positive changes, then you can make this marriage work. As you begin to change how you treat your husband, how you speak to him, and how you appreciate the little things he might do, The Council says you can stay in this marriage lovingly.
SoulPeace says she’s always been scared of living on her own and taking on all the responsibilities of caring for their child. She doesn’t feel the love for her husband the last few years. The Council asks if she’s able to partner with him in bringing up their child? Are they able to get together and have fun with this child so it has a more loving life? When you’re able to come together and take the focus off what the other person is doing wrong and you’re in the vibration of love and joy even though the focus is your child, you have the ability to make the marriage better.
SoulPeace says she feels like she’s with her husband because it’s the more traditional option and she’s scared to live on her own. She finds it difficult to forget the things that happened in the past. The Council reminds SoulPeace that it’s a choice to take the focus off the past. When do you let go of this? When do you begin looking forward instead of backward? Have you learned from the mistakes you’ve made? What have you done to prevent these mistakes from continuing? If you decide to stay in this marriage, but continue with blaming your husband and stay in the vibration of anger and hurt, you won’t be able to change your future so you have a happy life.
If you decide you want to save your marriage, try thinking the reason you’ve gone through the dissatisfaction in your marriage is that you and your husband agreed to come to this point and then ask yourself if you can turn your marriage around. If you decide to leave, what are the steps you’d take to support your child and live on your own just the two of you? See this how you want it to be rather than out of fear. Visualize how leaving could work for you.
SoulPeace says she feels like she’s coming back to the same point in the relationship over and over. She’d like closure to this and to move ahead in any direction which is best for her and her child. The Council asks SoulPeace if she’s truly looking for closure or does she want to fix the marriage?
To start closure The Council suggests SoulPeace imagine where she and her child would go and how you’d live. If you want to change your marriage for the better The Council suggests letting go of the past. Maybe your husband doesn’t know how to undo what was done or fix the marriage, but perhaps you can discuss moving forward. Can you leave the past in the past?
Discuss how you’d like your marriage to be. What does your husband want the marriage to be like going forward? When memories come of what your husband did or didn’t do in your marriage that hurt you, acknowledge the hurt and then say goodbye to those thoughts. After a while those thoughts won’t come as frequently. Yes these things happened, but now you have an opportunity to create the future differently. You have the power to refocus on a happier thought and create the life you desire.
The Council closes by saying SoulPeace has a lot of work to do and a wonderful journey in whichever direction she chooses.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for SoulPeace and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel about it.
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Finding a Loving and Financially Secure Husband
This post is inspired by questions from a reader named Diana, who says she’d love to meet her soulmate husband soon and she asks if The Council has any insights on this and if there’s anything she can do to speed up the process.
The Council asks Diana what she’s thinking about to create this marriage in her life. They encourage her to think more about what she will bring to the relationship and not so much about what her husband will bring. As she begins to focus on herself and what makes her happy, she’ll begin to attract that in another person.
Diana asks if The Council is able to see her future husband and The Council says it’s her beliefs and what she focuses on that will pick the husband that she calls in with her thoughts and feelings. They say there are perhaps 10 different men that can come into Diana’s life, and as she focuses on what she wants and what she brings to the relationship, she will draw the most appropriate husband to her.
Diana says she struggles with issues of lack and poverty and she’d like to meet someone who doesn’t have these struggles. The Council says as she struggles with these issues she’ll bring in someone she’s attracted to, but he’ll have similar issues. That is why it’s very important to work on herself and her thoughts first.
If Diana’s thoughts are on lack and poverty it is unlikely she’ll be able to attract someone who’s wealthy. She can change her thoughts to: her abundance is growing and she’s ready to receive more in her life. She is a spirit in a physical body. There is abundance all around her, she just has to claim it with her thoughts.
Listen to our 7-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all The Council’s guidance for Diana and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.
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Having More Positive Thoughts After My Abortion?
This post is inspired by a follow-up question from a reader named Michelle, who was advised by The Council to think better feeling thoughts after she terminated a pregnancy and she’s asking for help with this.
The Council advises Michelle to concentrate on who she is as a spiritual being and to think about the direction she’d like her life to go in right now. They ask if she feels secure about not having any more children, which they feel is a decision made by Michelle’s husband.
The Council advises Michelle not to feel guilty because she had an abortion. This abortion was pre-planned in spirit by her and the soul of the child she aborted, and she and the child have fulfilled what they wished to experience.
The Council asks what Michelle has learned from this abortion. Does she wish to get pregnant again and have another child? They tell Michelle only she can make this decision.
The Council says the aborted pregnancy was a wake up call for Michelle to take control of what she wants and not do what other people want her to do. It’s about changing her path and waking up to what she wants in her life. This is how her higher self planned to bring her to this point and then move her forward.
The Council advises Michelle to every now and then gently bring up the idea with her husband that the thought of having another child makes her feel happy. How she speaks about this can make her husband more open to having another child. The Council also recommends doing the inner work of seeing things the way she wants them to be and imagine it’s already happening, because it is happening in another reality. They advise Michelle to bring this reality to her with her thoughts and feelings.
The Council advises Michelle to let go of any guilty feeling about terminating her earlier pregnancy. As she stays in the vibration of guilt and sadness she cannot create the joy she wants. They say to go into the vibration of joy by thinking of good memories and fantasizing a very happy future. As she feels her mood begin to feel more positive, that’s when she’s able to create what she wants.
The Council says Michelle’s husband is possibly influenced not to have another child by his elderly mother living with them and perhaps when his mother passes, his mind would begin to change.
The Council says the soul of Michelle’s aborted child would like to see Michelle change her life and begin to think about what she would like her life to be like going forward. This is the reason for the abortion.
Listen to our entire 10-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Michelle and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.
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Getting Along Better With My Husband and In-laws?
This post is a follow up that was inspired by some additional questions from a reader named Vacha, whose question about guilt over terminating a pregnancy we recently answered. Now Vacha is asking about moving back to India where her parents live, and how to get along better with her husband and in-laws.
The Council understands that Vacha has issues with her in-laws in India and they recommend putting the move on hold for now. Vacha has issues with her husband, things to discover within this relationship, and things to teach her son while she’s with her husband. If she’s able to work out her issues with her husband before this move back to India, she’ll be able to work out the issues with her in-laws when this move eventually takes place.
Watch what’s going on in the relationship with her husband and see each problem in the light of what it’s trying to teach both of them.
The Council reminds Vacha it’s not her place to have her family get along. Her purpose is to see what’s happening, change the way she handles each situation, see things the way she wants it to be from a place of love, and everything will change. Her parents, her in-laws, and her husband will all change because they’re around her and she’s creating a new reality with her mind, her words, and her feelings.
Vacha asks The Council what spiritual lesson she’s learning with regard to her husband, mother-in-law, and other family members? And The Council says her purpose is to take difficult situations and bring love into them.
Vacha has a powerful mind if she chooses to use it. She can use her thoughts and feelings to create what she desires. The Council recommends spending a lot of time seeing herself with her son and husband in happy and successful situations.
Vacha wants to understand other people’s feelings and fears, and help these people move through them. She should watch the people around her and she’ll begin to see what they need and what causes the difficulty in her relationships with them.
Listen to our entire session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Vacha and the rest of us.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
Ask The Council a Question
If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
Finding Your Way Around the Blog
Home Page
The left-hand column on the Home page contain a long chronological series of posts with the most recent on top. Each post begins with a title. Clicking on a post title will take you to a blog page dedicated to that particular post. Following each post is a Like button where you can indicate to us and other readers if you like the post.
The footer section of each post identifies the date the post was published, the Categories the post has been assigned to, the keyword/keyphrase Tags assigned to the post, and a Comment link. If readers comments on a post, the Comments link will indicate the number of comments. If a post has no comments yet, the Comment link text appears as “Leave a Comment”.
Clicking on the Comments link takes you to a Comment text box on a post page dedicated to that post. Here you can type a comment in the text box and click the Post Comment button to have your comment displayed just below the text box. If you are replying to someone else’s comment, your comment will appear indented underneath the comment you are replying to.
At the bottom of the left column on the Home page is a ‘Previous Entries’ link that will take you to a page with a list of earlier posts.
Blog Features
The right-hand column of most blog pages contains this Welcome message. Below the Welcome message in the right-hand column are some useful features:
Email Subscription: Use this to subscribe to blog posts. You will receive an email notification with a link back to the blog each time a new post is published.
Search: Type a keyword or phrase and click the Search button to get a list of posts in the left column that contain the keyword or phrase.
Archives: The Archives list indicates the number of posts for each month listed. Clicking on the link for a month will display in the left column of the page a list of the posts published that month.
Categories: This is a list of keywords used to categorize posts. Posts can be included in more than one category, if applicable. Clicking on a category link will display in the left column a list of posts assigned to the category you selected.
Navigation Bar
The Navigation Bar at the top of each page contains a link to the blog Home page and links to the following additional pages:
Welcome: A link that displays this Welcome message in the left column (and the right column). At the bottom of the Welcome message is a Comment box where you can post a general comment about the blog or ask The Council a question.
Questions & Answers: Use this link to display a list of introductions to our longer posts, most of which are responses to reader questions. This is an easy way to check out these more in-depth posts. They are listed in chronological order with the most recent post on top. Clicking on the post title will take you to the page where you can read the complete post.
Contact Us: The Contact Us page contains a contact form similar to the Comment form mentioned above. The difference between the Contact Us form and the Comment forms is that the Contact Us form is a private message to us (Cynthia and Bob). It is not posted on the blog. Comments appear on the post page where the comment is posted. The Contact Us form can be used for communicating with us about private sessions or other private matters you think aren’t appropriate for posting in a public Comment.
Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 