Will I Be In A New Relationship Before My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Full Dreamland.
Dreamland: Hello, Council, Bob, and Cynthia. I appreciate all your guidance to me and others over several posts. I am in the middle of a separation from my husband. I have been told by a psychic that he will be in another relationship soon. I have also been told I will be in a relationship once I master being happy alone and learn my lessons around independence. I want to know if I will get married, or be in a new relationship, or if my husband will.
Council: Oh, is there a race here? Who’s going to do it first? Very interesting.
There’s more interest in finding out, not if you will get married again, and who will do it first, because no psychic can tell you. From moment to moment, your path can change. And a very good psychic may look and say, “Yes, I see you married. How wonderful.” And then the choices you make the next day can move the energy in another direction. So no one knows for sure what will happen.
We would say, if you want to see yourself married again, maybe you can be kinder to people. You can learn from what you went through in one relationship and make sure you don’t do it in another. It always comes from you looking at yourself – what you can do and how you can be on the path that you want to take. So that is the lesson. Look at yourself and don’t worry about what your husband is doing. It’s really none of your concern. His lessons will come to him when he is ready.
But if you would like to be married again without the thought of who’s going to do it first – thinking like that will definitely hold anything good coming forward because you are not looking at it correctly. As we said before, this is not a race. This is about your relationship. What have you learned from being in it? How have you changed? Are you working on yourself? Or are you wondering what he or his family is going to do?
Dreamland: I want to know what are my husband’s lessons with respect to my child and me.
Council: Well we won’t tattle, so we won’t tell you his lessons. But his lessons to you and to your child were to, when it was set up in your mind, your spirit, to come together in a loving fashion, to go through certain experiences, and find a kind, loving way to handle it. That’s what your lessons are. Everyone’s lesson is, when you come here, handle everything with the one answer, which is love, kindness, and compassion. So that’s why you are here. Have you learned it in your marriage? You would think that at one point it was there. Why did it change? What happened?
And this is not for you to look at him or his family and say, “They did this, they did that. He did this. He let them do that.” It was for a while this was going on. What is your part in it? How are you handling it? Are you honest, and sitting down and talking and saying, “You know this is going on. It’s uncomfortable. It hurts. And let’s see what we can do about it because we’re going down the wrong path.” It is that simple. The answer is always, “What am I doing? Am I kind? Am I understanding? Am I loving?” Though we hope, at this time, that you are doing that.
Dreamland: Will he ever realize the mistakes he made in our relationship and feel sorry for what he has done to us? Or will it be very easy for him to forget us and move on, and live his new life happily and without any regrets?
Council: You are not letting go of the thought of him realizing what he did was wrong, he’ll have regrets, he’ll miss you. Again, you are wasting time trying to figure that out. What you figure out is, how am I now as a person? Why do I have to know what his lesson is? That is none of your concern. We would never tell you another person’s lessons. Of course, he might be sorry, and then again, he may not.
But you’re taking your thoughts, your choices, and you’re putting them in the wrong direction. Work on yourself. Let go of what happened. Let go of getting even. Let go of wishing him not wellness, not a good situation, not being jealous if he gets married, and if he gets married first. Can you see that?
Dreamland: I find it disturbing that he and his family can keep on ruining innocent girls and his own child’s life, and not face any consequences. I’m trying to find peace in this situation. Thank you for helping.
Council: It’s not up to you to prepare to find out that he is having a hard time, or that he is having terrible consequences for disrupting other people. Again, we see you are concerned about will his family learn that? We would like to say, have you learned that? Have you learned that all of this has to do with you? It is your responsibility to change how you act if you find you are jealous, if you’re angry, if you’re wishing him and his family wrong. You are on the wrong path. And so when that begins to change, when you realize that, then you will find happiness.
And who knows, maybe tonight you’ll dream of us. And of course we have to add, you can see us every night, you can talk to us every night, you can dream of us, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to remember. But what we teach you, and what you need to know is within you, and when you need that information, you will remember.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Full Dreamland and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Finding Clarity in Unplanned Pregnancies
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named L.
L: Hello again, Bob & Cynthia. You were kind enough to ask for clarity for me a couple of years ago when I became pregnant unexpectedly. It was a tough time, and I lost the baby at the end of the first trimester. I could not go through with a termination, and offered to the spirit [of the fetus] that I would leave it to them to stay with me, or go. Our world was a little rocky, and the babe left.
I now find myself unexpectedly pregnant again at 42 years old. Again, my husband is not happy. I am shocked, but less so than before. Our relationship was already in conflict, and this is pushing the limits of mutual disrespect and fighting. I don’t feel as rejected as my last pregnancy with him, but I definitely don’t feel embraced.
I would love some clarity from The Council regarding this pregnancy and the way forward. Part of me hoped that we could make this pregnancy work, and bring us closer together, and [create] more harmony, but it has not. At 10 weeks pregnant, we can barely be civil to each other.
Council: We find that many people in your reality have the thought that bringing a new soul into this existence will solve one or many of these problems. Part of why this happens is to show you that nothing will change until you look at yourself, and what you are part of in this relationship, and why there is so much turmoil.
And so we ask you, what work have you done to look at this relationship? We’re sure that [with] what you’ve created in your reality, you are not all of a sudden aware that, “Oh, we’re having problems in this marriage, and whoops, we’re pregnant.” We feel that there have been things that needed to be looked at and talked about, which would change the relationship. And so, when there is another child, you are in a much better place.
And so we would say, it is your responsibility as a parent to try, always to try, to give your children a loving atmosphere. Love is #1. To give them education. To give them good character. And so, in your relationship, as it is, do you see this as possible?
And so then, when you decide if it’s possible or not, and things are always possible, but both parties must work on this. If it is possible, then you begin to behave, handle, and solve things differently. If it is not possible, then it is your place to decide: Do I bring this child into this atmosphere? Or wanting the child, [do I] change the atmosphere, leave the relationship, or get spiritual or mental help? Whatever you feel is needed that will take you through the steps in a healthy relationship.
And so we ask you, before you make a decision on what to do, really spend a lot of time on whether you want this child. If you don’t want this child, if you want this relationship to work, you really, really work on it, and not just be angry with each other.
L: I’m not in a position to be a single mother of three; however, I’m so sad at what our relationship has become for myself and our children.
Council: And so we ask here, you’re saying a mother of three. So you already have two children in this relationship. It just didn’t automatically happen. You have both created this so you can work on it and learn from it, learn about yourselves, and learn how to care for other people – your children.
One of the lessons in this is, there are already children involved. Now you wanted to learn [about] your responsibility, and how much you want to give them. And how much you want them to experience and learn in this relationship, so that when they go forward, and they are older, they would make choices, and they would have memories of what has gone on now.
So because it has been going on for such a long time, two children are already in this relationship that is unsettled, and now there may be a third. Again we ask you – you brought this in – the lesson was to learn about yourself and how to care for, not only the children, but each other. It is a lesson from other lifetimes, and it’s about caring.
And so we ask you to take your time, and to go into this, and truly do the work.
L: I’m looking for the light, as I feel at times so lost being pregnant at my age, and in an unhappy marriage with two young children.
Council: So again, because the lesson here was how you treat others, imagine how your children are feeling in this unhealthy situation. Do you want to change it for them? Or do you simply want to walk away and still change it for them, and then make it better for them on your own? Those are your choices. Or you continue as it is until you realize what must be done.
L: Any guidance would be appreciated. I wish for a happy, peaceful life with my family, and good health. Thank you, L.
Council: And so we would say at this point, sit down with yourself, with your thoughts, and say, “What is necessary to change this? What can I do on my end to make this better?” And concentrate on yourself. If you begin to work on yourself, your husband must do the same. He will see the choices you are making. He will see how you are responding. And so it would be the little domino effect. And then you will work on yourself, your husband will work on himself, and the children will see how different the relationship can be. You can change any situation you are in. And how to always use love as the answer, and treat each other with kindness.
And who knows? Maybe tonight you’ll dream of us. And of course, we have to add, you can see us every night, you can talk to us every night, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to remember. But what we teach you, what you need to know is within you, and when you need that information, you will remember.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for L and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Why Did My Ex-Partner Come Into My Life And Ruin It?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Zumzulis.
Zumzulis: I was writing before about a pregnancy with a person who smoked weed. I terminated the relationship, and we split. What happened after that was that he came running back after two months, and promised that he really wants a family, and we can create one.
Council: And was there something there that made you believe there was a change and it would be different? Look at what was said. Why did you go into this again?
Zumzulis: So I got pregnant again with him, and this time I regretted so much that I got back with him. He mentally abused me during the whole pregnancy and asked me to abort the child, or he would ruin my life.
Council: And so that is the second time you were in this relationship, and the behavior was abusive. And so, we would hope that at this point you would see it.
Zumzulis: I couldn’t believe that he trapped me again. It was even too late to terminate the pregnancy, and I felt mentally exhausted from the previous termination because I wanted a child so much, and we had planned it. So long story short, I have my child, and I ran from him when my baby was only 1½ months old after being treated like crap in my own home.
Council: And so, after these continuous getting back together, you have still experienced the same behavior, but now you have your child.
Zumzulis: I’m not going to get back with him this time for sure.
Council: Well we would hope so, because this will happen continuously until you get that lesson. And why would you put yourself through that over and over again? Even if this person were to come on their knees and beg you that they have changed, why would you take the chance and abuse yourself in this manner? So we would want you to be aware of this.
Zumzulis: I learned he is a narcissist. Now my baby is almost four months old, and I feel quite helpless because I am raising him almost on my own. The narcissist dad manipulates and abuses me by not looking out for the baby so I don’t have time for myself.
Council: And so, again, you are being abused. You don’t have time for yourself. At this point in your life, because of the choices you have made, the priority should not be who abuses you and what you have gone through, but how you are moving forward on a path for a different life for yourself and for your child. That is where the focus should be, not on blaming. It doesn’t matter. Where do you want your life to go now?
Zumzulis: I have sisters and a great mother, but my sisters are tired from their own kids, and my mother lives with my narcissistic dad on the other side of the country.
Council: So there’s a narcissistic dad also. So there are these interesting titles that you give to people. And yet we would say, look at yourself. This whole problem that you have is not about who is what, or how they treat you; it is about you. You are here to learn about you, what you will accept for this life, when you will get to the point where you know you are a spirit and you deserve better, and you can change it. All of this is about you, to learn about you. Take the focus off of everybody else and put it on yourself. You are capable. You can do this. You need to focus on where you want to go in the future.
Zumzulis: So when I came back to my parents, my father started abusing my mother, and I couldn’t stay any longer. So basically I have no help. Could you please give me any guidance on why this person came into my life, and ruined it, and still keeps trying to destroy my life, even if the cost is to abuse his own child?
Council: Because you set it up this way. Because you have decided this is the lesson you wanted to learn about yourself. And so, this lesson of being abused, and blaming others, and not having any help, keeps saying to you, “What do I do about it. What do I do about it?” And that’s where the focus should be.
So there is no blame on anybody else. It is a lesson that you called in, that you have created, that you wished to change. And when you get to that point, you will find where the right people will come into your life, and not think this man will track you down again, your father is abusing your mother, you know, maybe the neighbors will abuse each other. The point is to get away from that energy and know that, “I am strong, I have a child. It is my duty, my responsibility to take care of this child.” And you start to think like that. You will find the way.
Zumzulis: Another question I have is about my dreams. When I got pregnant, I had a very, very light, loving dream about my first boyfriend. After the dream, when waking up, I felt that I was free, and I will no longer have to suffer from this toxic relationship. But what does The Council say about that? What did it mean? Did the soul [of the child] that I got pregnant with save me. And what did it have to do with my first boyfriend?
Council: It has nothing to do with your first boyfriend. It is a wonderful memory. It is a dream that makes you feel good. But again, the purpose is not to go backwards, not to look for someone to take you away from this abusiveness. But look at this dream. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a relationship like that with someone? And you can find it. You can create it when you learn about yourself.
Zumzulis: I texted him and he is engaged already. I couldn’t stop thinking about him for the past couple of months. I started to feel like we broke up just yesterday, even though it’s been 10 years. Why do I feel this way if he’s engaged?
Council: Because you want that loving feeling. You think, “Oh, if their engagement broke up, maybe I can be with him. It will be wonderful.” Of course you could create that, but that is not the purpose. The purpose is, once again, what can you do?
You remember how it was. It was wonderful. You would like someone like that in the future, but how are you getting there. Do not go back into the past and think you can go into this relationship. What would you do if he married? Go into an affair? Would that be the right thing to do with that person’s wife? Would that be the kind of relationship you want? You would want someone for yourself that is good to you, that is good with you and with your child. And so going back only reminds you that there are good relationships and feelings you would like to have again. And so we would say, with this, move forward.
Zumzulis: Another dream I had was about my baby’s birthday. I dreamt he would be born on the 9th of November, and he was. Does it mean it was pre-planned?
Council: It could have been. It could be a sign that you decided that it would happen this way so that you’d know things are pre-planned. You can pre-plan, and you can take what you’re living now and plan the future the way you want it. And so take that sign as, you do have the power. You do have the availability to see signs that are sent to you to bring you where you want to be.
And so, we wish you love, and peace, and happiness on your journey, and just enjoy. Find things to enjoy and the rest will take care of itself.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Zumzulis and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Creating A Life With My Partner Without Parent Or Friend Interference
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named Peace.
Peace: Hello, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. Thank you for all your work and guidance.
I have a question about the people around me, their mindset, and how it’s affecting me. We have been having marital issues for a long time, and some of it is due to my partner’s parents. My partner has anger issues, as well. After we moved to a new city, his friends have been a source of frustration for me, as their mindset is very different from mine. This impacts my health negatively. Is it possible to create a life with my partner without the constant interference of his parents and friends?
Council: We would say, yes, of course it’s possible to create this, and you know the inner work that has to be done to create this. But we would ask you, why do you feel the parents interfere? And then when you finally move, you find that the friends are also interfering. So that is showing there that the question that needs to be answered, the question that needs to be worked on is, where is the communication problem? Have you spoken to your partner about this problem? How it makes you feel? How it affects you? And you are pulling that into you in a physical way because you are not having the conversation to really look at what’s going on.
And so you have a fear. And if you do not talk about it, and come to the reason why you have this fear, there will be others that will come in and cause this, what you think is a problem. People that perhaps you work with. It will escalate. And what it is you are supposed to be wanting to do, what you thought would be nice to do, was to sit down and together have these conversations to be understood about how you feel. But then also to hear what your partner says, and why there is this interference. Or why it is believed there is no interference, and it is just something that is annoying you.
It’s the conversation. It’s the communication of feeling. And when that begins to happen, and there is a true understanding of what the other person is feeling, what it is like for the other person, perhaps you feel this is an interference because your partner needs to talk, and confide to parents and friends because the feeling is not being able to have the conversations with you.
And so it is that sit down, and start very slowly about what goes on and why. And as you bring this to the surface, past traumas from this life and other lifetimes will come up. And you see that this not being heard, not being understood, is coming from a time where you were neglected, and anything you did say was not paid attention to. So knowing this, you look for it as you work with your partner on why this is going on now, and it will heal.
Peace: My husband is unable to grow out of this interference and is not able to distinguish between this relationship’s best interests. Or is it all happening so that my kid and I move on and completely create a new life without him?
Council: We would like to say here that running off with your child will not cure what you are trying to heal. You will create it in another relationship. There will always be some sort of interference until you quietly sit down and work, and keep working on conversation, how you feel, what it is that you need, and paying attention to what your partner is trying to say. It’s the understanding of communication that is wanted here.
Peace: Thanks.
Council: And so we wish you love, and peace, and happiness on your journey. And just enjoy. Find things to enjoy, and the rest will take care of itself.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Peace and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Will My Husband And His Family Learn Their Lessons For Their Bad Behavior?
This post answers follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named Soul Peace from a post we published called, How Do I Create A Successful Romantic Relationship, And Start A Spiritual Business?
Soul Peace: Thank you, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. I have a quick follow-up question. Can you please help me get the answer when you get a chance?
I want to know if my husband and his family, including his parents and sister, will learn their lessons, or will be punished for their selfish, manipulative, bad behavior with me and his ex-wife?
Council: And so we would ask you, what are your thoughts on this? We feel that you wish that they would be punished. And in your lifetime, everything is created by you. So we would say, “If you believe and want them punished, that’s what you will create. That’s what you would see.”
In their realities, they feel they are justified by acting whatever way they are acting. And so there’s no justification and no agreeing with you wanting them to be punished because they behaved in a negative way. That would not be part of their reality.
And so if you wish to move forward, if you wish to create a happy life for yourself, it would be good to try and see them in a different light, and not wish negative circumstances to happen to them. And so, this is a lesson for you to move on in grace, in higher vibrational energy, or to stay stuck and wanting others to be punished for what you feel you were treated not well.
And so here the lesson is: change the perspective. Work on that. That they will grow, they will change happily, that they will do it in good grace and easily. And that’s how you would move on and bring in a different set of people into your life.
And so, we would say to meditate on this, work on your heart chakra, and let that part of your life go.
Soul Peace: My husband’s family has a huge role to play in both the divorces. In my case they have impacted my mental health and the life of my child for their selfish motives.
Council: And so acknowledge you feel they have impacted your mental health and your child. Once again, you have allowed this. And you have allowed this because you want to learn how to live differently, to project how you act differently, how you can have thoughts that are more positive for yourself and not focusing on them. Are you creating a better life for your child?
So forget what you have seen, and what you think they have created, and take hold of your life. This is your lesson, and create what you want for you and your child.
Soul Peace: I want to know if they will learn their lessons. Thanks, Soul Peace
Council: They will learn their lessons. They will learn what they need to learn, not that they will learn how bad that they feel they were to you. There are many lessons going on here for many of the people involved. And eventually, if it is allowed, if they are willing to grow, everyone (and we will say here, everyone) will learn their lessons and move on beautifully.
And so we wish everyone to become aware of how wonderful you all are. That you are all spirits here, on the same path of bringing love, and bringing acceptance, of feeling good about others, about feeling good about yourself, and how learning to accept yourself and others is important. Most of all, reach out with the kindness, reach out with the love, and that is how we all came here to change this reality.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Soul Peace and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Creating Your Ideal Partner
This post answers follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named Starfish. We previously answered Starfish’s related questions in our post, Will I Meet My Ex Again, Or Meet Someone New To Share My Life With.
Starfish: Hi. I want to continue my question on this topic. After I posted this, I met a man who was my first boyfriend. I was in a relationship with him for one year, and then we broke up.
Council: Now when you think of this relationship, was it fun? Was it something you enjoyed? And we ask you to remember that part of it.
Starfish: My ex-boyfriend, who I loved dearly, but I was bored with the connection. So I keep blaming myself, even though he loves me so much.
Council: And why do you blame yourself? It was boring? And what did you do to make it exciting? What is it that you brought to this relationship? What is it that you wanted to talk about, and that you wanted to share? Always look at what you bring to the relationship. That is a #1 step in any relationship.
Starfish: My intention was still to have a partner who I can get married to. I met two other men after him. I feel like in my mind the man, K, was my husband, but so far the connection is unable to start. He’s busy with things in his life, and we are unable to meet or get to know each other.
Council: So there you are being shown that what you have is what you’ve created right now. The person not wanting to have more contact with you shows you were this person is right now. That does not mean that you cannot change this. You can. You have to start with meditations, with seeing it, with visualizing it, appreciating it, and working with the vibration. But from what you tell us right now, the man is not in a place to want to have more of a relationship with you.
Starfish: I only got to see him three times in the last four months. This made me question my intuition, and that maybe I was wrong because he doesn’t communicate or answer my texts much.
Council: Well your intuition is correct, that you are noticing he’s not returning texts, or calls, or wanting more to do with you. That is correct.
Starfish: Which makes me feel like he doesn’t want this connection.
Council: At the present that is true, but once again we say you can do the work, and you change it. And a lot of people will say, “You know, it’s hard work. I don’t want to do that.” Okay, that’s fine. Then move on and create the person of your dreams.
Starfish: But when we’re together, it feels good. I did not have the same feeling with the others. The other guy, N, he’s everything I wished for in a partner – the nice way he treated me, his communication – except our connection is more like friends.
Council: And can you appreciate how wonderful it is to have this kind of person in your life? You can stay friends and have a wonderful relationship.
Starfish: I’m confused about who to keep focusing on moving forward to create a reality with. I know I want to be with the K guy, but the circumstances are so against it, which makes me question if I’m heading the wrong way.
Council: If you are questioning, you are not sure you will be able to make this [relationship] happen. So #1, you would have to stop the questioning and start the knowing that this is what it is right now, but this is the way it’s going to be, and start working on the way you want it. And that’s how you change it.
Starfish: Or I’m just making toxic decisions for myself. The other connections were much easier, but my feelings are not in it.
Council: Alright, so follow your feelings. Create another person, and another one after that, and another one after that. Create as many as you can, and how wonderful it is that you can keep creating them. But keep creating and adding to each relationship what’s missing, and what you would like in it. And then you will create the perfect person for you.
Starfish: I don’t want to keep creating new people in my life because I’m very tired of this temporary experience.
Council: Well, you must first become aware of what it is you want, and what it is that’s lacking in all these other relationships, and create this one person that would have what it is you need that you don’t get in these relationships. So when you know what you don’t want, you will know what you want. Take a look at the relationships you’ve had. What is missing? And now add to the person who would be the ideal for you. And if you say you’re tired of creating, then you will just be stuck right now until you take the bull by the horns and say, “Okay, this is my life. I will create what I want.”
Starfish: I just want to choose one person and stick to that. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.
Council: And maybe it is your way of having fun, by creating all these people. There are many people who can’t even create one person, and you have been able to create several. So you can have fun with that. And you can say to yourself, “Well let’s see what I create next, and maybe this one will have everything that I want.” But be excited and be happy about it. When you are looking at it like you are tired of creating, you will never bring in the relationship that you want.
And so we send you love, and all the joy that you can find in your lives. Create, create, create.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Starfish and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Dealing With Wife’s Infidelity, Career Search, And Money Problems
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Roy.
Roy: Hello, Bob and Cynthia. Thank you for your wonderful platform. My questions center around three areas of my life where I’ve struggled the most. In my marriage I struggle with letting go of past wounds, as my partner had an affair several years ago, yet recently I’m obsessing over it and feeling very guarded.
Council: So you are suffering from the situation that happened to you. What have you done to let it go? Can you let it go?
If you are with this person and you constantly have the thoughts that: 1) there is no trust there, 2) you can’t make this work, and 3) it is uncomfortable, it’s very hard to turn it around.
But if you say, “Well, you know we both came here, we’re spirits, we wanted to be together. So the first thing as spirits, we have to find the love.” Show each other love, and do things that will bring happiness back into the relationship.
It is not so much thinking, “I’ve got to let it go,” because there’s hurt in those thoughts. But when you think, “We’ve planned this. We came together. We love each other. We want this to work,” that’s what changes what happens. And so, you have to want to bring joy, and trust, and love back into the relationship.
And, of course, communication is the first form of getting this (as we would say) out on the table, and discussing what can be done to bring the love that is there, and it is still there. How do you bring it forward?
Roy: I also struggle with finding a career path that I would find fulfilling.
Council: So what kind of desire do you have? What kind of joy do you have when you think of working? Even if you have an image of becoming a millionaire, how did you do it? What do you see yourself doing? It’s always important to play with you’re imagination and pay attention to what it feels like.
When you come into this reality, you always bring with you many, many gifts from other lifetimes. Well what is it? What brings you joy? Do you like to read? Do you like to draw? Do you like to be around people? Do you like to help people who have problems, or who are sick? Look and see what is of interest to you. Do you want to be around animals? Do you want to be outside? Do you want a job where you travel?
No one can give you that answer. You can’t sit back and say, “Tell me what I can do.” There are many, many things you can do, but now play with it. Do the work, and you will be surprised how fast this changes if you are intent on doing the work. You can do it. You can find it. It is already within you. Reach out for it. Be open to it being anything at all, but you will know because you will be happy doing it.
Roy: And I have financial problems that cause challenges in all areas of my life.
Council: And so we would say, as you tell us what is going on in your life, we would like to explain to you that energy is energy. It doesn’t always hit one area of your life. If you find yourself in (the word people use) a funk, it’s everywhere in your life. It will hit your finances, it will hit your relationships, and eventually it will hit your health. So right now, instead of putting pressure on yourself to feel better, to have a better relationship, to find a better job, work on yourself. How do I find a way to feel happy about anything? And by anything we say, are you happy walking down the street when you see babies playing together? Are you happy when you see a cute dog walking on a leash? Are you happy to look in store windows? Find the little things first. That is your challenge right now, because it is in every area of your life where things are not moving.
Find things to be grateful for and acknowledge them. Even if you were to find a penny on the street, laugh, acknowledge, “Okay, here’s some money.” Whatever it is, try to find the happiness in it. When you do that, you will find more and more things to be grateful for, and you will start feeling better, and you will find the right kind of job, and your relationship will improve. Find the gratitude. There is too much around you, and you have reason to feel this way. But now you know you are a spirit. You have the power to change your life by your choices, by how you think of things. And so we suggest you go on that path.
Roy: Any insights would be greatly appreciated. I feel I have been repeating patterns, and I am unable to move past this stage in my life.
Council: The pattern can be changed, but only you can do it. And you can do it. We see that.
And so we send you love, and all the joy that you can find in your lives. Create, create. create/
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Roy and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Finding Gratitude in Marriage
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the initial, A.
A: Hi, Bob, Cynthia, and The Council. Thank you for taking our questions. I would like some insight into my marriage. I don’t feel like I can be myself around my husband. It feels like my heart is closed off. I have a lot of resentment towards him, especially since having a child, and where the first few years I received almost no support from him.
Council: And so why are you now staying in that past, and what you experienced in the past? Can you see anything that you can be grateful for in your marriage now? Look at your partner. What is there that’s positive about him? Look for the good. When you do this you will find it. And the more you look, the more you will find.
A: I have found his behavior to be very selfish. I try to move past the resentment, but each new selfish act reminds me of the past. I no longer feel joy when I am around him.
Council: And so, when you see him do something you consider selfish, take a look at it. Is it really selfish? Or are you just going back into that feeling of how it was before? And if you see him doing something selfish, can you replace it and force yourself to find something that’s good? We ask you to look at this so that you can make a decision for yourself that’s more of what you want.
A: We have brought up divorce quite a few times. I’m not sure if this is the route I want to take.
Council: And that is why it’s good, at this point, to look for stuff to be grateful for in your marriage.
A: When I imagine that [divorce] future, part of it feels more freeing, but not all of it. I also don’t want to remain in a relationship where I feel alone and misunderstood.
Council: And when you feel like this, what usually happens in your human existence is you look for someone else. Someone that would give you the littlest bit of attention. And so we say, before you go there, look and see what works, and if there is great kindness in your marriage.
A: I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much from my relationship. I know I need to learn independence, but I’m not sure if this is the real problem, or if it’s just incompatibility between us.
Council: So again you’re saying you need to learn independence. What can you do to experience that now? Take that step in changing yourself. Take that step of learning something that you feel you need to learn. It is wise that you know that. So instead of waiting until later, do it now.
A: Another strange thing has been happening. I met this man…
Council: Ahhh!
A: …that I have hardly spoken with, and when I’m near him, I think about him. I have very strong feelings that cause me to question my marriage. This has happened twice now. I’ve never felt feelings like this towards another person.
Council: Because there is a longing in you that is looking for something new, something easy, something happy.
A: Who is this person to me?
Council: It is a spirit that you have called in because you feel something lacking in what you have now.
A: Are these my feelings, his feelings, or both?
Council: It is your feelings. And you can create it to go in any direction you want. But we say, question yourself, look for the good, come up with an answer, and then start the focusing and imagery on how you want your life to be.
A: Thank you very much for any insight you can provide.
Council: And we send you peace and love.
Listen to the entire 2-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for A. and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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What Should I Do About An Ended Relationship I Can’t Move On From?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, DSS.
DSS: My romantic relationship of 7 1/2 years ended in February and I can’t move on. I feel so drawn, even obsessed, that I desire to be this man’s wife. Please help me with clarity. Should I continue to focus on a loving and wonderful relationship with this specific man, or should I focus on the same wonderful qualities with someone new?
Council: Well right there let’s say – which we’ve said many, many times – the way the question is phrased we will never ever tell you what to do, to tell you to move on or hold on, bend this, keep going, or hang on. The answer is within you.
And one of the reasons everyone is here at this time is to learn to listen to their feelings [from spirit]. And the feelings will always make you feel good. They will always be feelings of love.
So you ask about this person and you say that you cannot move on. That is the physical or human part of you that’s afraid to move on. There may be much better future partners for you. Or there may be a time where you would learn to meditate, a time to learn how to manifest, and you create what it is that you do want. And so it is possible for you to have anything, but to get there you have to realize, #1, the choice is yours, and you have to do the inner work to know that your journey starts in spirit.
Now we look and we see, was there anything created where you would be together this lifetime. And we see, yes, but more of a friendship, more of two ships passing in the night. And where you may not have a relationship, even a friendship right now, it was planned that you would sort of come in and out of each other’s lives. So now you ask yourself, what is it that you want? Are you okay with a friendship where you just come together every now and then, or do you want this romantic relationship?
So #1, if you want this relationship, you begin to meditate, you do things to get your vibration to rise. And you do that by thinking loving thoughts, funny thoughts, great memories, whatever makes you sit there and smile. When you’re finally in that place, then detail by detail you imagine what you want. If you want a life with this person, what does it look like? What do you do? And you don’t always have to know how it’s going to happen, but you’re going to put out there that it’s happening, and the universe will take care of it.
So #1, the thoughts, the imaging, that is sending the energy out to the universe, and the main key is feeling that you already have it. What does it feel like being married? Or being together again? And as a little child would pretend to be a movie star of an astronaut, you pretend. You look for that feeling that it is already really happening, and pay attention to how you feel. And the happier you feel about it, the quicker you can bring that in. So the work, the whole thing, deciding what you want, how to do it, how to manifest it and get it to happen, it’s all up to you.
And so we give you blessings, we send you love, and light, and excitement on your paths. And know, and really, really think about it and know you are spirit, and you can create anything that you want.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for DSS and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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How Can I Find Happiness and Children After Divorce?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Eva, in response to our post, Should I Give This Man Who’s Come Back Into My Life A Second Chance?
Eva: Dear Bob, and Dear Cynthia. This is a follow-up question on the same subject, and I would really love to hear from you again.
I ended up getting a divorce, and that was something inevitable because my ex-husband and I kind of realized we would never be able to work things out.
My lover from the past, who has also gotten a divorce, has a very energetic role in my current life, and we’ve decided to be together and to try to have a child of our own. Do you think that the universe will give us a second chance? I really can’t describe the obstacles that we have overcome in order to be together, and that we both share the thought that we should stay together no matter what.
At this point I’d like to add that it seems my ex-husband has accepted this reality and doesn’t create any problems.
Thanks for your time. I’m looking forward to getting an answer from you. Love and light.
Bob: So do you think that the universe will give Eva and her new partner a second chance?
Council: So we see you say you got a divorce, and this man (your current partner) also got a divorce. And we see what you would like for yourself is a permanent family. And where we would never tell you what to do, you should be very clear with your new partner about what you want.
And have the two of you talked about marriage? Because sometimes people stay together, but one wants marriage, and the other partner doesn’t want to go there for whatever reason. We would say, be very, very clear about what you want at this time and with this person.
Can you make this marriage work? Of course you can. You know how to do it. You focus on what you want. You concentrate on the both of you going forward with the dream you have for however you want to see it and change it. Your ex-husband not interfering now is a good start.
So we would say, what is it you want? Do you want to be married to this person? Do you want a permanent home? Then you should state that, and make that very clear, and go ahead and move forward and do it.
If you’re a little iffy – we’ll stay together no matter what – we can see in your energy there’s a little tiny bit of doubt there. So once again, you would be the creator. If you want this, and if your partner wants it, then we would say, make it clear what it is that you want, and move forward with happy thoughts, with happy images, and then you will create it.
Bob: Thank you very much for your answers to Eva’s questions.
Council: Well this was indeed a wonderful day, and we enjoyed these questions. And to everyone who asks for our help, we are overjoyed when we are asked for help. We want you all to know that we are always with you. We always send you healing energy. And just know that no matter what, you are not alone. We are here. Talk to us like we are sitting next to you. Make us part of your life, because what we want is for spirit to come into your reality so you can learn that you are spirit. You are part of us. We are part of you. And as you go through joys, and hardships, and challenges, and rewards, we go with you. And so we send you blessings, and love, and light.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Eva and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as it’s ready.
If you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council, you can pay us $60 through PayPal by clicking on this link. When we receive your payment, we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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Did I Pre-Plan For Any Spirits To Be My Spouse Or Children?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, RA_Reader.
RA_Reader: Dear Cynthia, Bob, and The Council, I so appreciate your work. I was wondering if I planned meetings or contracts with a spouse and children for this lifetime, and anything else I might need to know with respect to this topic, such as timing and opportunity. Thanks so much.
Council: We love how so many of you are so hung up on these contracts, and you have to do something because you signed a contract, and if you don’t live up to that contract, you will be turned into a cinder block.
But we would say here, there’s no particular person or spirit that you wanted to meet in your current lifetime. There are many spirits that you agreed to have in your life, and you have all agreed to come together.
And so you are one of the many who wanted the freedom to create as you go along. Yes, you can have children. That was in your thoughts. You can have a marriage. You can also travel a lot. That was something that was wanted. But there were no spirits that you have to meet that are going to be your children, and no partner with a spiritual contract.
It’s just that so many of you got together and said, “Okay, let’s play along, and we’ll show up at a certain time. Let’s see what we can do with it.” And it was the freedom which is wanted more and more in this particular lifetime. The freedom to create as you go along. And when you find the person, you will know it. And the trials could be easy, or they could be difficult, but you will know it, and you will always grow from it. And you will experience what you focus on.
And so enjoy your creations. Learn from what we teach. There’s always a way it will help you. And just asking the questions is showing that you are on another path to expand, to learn how to create, to look at yourself, to show kindness, and to bring in the happiness that we all want. And so we say, have fun with this.
Listen to the entire 3-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear their guidance for RA_Reader and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll publish an audio recording of their response as soon as we have time.
Or if you prefer to have a private half-hour telephone conversation with The Council you can pay us $60 by clicking on this link. Once we receive payment we’ll email you to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and questions.
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How Do I Handle This Relationship With A Man Who Isn’t My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Lisa.
Lisa: I met a man who makes me smile and feel special. Being around him instantly raises my vibration and makes me happy.
Council: With familiar souls that usually happens.
Lisa: We’re drawn together like magnets. He has asked me out, but I’m married and won’t have an affair. I want this person in my life as a friend because I feel like we bring each other up and can help each other, but I’m not exactly sure why the Sun or the universe brought him to me.
Council: The universe, or God, or whatever you believe in, brought him to you because you have called it in. You are at a point in your life where you want someone to make you feel special.
We suggest you begin to find things about yourself that make you feel special, so it doesn’t have to come from an outside source. When you begin to appreciate yourself and not rely on this person to help you feel good, then your relationship can move on and you can become friends.
Lisa: Is he my twin flame or soulmate? Am I crazy and he’s just a player, and I’m making this up because I want to feel loved?
Council: Yes, you’ve created it because you wanted to feel love, but it’s someone that you’ve known in other lifetimes. There’s that coming together with sort of a giggle because it’s what you have planned, and how you go forward with what you both create out of this relationship is in the works. And so, it’s a wonderful place for you to be at this time.
Lisa: My husband doesn’t know about him. If he did know about him, I’d never be allowed back to the park, even though we are just friends and only talk at the park. How should I handle this?
Council: Well, you can be honest and tell your husband this. Or you can just go there and not feel that this is something you have to be sneaky about because it’s just a friendship. And you have to be very clear that you want to keep the relationship just a friendship.
And so eventually we would hope you would get to a point and say, “Oh, I met this person and we talk a lot.” And maybe you can find out if this person is married, what kind of job is this person interested in, and does he have a family? And just repeat that to your husband so it is open, it is honest, and everyone will be okay with it. Let go of the thought that you have to keep this information quiet, or secret, or you won’t be able to go to the park. That will bring in drama and chaos.
So just think of it as a familiar soul. You’re friends right now and you’re just going to go forward. It doesn’t have to be secret. There’s nothing wrong. When you feel things have to be secret, that will create problems.
And so we send you all love, and wonderful, wonderful experiences, and clarity, and fun along the way. Life is always supposed to be fun, even in the difficulty. It’s the way you look at it. And know that no matter what, you have the ability to change it.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Lisa and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.
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How Can I Handle My Husband’s Secrecy And Lying?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Kristi, about her relationship with her husband.
Kristi: I am in what is turning into a dire situation, and I desperately need some help, clarity, and guidance. I have been married for 21 years, and have recently found out that my husband has been engaging in secretive behaviors that he’s been lying to me about. I found out he has been hiding and lying to me about these behaviors for most of our marriage, which that alone has completely destroyed me and the foundation of our relationship. During the past year, my gut has been telling me that he’s still lying to me, but he denies, denies, denies. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but my intuition isn’t letting me move on.
Council: So you say here you want to give this person the benefit of the doubt, and yet you have no belief in what he’s saying. So right there is a block that is in the way for it to turn around and have any sort of door open to a conversation that would be of benefit. So do you truly want to talk about it? Do you truly want to believe it? Or do you truly want the proof that this is going on?
So we’d say this question is all about you, not what your husband is doing. This is about learning your feelings, learning to go with what you believe, and really searching for how you feel.
So the best way to start is by asking, What is it that you really want? Do you really want to stay in this? Or do you finally want the proof that this is going on and you can release yourself from this partnership? So that’s the first lesson in this.
Kristi: I still feel like he’s lying to me to keep me from leaving him.
Council: And that must be very unsettling and very unhappy.
Kristi: I’ve tried everything in order to get the full truth out on the table so we can confront it, heal it, learn from it, and move past it, but he just wants to sweep it under the rug and move on.
Council: Here there’s a fear of speaking about it, and there are lessons that he is going through that you don’t understand or need to know right now. So trying to get this out on the table to talk about will not work right now. That doesn’t mean it will never work, but it will not work right now. Are you okay with this? Is there enough forgiveness, is there enough love there for you to wait it out and see what happens?
While you’re waiting it out, you have to do the imagery work, the feeling work, to see it the way you want it to be. And you can not do this unless you search yourself and you find out, do you really want it to be, or do you really want a way out? And then do the imagery work.
Kristi: During the last year my self-esteem has eroded and I found myself suicidal for the first time in my life.
Council: So now we ask you…that is a very serious thought…suicide. Why would you want to end your life because of a problem in a marriage? Why would you want to ruin your life because your partner is doing things that you don’t understand, you don’t appreciate, or you don’t like? Is that what your spirit really wants? Do you think your higher self wants you to end this life? No. It wants you to figure it out. Figure out who you are. Figure out what you want. No one can take good feelings about yourself from you unless you let them.
If he is doing something that you don’t understand and you think it is horrible, why would you end your life, which you can create any other way you want, because of another person’s problem?
So this question that you are coming to us for an answer, isn’t about your husband, how to get him to do this, how to get him to do that. It’s about you. Your higher self is saying, find guidance and listen to the answers, and figure out who you are so you don’t end this reality prematurely. We hope that is understood.
Kristi: I’ve tried to find concrete proof of his behavior, but I’m coming up short.
Council: You know they say when you search hard enough for something, eventually you’ll find it. So instead of looking for concrete proof that your husband is lying to you, look for proof that he’s not lying to you. So if you want the marriage, look for proof that the objectionable behavior is not happening. Really look for signs. If you want a way out, then keep looking for proof that it is happening. Do you see here how you are in control? Your thoughts, your mind – what you look for, you will find. You will create it.
Kristi: I have a difficult time ending my 21-year marriage based on my gut feeling with no definitive proof.
Council: Yes, the proof has to come from who you are, who you find out you are, and what you really want.
Kristi: I’m really struggling. Why am I taking the word of a liar over my own intuition? He has been gaslighting me for over a year and I’m doubting myself now. I don’t want to break up our family, and I want to believe him, but I’m lost. I’m scared I’m going to make the wrong decision and have regrets. I do love him, but our relationship isn’t in a good place right now. I personally am not in a good place either because I feel frozen and unsure of myself.
Council: Find thoughts that make you feel good first. Before you decide anything in this relationship – if it’s memories, if it’s fantasies, if it’s scenes from a movie – find something to think of that makes you feel good. From that vibration you ask yourself, “What is it that I want?” The answer then will come and it will be very clear. And the feeling you get with the answer that you see will help you make the move. And if it’s truly what you want, your higher self will show you how to deal with this all along the way, how to see it, how to let go of it, how to have patience knowing this person has their own problems, and the suffering, and perhaps – and we say here, perhaps – the lying.
So we’d say, do the work. Take the challenge. You created this because you wanted to find clarity, because you wanted to know how to learn more about yourself, and how you wanted your life to go on, and how you’d be of help to this other person who desperately needs it. Or how to let that other person find another way to deal with it and you go your merry way.
This is all about you, all about what you want. So do the work to make yourself feel good. Stop thinking of ending your life and start having happy, wonderful thoughts, and then start seeing your future. How would I be if I were free going on? How would it be if I stayed and helped? Does it make me happy to be of service? Will this change? And yes, it will change, if you want it. So the question is all about you.
Kristi: We can’t keep going on like this. I’d like to ask The Council for any insight about this situation that they can provide. What lessons are in play here? And what’s the best way to handle this situation? I don’t know how to reach him, and I’m afraid too much damage has been done.
Council: How about thinking, “Oh, I do know how to reach him. It will come to me. There will be some sort of peace. We will be able to work on this. He will soften and talk to me. We’ll find a way to know what we have to do, and I will be of service, not only to him, but to us. And so we wish you well on this.
Kristi: Thank you for any insights you can give me. With many thanks, Kristi.
Council: And so we send you blessings, and happiness, and light, beautiful energy to carry you through your days. To meditate and pray, or have a few moments a day to have happy thoughts, and move forward in your life, knowing every single thing that you are experiencing, you have brought in to be of service, to learn from it, and to bring healing and love into your reality.
Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Kristi and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.
If you prefer to keep your comment private, you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.
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Why Did I Marry An Alcoholic And Suffer So Much?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Stella.
Stella: Hello. I’d like to ask The Council the reason for my having married an alcoholic and going through such suffering.
Council: First, look at this. Did you know he was an alcoholic before you married? And if you did know, why did you marry him? Take a look at this. Always look at your behavior. What are you feeling? Did you think it wasn’t that bad and you could change him? What we’re learning now is just to be. Just allow anyone to be whoever they are and just go with it.
More and more people would experience what they consider really weird relationships and really weird experiences going on with their lives. How do I handle it? Where did this come from? I feel crazy. I don’t know how to get things going.
And it’s part of the lesson your whole reality wants to learn right now because there is such chaos, and there’s so much that people will feel they can’t create anything. People will feel, “I have no hope. What is going on with this world? What is happening?” And many people will get very angry. Many people will get very frightened.
And through this all the spirits here are teaching: Just be. Just allow. Whatever is going on, just allow it and watch it. And when you watch that person, send them love. Send them light. Send them good thoughts. And just by flowing with it, just by going with it and not being in a crazed place where you must change it, by flowing and just using your thoughts you will see and come to understand I cannot control this person.
I cannot control what’s going on in the world, but I will have faith in God and in the universe. I’ll work with light and send it all over this planet. I will send light anywhere where I hear there’s a problem. And I will just wait. I will just watch it. And by allowing and holding the light, you begin to change your world.
Stella: Also, what career will help me financially because my husband is a full-fledged alcoholic and can’t be relied upon to bring an income from good sources.
Council: Well you have had, in past lives and careers, where you wrote. You’re very good at writing, and you did bring it in with you so that you could do it if you wanted to. But we would say now, for you, it would be one of these jobs where you can get out of the house three times a week so you could experience things. And then the other two days a week you would work in the house so you would get an example of both, both areas of your life. What goes on for you when you’re out, and what goes on for you when you’re in. And the experience will give you an idea more of what you’d like to do.
But we would see that you don’t need to be around large groups of people. A quiet job is good for you. It gives you time to reflect on what is going on around you. And so any office work, any work with figures or with writing would help you, and it would also give you more confidence. It’s something you can do.
Stella: I did have some past life sessions, but somehow I see nothing.
Council: And so if you see nothing, that means you really don’t need to know anything from your past lives. And as we teach now, we’re all saying, “Okay, forget that. Don’t be wasting your time on past lives. Take your time and create it now. Create the life you want in the future.
Do you say kind words to people? That will show up in your future. Are you helpful to people? That will show up. Your future life, by the kindness you show, the words you speak, by the fun you have, will show up in your future. And that’s why it’s so important now.
It’s fun to learn about your past, but let it go and work now on your future. And at some time in the future, everyone will be able to do this. Everyone will be able to create a better life. And so start now.
Stella: Thank you so much in advance for all your answers I’m so desperately waiting for. Regards, Stella.
Council: And so we would say, don’t think you are desperately waiting for answers. You have the answers, and now you have some ideas on how to bring them forward.
Blessings to all, and have fun with your creations.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Stella and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time. For the time being you don’t have to attach your name to the comment, but there have been a lot of anonymous comments lately and it can be confusing for us to keep track of these. It would help us if you made up a name rather than using no name.
If you prefer to keep your comment private, you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.
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Am I Facing A Dark Night Of The Soul?
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader.
Anonymous: Hello. Can The Council please let me know if I am facing a dark night of the soul? I’m misunderstood by a lot of people in my life, and it’s getting hard for me to continue with a lot of close relationships. I’m starting to lose trust and confidence, which is impacting my health a lot.
Following a fallout with my manager at work I have also faced a job loss recently, which has further amplified this health issue. Can The Council please guide me about how to come out of this despair, and if I have a past life history with my old manager?
Council: We would like to say here that if you were in this dark night of the soul, which is a very hard place to be, you wouldn’t be asking for our guidance because you wouldn’t be believing in anything. You’d be feeling completely alone. So the fact that you are asking shows that you know there is something more than you out there, but you don’t have a lot of patience to want to wait for it. It’s an uncomfortable feeling.
And so we would say when you have that feeling of this dark night, the best thing to do is to go into your heart chakra in your chest and build that up. Start filling it with green energy. Put this energy in your chest, down your arms, around the outside of your body, and just see the color green getting brighter, growing, going all the way down to your fingers and spurting out your fingers.
Work on the heart chakra. When that is getting the attention and the energy it needs, your thoughts, the way you feel, and what you experience in your life will change. It will get better. The heart chakra is very, very important. And so you can do the whole chakra meditation, or just for now work on the heart, but that will begin to lift your spirits.
Sometimes you can look for a little pinhead of light in the heart chakra, so it’s all green, but one little dot of white light. Watch it grow until it comes out of your body and all around you.
Bob: Any advice on a past life history with their old manager?
Council: Let’s see. You met in another life, very late in life. You took in a lot of homeless children, and it was hard, but you loved being of service. And it was almost like you had this life together, but you always felt you could do more and you didn’t, and it was very upsetting. And unfortunately when you left that reality, you weren’t happy with how you handled it, and you sort of blamed each other for holding each other back, or not doing things the right way.
And so in your current lifetime you wanted to see if you could work together, if you could take direction, if you can get along and make things happen, and really make things grow and advance in your careers. You wanted to get to a place where you could understand what each other wanted or needed, where in that other lifetime you didn’t. You just went around your business doing whatever you thought would work, but there wasn’t that togetherness. And so you wanted to come together again in this lifetime to see if that could happen.
Anonymous: I used to have a good relationship with this manager to begin with, and then it deteriorated very fast, which impacted my mental health a lot.
Council: So look at this relationship. What made it deteriorate? What sticks out for you?
Anonymous: I also have an on/off, mostly off, relationship with a husband who has an extreme ego. He misunderstands me, and justifies his bad actions with reasons that exist in his head, possibly influenced by my in-laws.
Council: It is influenced by – very interesting here – what you experienced in that past life with your boss. Not understanding exactly what you are experiencing with your husband, you wanted to experience this again to see how you could change it, how you could understand it, and how you can handle it. And so that problem with your husband is coming from a past life, and your desire to know how to change it. Can you do that?
Anonymous: It feels like I’m hitting a wall in all areas of my life. This hurts my child, as well. I’m trying to keep my thoughts positive, but it’s like fighting an internal battle every ten minutes and gets exhausting. Please guide me. Thanks a ton for the great work you guys do.
Council: Get into a place where you are willing to have this husband – where you see he wants his way, and does things his way, and it’s uncomfortable – get into a place where all you do is see it, and just think, let me flow with it. Let me have good thoughts, not want to change it, just have good thoughts and bring light to myself. And without bucking the problem and making it worse, not getting to a place where I must change this and I must change that, let me just watch it. Let me just flow with it, and I want peace, and I want things to work out. And just flowing with it, you will see how easily it comes.
Blessings to all, and have fun with your creations.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time. For the time being you don’t have to attach your name to the comment, but there have been a lot of anonymous comments lately and it can be confusing for us to keep track of these. It would help us if you made up a name rather than using no name.
If you prefer to keep your comment private, you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.
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Can We Influence Another Person’s Lifespan?
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader about whether we can influence another person’s lifespan, and is in response to a post we recently published called, What You Create In Your Life Is The Only Thing That’s Important.
Anonymous: I found it interesting that The Council said the person who asked the question for this other post could imagine her husband passing (leaving his physical body) and this would make it happen. Or she could imagine him living longer if she didn’t want him to pass. I’m surprised because I didn’t believe we could affect someone else’s lifespan.
Council: We can’t. We definitely can not affect another person’s lifetime.
So let’s put this as simply as we can, and many people may have difficulty understanding this. You, as a spirit, are a gigantic ball of light. There are many, many parts of you in this life. When you create your own life, you focus on what you want, and part of you will experience that. If you want your partner to live, and you focus and focus, and see it happening, and you feel it, you will experience that.
If your partner wants to move on, a part of him will create that in his life and he will experience what he wants. So he will pass on. So you are not allowing him to die or be alive. You are creating what you want in your life, and you’re not forcing a life on your partner that he doesn’t want. He will still have the life he wants.
So you both will experience two different kinds of lives. In your life, your partner will experience living and getting well, and you will experience that. In your partner’s life, he will experience passing out of this lifetime. He will experience that and you will experience that.
So always focus on what you want. Don’t worry about what the other person wants. They will create whatever they focus on, and you will create whatever you focus on, and you will all have whatever it is that you want.
Anonymous: I thought that would be up to the soul of the person in question…
Council: It is.
Anonymous: …and couldn’t be influenced by another person.
Council: It’s not.
Bob: So your advice for that anonymous reader to imagine her husband passing and this would make it happen?
Council: If she focuses on that, and keeps focusing, and seeing it, and feeling it – whatever she focuses on will be created. It’s the law of the universe. But the other person will also create what they want.
So it’s not your place to be here worrying, “I’m going to force what I want on another person.” Or, “I’ll have things happen to him that he doesn’t want.” No. You’ll create what it is that you want. And how wonderful it is that your partner has the freedom, as a spirit, to still create what he wants.
So you will both experience the two different situations, but you’ll only be conscious of one of them.
Bob: I see. So it’s a question of multiple realities?
Council: Exactly. We always have the freedom to create. That’s why we say no one creates in your life but you. And your partner, or your neighbor, or your mother, or your father, has the ability to create what they want. So don’t focus on what other people want. Focus on what you want.
Bob: So Anonymous imagines her husband passing and this makes it happen. Does that have any influence on the husband’s life?
Council: Only in her experience. It doesn’t affect his life. He will create and experience whatever he’s focusing on. Her partner will pass on in the wife’s reality, but he will not pass on in his reality if he doesn’t want that.
We wish you love, and happiness, and fun in creating your lives. You are the creator in your life. No one else is.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.
Or you can pay $60 to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking on this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.
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What You Create In Your Life Is The Only Thing That’s Important
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader who asks about her relationship with her husband.
Anonymous: I have a question about my family and marriage. My husband is not very supportive and he’s very calculating in our relationship. I lost my job three months ago and he doesn’t support me financially.
Council: So we’d ask you, what are you doing in this time? Are you trying to find another job? Are you being careful about what you think? When you constantly think this is hard, your husband is manipulative, he’s not supporting you – as you think of this, you create more of it. So hopefully we have all learned that.
So now think of when the relationship was better and when he was supportive. And also think about, I don’t need to depend on that. What can I do for myself? It’s a lesson in being independent.
And so we’d also say, yes you’ve written for some guidance and we would simply ask, have you sat down and spoken to your husband about how you feel? And not in a threatening way and not to have a fight, but if he was supportive before, why isn’t he supportive now? Find out where he is on his path, what he feels, and why he’s acting like this.
In your particular situation, communication is very important. So the first step is to sit down and have a talk about what’s going on, and why there is that change.
Anonymous: Verbally he supports me, but when it comes to money his attitude toward me is very calculating.
Council: So that is what you speak about. It’s good to have questions about this. It’s good to bring this up so that there’s a dialog.
Anonymous: I’ve been managing everything on my own. He’s not this way with his parents and other friends.
Lately he’s saying that he may not live long. I also have intuitions, being an empath, that he may not be able to live beyond two or three years. Can The Council please guide me if my husband’s soul has planned an ending, and what I can do to improve the relationship so that I’m truly happy for whatever time we have together?
Council: Well we’d say here it’s not important what your husband is planning. It’s important what you imagine will happen. If you don’t want your husband around, yes, you could imagine him passing from this incarnation very soon, or maybe lasting a year. But when you have that feeling it’s going to happen, you will create it because of that feeling.
You can change that if you don’t want your husband to leave this lifetime. Imagine him getting better, feeling better, becoming more of a partner, and having more understanding between the two of you.
It’s important for you to know what you create in your life is the only thing that’s important, and it comes from your thoughts and your feelings.
So don’t waste energy thinking about what is he planning or what is he doing. How do you want your life to go forward? How do you want it to unfold? That’s how powerful you are. We hope you understand this.
And so we wish you all love, happiness, and excitement on your journey, and think of wonderful, wonderful things to experience. It could be the littlest thing, but focus on that, and be in a state of gratitude for everything that you have and everything you’ve passed through. And that vibration of gratitude, little by little, will begin to change your life.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
You can also ask The Council your own free question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages, and we’ll answer it when we have time.
Or you can pay $60 for the opportunity to speak with The Council on the telephone for a half-hour by clicking on this link. Once we receive your payment, we’ll contact you by email to arrange a mutually convenient day and time for your phone call and your questions.
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Did My Friend, Stephen, And I Pre-Plan To Connect In Our Current Life?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Sophie.
Sophie: I wanted to ask about my friend, Stephen. Our bond seems to be really strong, even when we don’t see or speak to each other for a long time. That makes me think we knew each other in a past life. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that we must have planned to connect in our current life. Could you shed some light on that?
Council: Yes, you did know each other in several lives. And yes, you did plan to connect in this life to get together.
Now it’s sort of iffy, but you both agreed that going forward when you would be at an older age, that there would be a marriage. There’s a possibility. But always know that you and your friend have the ability to change whatever you thought. And so you’re still in control, but yes, there is a closeness there.
Sophie: I had a dream that I was standing with an angel looking down at an altar where I could see myself and Stephen getting married in an incredibly bright golden light.
Council: When you look at this scene do you see a wreath of flowers on your head and with a thin veil? You would describe this as the time of Gwenevere or Camalot. And so you were married in this beautiful church, and it was something back then that was also planned in spirit. And you were very much in love and had this beautiful wedding ceremony. And that’s what you were allowed to see in that dream. And so it’s just the memories that are coming through that are trying to show you that, yes, you do have a close bond with each other.
Sophie: Neither of us has any interest in marriage at the moment.
Council: Yes, at the moment.
Sophie: But I was wondering whether this was a message that we were married in a past life?
Bob: And you’re saying it was.
Sophie: Lastly, I find it difficult to cope with the idea of us moving on to separate romantic partners. How can I support myself to do this and also maintain a relationship of mutual respect with Stephen?
Council: By knowing you are the creator and by deciding what you want. You can let your relationship flow and see where it goes, or you can create a marriage again if that’s what you want, or you can just be friends and go with different partners. But even if you do that, what’s important here is the understanding that you’ve been together before. And if you both decide that marriage isn’t in the cards in your current lifetime, you can do it again and be married in another lifetime.
All of this is to show people you’ve had past lives, you’re still living, and you can have future lives. And you can decide who is in them and what direction they are going just by acknowledging that you are spirit, acknowledging that you have a choice, and manifesting by your thoughts and feelings of how it is with what you want. Do you have a picture or a focus of being married? How does that look? What does it feel like? Tap into the feeling. If you want to go separate ways, what does that look like? How does that feel? But always knowing it’s exactly what you both want to create this time, and you will create again.
Sophie: Deep down in my heart I’m just not ready to let go.
Council: That’s fine. Have fun with it and create what’s in your heart.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Sophie and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council a question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Did I Set Up A Difficult Time As A Test Of Faith?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Anonymous Number 3.
Anon 3: Your posts lately have been incredible. Thank you so much. To keep the conversation going I have a question that ties in with your post, Coming From Your Heart, Connecting To Your Higher Self, And Feeling Good, and your post, What Are The Limits To Positive Thinking?
Council: Oh, there are no limits to positive thinking.
Anon 3: I had a huge leap in my spiritual awareness around 2013 when I found Abraham’s Law of Attraction.
Council: Oh, wonderful. Yes, it’s so helpful, and it’s leading many people to see things differently.
Anon 3: I had this incredible experience of seemingly pulling things out of thin air. It was exhilarating. Some years later disaster struck and my entire life crashed around me. Within a couple months I found myself homeless, unwell, and without my beloved partner.
Council: Look how you created the other side of the coin. And so you created it to learn from it, experience it, and change whatever you wish to change.
Anon 3: The Abraham System didn’t work for me then. I don’t think I’ve understood why that happened yet. I usually learned the lesson from an experience, but this one has consistently evaded me, and I think I’m still scarred by it even though it was six years ago.
Council: You’ve created this experience, (we’ll use Abraham’s words) you’ve created this contrast in your life to see how it was wonderful, and now experiencing the other side of the coin. And it’s your wish at this point to change it back. And you feel the Abraham material isn’t working for you because now what your higher self is showing you is you must find another way. Abraham took you so far, you see it works, and if you stop doubting it would work again.
But now you seem to be looking for something else. And many of the souls right now, what they’re looking for is a way to connect with their higher selves and to get the answer themselves. And what we’ve all agreed on before coming into this reality is that at a certain stage of your life, you’d get your answers by the way you feel, and that’s by connecting with the Heart Chakra.
So whatever it is that you want – success, more money, a new lover – go into your heart chakra and see the beautiful green or pink light, and picture what you want. And then sit and ask your higher self, how do I get there? You’ll be surprised how you will get ideas and how things will automatically come to you because every day you’ll say: “I want to come from my heart. I want to connect with my higher self. I want that guidance in my life.” And so when you do that, you’ll begin to see how in control you are to put yourself on the path you want, and have a life of joy, which we all planned for when we came into this life.
And so we experience the opposites and then we find a way to change it. And we bring in the good, and sometimes we go back into what Abraham describes as contrast, and then we change it again. Life goes up and down, up and down. And that’s what we all want because we figure: Coming here, this will be a lot of fun. Let’s see what I create. Let’s see who comes in to help me in this life. And so that is where you are right now.
You are to rely on yourself by taking the time every day to tell your higher self you want to connect with it because you are your higher self. But you want to find a way to create things beautifully and easily in your life. So when you have to make a decision, ask your higher self, and sit and wait. And don’t wait for the words. Think of which way you want it to go. Then how do you feel? How does it feel in your chest? in your stomach? How does your body feel? And that is what we all, at this time, are learning. How to make decisions and create a better life by what we feel. Not logically, not with words, but by what we feel. That’s what we mean to get across: How we feel. And that’s why you are now on a new way of learning.
Anon 3: Since my life fell apart six years ago I’ve felt it almost impossible to align to my highest timeline or do the Abraham work because when I do, I remember what happened to me and I think there’s no point.
Council: And so, right there, that belief, that thought, will never make it work.
Anon 3: Did I set this catastrophic time up as a test of faith?
Council: Of course. You set it up for a lot of reasons, but mostly so that you would grow, and you will learn how to guide yourself.
Anon 3: Around then I started asking my higher self for guidance, but I’m not sure whether I can trust it.
Council: Of course you can trust it, but you must learn to work with the feelings. Go into the heart chakra, picture what you want in there and ask the question. Ask your higher self: Show me, and then forget about the doubt. And of course, when you do doubt, just acknowledge it and say: “No, No. I will wait. I am my higher self. I am connecting to me. I am connecting to what I have planned and what I want to go through in this life.” And you will see the difference.
Anon 3: At the time, I asked for and thought I saw signs that my partner was returning, but they never did. Since then I’ve asked for guidance about several other things and it was spot on.
Most recently I have finally, after all these years, felt ready to be in another relationship and really want to be married.
Council: And if that is what you really want, and you work with your higher self, and you work with being in joy and happiness, and aligning with that higher vibration, you will bring that in.
Anon 3: I’ve asked my higher self if this new person in my life is the one, and it’s continually and consistently sent me signs saying: Yes, yes, yes.
Council: Okay, so then when you sit down and you meditate, thank your higher self and ask to be shown more signs that this person is for you. It’s that simple. The doubts are what changes the outcome. And so with faith in your intuition, in your higher self, ask for the signs and wait until you see them.
Anon 3: But because I thought I saw these same signs about my ex-partner, I’m doubting them.
Council: Of course, but now you have another way to do it. Now you have another way to ask. And you have another way to find the answers, and that is with your feelings.
Anon 3: I also did this thing where for a long time I followed angel numbers and synchronicities thinking they must be my path.
Council: Oh, it helps many, many people. And then again after a while that doesn’t seem to work because you want more. Your higher self wants you to learn you can do it easily. You can do it from your own knowledge, and the answers will come from you.
Anon 3: But most of the time I just landed in hot water by following the angel numbers and synchronicities…
Council: Ah, there’s a sign.
Anon 3: …where they were indicative that something bad was going to happen, which adds to the mistrust I now feel of the signs I receive. I’d love to know what happened there.
Council: You don’t need the angel numbers and synchronicities anymore. That’s why you created it not to work the way it did before. It’s only your way of finding a way to get guidance for yourself, a way to grow and learn how powerful it is when you can ask your higher self and get the answer from your higher self, not from anywhere else.
Anon 3: How do I know if and when I can trust the signs I’m being sent by my higher self?
Council: Because your higher self will only send you positive answers, and it will always feel good. And the outcome – whatever it’s showing you to do, or say, or the direction to go in – will always bring you experiences that are positive, that make you feel good, and help you grow more in a positive direction.
And so we send you all blessings, and thoughts of happiness, and thoughts of love and joy. And seeing the energy around you growing and becoming more beautiful. And you feel lighter than you have ever felt before because you are light. Let it shine.
Listen to the entire 12-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous Number 3 and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages. We’ll answer it as soon as we are able.
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Did I Plan To Get Married And Have Children In This Lifetime?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Anonymous N.
Anon N: My primary question is: What is my purpose or goal in this lifetime?
Council: Just to be, to jump in here and create a life and create one with love, create one that’s fun, to create things where you can help others and help yourself. It’s all to learn now, in this time of your life, to work with your mind and find a happy, loving space.
Anon N: In recent years I’ve struggled with understanding if marriage and children are planned or supported for me in this life.
Council: How does it make you feel? Question yourself. When you have the imagery in your mind of being married and having children, how does it feel? Your feelings will not lie. You’re here to learn how to work with your feelings, which is your higher self giving you the direction of which way to go.
If you love the feeling of being married, having children, and you can see a happy home, then yes. If the idea of getting married brings you doubt and not wanting to be married, not that you have to be married, but you always have a choice. Does it feel uncomfortable? If it doesn’t bring you joy, then we would say for now, marriage isn’t something you wish to create.
Anon N: But I”ve also felt that I’m not sure how much of an interest I’ve had in marriage and children and what I should focus on otherwise. At the same time, I feel I’ve cultivated a solitary life out of convenience and comfort.
Council: And if you’ve created this life, which of course you have, are you happy? Does this feeling of what you do on a daily basis bring you joy? Do you need to add something to it? Your feelings will answer you, but ask the questions.
Anon N: But I’m not sure if it makes sense for me to remain in this solitary life.
Council: You may want a solitary life for a while and then be married. Or you may love the solitary life with the freedom it will give you and you don’t want to be married. There’s no right or wrong answer. There’s no: I’m supposed to do this. You’re supposed to do what you create, what makes you feel good?
Anon N: What do I need to know or hear right now for any kind of direction?
Council: Sit and imagine each scenario. Imagine them over and over again and then always see how you feel. It will lead you in the right direction.
Look at the people around you. Are they happily married? Are they not happily married? Do you look at the people around you and say, Oh, I’d like that. I’d like to have a life like that. Or do you look at the people around you and say, No way. I don’t want to be in a steady relationship, in a marriage to one person forever. That’s not what I want. I feel I want the freedom. And follow these feelings.
See what goes on around you. There will be clues. Your higher self will bring the right people to you to show you, to give you examples, and then you’ll know what to do. It’s your job to pay attention.
Happiness and blessings to everyone. Enjoy yourself. Find your power. Every day create happiness, even if it’s for the littlest thing. Because when you’re in the vibration of happiness you’ll be able to bring into your life at any time what will give you happiness on a longer-term basis. So have fun with it.
Listen to the entire 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anonymous N and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appears at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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What Can I Do About My Unhappy Marriage?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Maria.
Maria: I’m currently stuck in an unhappy marriage and I’m trying to keep the peace for the sake of my family. We have a young adult son still living with us. My husband and I have been talking about divorce for years now, but we’re still together.
Council: Is divorce what you truly want? Is it a different kind of attention you need in your marriage? We feel there’s a big part of you that doesn’t want to move forward with this divorce. What would you need to feel good in this marriage? What is it you think you can contribute to make this work?
Remember small things about how you met and how you were attracted to your husband. Go back to the good memories and focus on that. You’ll feel a stirring inside as the memories come back. Again, is this what you want? Look for it. Concentrate on this.
If you say you’ve been talking about a divorce for years, then ask yourself why it’s been years? Is it just to keep the family together? Truthfully ask yourself that question. Is it an excuse not to move forward unless you have another partner in the wings? Something you can be sure of if you leave this marriage? That you’ll have a wonderful new relationship? There are no guarantees, but you are the creator. So what is it you wish to create?
Maria: I do love my husband and care for him, but I’ve been very sad because we argue every day and we’re more like roommates that don’t get along.
Council: So what are you arguing about? Is it that important? Is it that you’re so aware of the lack of understanding and the lack of communication that was once there? It’s always possible to bring this back.
And so again we ask you to look at what you had. Do you still want it? Do you want to bring the magic back?
Maria: My husband has some addictions, but I know he’s trying to fight them. I know he loves me in his way also.
Council: Everyone has come into their lives with the thought of having a wonderful time. No one comes here to suffer. But as life goes along, you create different things from your experiences, and different things you want to work out that you’d like to understand and then change.
Remember your husband is also a spirit in a physical body. You are a spirit in a physical body. You both are trying to learn and work things out. The way that happens is you must come from a place of love. Look at yourself and feel love for yourself. It’s in there, even though sometimes it’s hard to find. Look at your husband. Look at him knowing he’s a spirit here with his issues and his work that he wants done.
And perhaps you’ll get to understand that you can help each other learn. You can help each other through this. And that’s how you turn around the issues that you’re looking at.
Maria: I didn’t expect to meet someone very special a few years ago that I felt I knew from other lives.
Council: And so realize that you brought this person in.
Maria: We couldn’t help but fall in love with each other. Nothing happened other than some kissing and communication of love. This person died in terrible circumstances and I almost died too as a result.
Through several mediums I’ve learned we’ve met at each and every incarnation since the time of Atlantis, as we promised each other we’d do that.
Council: We don’t say that every incarnation you have been together, but if believing that helps you face whatever it is that you need in your current lifetime, then you’ll create the mediums that tell you that. And so there are many, many, many lifetimes and you aren’t always together. That doesn’t make your relationship any less.
You came to each other again in your current lifetime for whatever amount of time you’ve created where you’d be together to enjoy each other and to make each other feel good, and that is what it sounds like you did for each other. And that’s a wonderful thing.
Maria: And we’ll meet again. I know that.
Council: If that’s what you want and this other soul wants, yes, you’ll create another lifetime where you’re together. How exciting is that?
Maria: I’d love to know more about my relationship with this man. I’ve received lots of communication from him and I now know he’s one of my guides and he’s helping me and protecting me.
Council: And so how does that make you feel? Is it wonderful to know that you have a connection with this person and that he’s still helping you in your current life? What is this person showing you? When the person has passed on, they’ll always help you move forward to create a new life for yourself. Are you hearing that information? Take a look. Pay attention.
Maria: I feel so privileged. Other mediums told me that he would help me find some other man if I move away from my husband.
Council: When you connect with a spirit who has crossed over, they will never tell you, “I’ll help you if you leave such and such a person.” They’d be there sending you love knowing, and having you know, that everything will be okay. But the choices are always yours. It’s not a spirit saying, “Well I’ll help you only if you do this.” So we’d ask you to question that information from these mediums.
Maria: I also had a dream or visitation from my Mom and she was trying to prepare me for a man that’s coming to me, but I woke up before she could tell me more.
Council: And so, are you creating another man? Is this what you want? Do you want to go back to the first relationship and make it work with your husband? Or are you ready to walk away and you’re creating another man? You are the creator.
Maria: As I’m trying to heal from the most difficult loss of my life – that man I fell in love with – and learn to live with my husband and all the health problems I have, I decided to try alternative medicine. Another big surprise from the universe, the person helping me with my health seems to be another soulmate, but this time he’s the one telling me we’ve been together in other lives, helping each other, and fighting on the same side of wars.
Council: So if you look at what you’re creating, you’re desperate to feel there’s a new man in your life. You’re desperate to feel loved. You want to hear those words from another man, and this is what you’re creating. That’s wonderful if that’s what you really want. And so question yourself. Think about it. This new man doesn’t come out of nowhere into your life. You invite this in.
And so from what we see the direction you’re going in, if something were to happen where this man would disappear, we’re sure the way you think, the way what you want is being dealt with, you’d create a third man, and then a fourth, and a fifth.
So we say ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? Maybe I should stop and feel good about myself. Maybe I should love myself for a while and then take a look at this marriage. What do I need to feel happy? Do I need to feel my own power? Do I need to understand more that I’m the creator, and everything that comes into my life, whether it’s good or bad, I am bringing it? So let me now question everything I’m creating.” And you’ll learn more about yourself and what it is that you want.
Maria: It was immediate recognition with this man who was helping me with my health issues. He used the word, “buddies,” but I don’t feel that type of connection, like fighting wars together. What I feel is a more loving, comfortable, and safe feeling. I feel like hugging him a lot, but just like I love to hug my son.
I also saw in my mind one of his spiritual guides. He said I described him perfectly. I think he’s holding back telling me more about those lives, and I’m doing something similar because I didn’t tell him what I think his guide was communicating to me. It was something like he was glad we finally met, and then he smiled a lot and had an expression like, “Pass the popcorn, this is going to be interesting.”
I’d like to know more about those past lives with this new man and what I can expect from him now.
Council: You can expect whatever it is that you create.
And so we’d say at this time, don’t live in the past. Don’t try to find out about past lives. You’re here to live your current life. In a past life he could have murdered you. You could have murdered him. Or you could have been great lovers, or brothers and sisters. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’ve brought this into your current life. What is it that you want and how will you go about creating it?
Be in the present. That’s a big lesson for you in this lifetime. So we’d say, question everything you do. Question what you think about everything. Question what you want, but stay in the present.
Maria: Is he a soulmate with whom I could share my life? Or just a very good friend, or perhaps a collaborator?
Council: Again, you wish us to be the fortune teller and that’s not our job. You will create your life the way you want it to be. There’s nothing you can’t create. And so, do you want him to be the person you spend the rest of your life with? Or do you just want him there for a while and then move on? And so stay with that thought. You are the creator. What is it that you want? It’s all up to you.
Maria: I’ve suffered so much with my previous loss that now I’m not even allowing myself to dream of falling in love again.
Council: We think you are allowing this dream.
Maria: I’m still debating divorcing my husband. How can I find a way to live independently from him?
Council: Think of how it truly would be. Can you support yourself? Can you pull away from him completely and move forward? We would say it’s very questionable because now at the end of your comment, the way you started it, you are ending it. By not knowing, you are still debating whether to leave this marriage or not. And so we say to you as a clue, look at this marriage again.
Maria: My health is limiting how much I can work. I’m very creative and I’ve been thinking about writing a book and also singing. No one ever shines a light on my singing.
Council: And so you shine the light on it. Sing by yourself. Sing in your house. Sing in front of friends. Show yourself that you appreciate your singing.
You want to write a book. Sit down and begin this book. And yet you say because of your health there are some things you can’t do. So once again, if you go through with this divorce, can you support yourself? Can you get around? Look at this. It is part of what you want to do in this lifetime to challenge yourself by how you think about yourself. And so start thinking the way you want to feel about yourself. Whether you’re there or not, imagine yourself being a great author. Imagine people asking you to sing, even if it’s only at parties.
See yourself where people around you are appreciating what you can do. But before you get there you must appreciate yourself for who you are, and appreciate your gifts. So do not look to others for attention and approval. Give yourself the attention you want. Approve of yourself first and your life will truly turn around.
Listen to the entire 17-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Maria and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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How Can I Divorce My Abusive Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, LovePeace.
LovePeace: I’ve been wanting a divorce from my abusive husband, but he’s reluctant to give it. He’s doing this on the premise of our son because he doesn’t want me to get married again. Can The Council please guide me how I can come out of this situation? Any suggestions will be welcome and appreciated.
Council: You can’t change the way your husband thinks or control the way he acts. The only thing that can make this change is if you create a life where you don’t interact with your husband as much as you do now. Start living your life as if you are single and without your husband. The more you can focus, and pretend, and find experiences you can have as if you’re single, you’ll start bringing this to you.
It’s always good to wish your husband happiness so he can move on, whether he can see that he’s created a new love interest, or that you’re serious about not wanting to stay with him. It’s up to you in your daily living to have less and less connection with your husband.
This is difficult when you co-parent, but even the littlest improvement, the littlest moving away, and in your mind you constantly think you’re moving forward to your new life, to a new partner if that’s what you want, to a new job, or to a new place to live. Go in that direction.
When you keep connecting, and thinking, and getting annoyed with what you don’t want, your attention to it will create this and give it more power. Take your thoughts and your imagination away from your husband and put it on you and the happiness you can imagine you create moving forward. Everything that’s created must be created in thought first.
LovePeace: I’d like to co-parent with my husband, but I don’t want him to be my husband because for almost 10 years our relationship has never been successful, and I don’t wish to continue living a lie anymore.
I also have a question about a suggestion The Council made for me in a past session. After moving to a different state I met a person during our company gathering. We haven’t talked a whole lot, but it seems there’s a connection between us. I’d like to ask The Council if my next partner will be from my current workplace, or will he manifest later at my potential next workplace?
Council: Enjoy this connection with this new person. Focus more and more on it. Create thoughts in your mind that you talk with this person more and more, that there’s a joy you experience with this person. That happiness and that feeling of pleasure will bring more of this to you. When you can get to a place of happiness, of excitement how your life is changing, and how you’re available to meet someone else, you’ll bring that in, whether you bring it in where you work now or if you change where you work.
If you love where you work and are happy about going there, it’s easier to create a partner that will fulfill what you want. It’s harder to create a partner that will come along in an environment where you don’t want to be there. If you’re not happy where you work, the first thing would be to create a new job in the environment that you like. Because of that environment, and it’s pleasing, and it makes you feel good, you’ll be able to create a partner that you wish to be with.
We send you all blessings, and all the wonderful thoughts that would help you, the positive thoughts and the feelings that come with them, and the love that’s within you that you can experience at any time when you focus on your heart and ask for signs of who you really are. And when you do this, you’ll experience more joy and more love in your life.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for LovePeace and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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How Will My Marriage To My Husband End?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Starfish, about her marriage.
Starfish: I have a question about how my marriage to my husband might end. In a previous post The Council informed me (writing under the name, Starseed_Lightworker rather than Starfish) that after I’ve moved to the new state where my new job has led me, I’ll meet another person who’ll be perfect for me and my son.
Council: We see this, but what you think and what you’re going through has changed from when you asked your question before compared to where you are now. You create on a minute-to-minute basis. The direction the relationship is going now is for it to end. It will end the way you and your husband decide it will end, but with the thinking, feeling, and experiences we see, it’s going in the direction of ending.
Starfish: My husband recently moved with me and my son to our new state in the hope we can stay together, but we’re going through the exact same drama we’ve been living for the last ten years.
Council: It’s wonderful you see this.
Starfish: We’re just not perfect for each other. I’ve also been told I’ll stay friends with my husband, which I prefer considering the co-parenting I’d like to do for my son.
Council: This would be a wonderful thing if that’s the direction you wish to go in. See this, focus on it, and on being friends, and being able to co-parent.
Starfish: I’ve been told my husband will live far from my son and me, and he’ll teach me lessons about independence.
Council: Are you learning independence already? We see it’s there in front of you – the moving away, raising your son by yourself, being able to make good decisions out of a desire to move forward rather than out of fear, and not being so tied into what your husband wants or how he wants it. It’s all about what you want, and how you feel independent in what you’re doing now.
Starfish: I’d like to ask if my husband is planning on moving to India when the marriage is over, or will he stay in the USA.
Council: The direction he’s going in right now is to stay in the USA, but how the relationship is handled and how you treat each other has the ability to change this. We ask you to remember what you think and what you do changes all the time. You can have things work out and have your husband stay in the USA, or you can have him move to India and have things work out, or you can have your husband move to India and have things not work out.
The way you create your life all comes from you., and we stress that you are the creator of your life. Look at this. What do you want? How do you want your life to be? Focus on this and meditate on it. Feel things working out the way you want. At this time it’s very important you do this work. It’s critical right now to take what you want and work with it every single day.
See how it is. Do you wish him to stay in the USA and for you to move on, meet someone else, and have a different life? Do you want your husband to stay in the USA, and still be friends, and co-parent? Do you want him to move to India and still co-parent? What do you want? You are the creator.
Starfish: Can The Council please guide me if the end of my marriage will be an extramarital affair from either side?
Council: We don’t see that. That can be created, but we don’t see that now.
Starfish: My husband threatens that he’ll take his life and my life if I end our marriage. I’d like to know if he can do this for real, or is he just using this threat as blackmail.
Council: He’s using this threat because he is in fear because he doesn’t think he can actually do this. Don’t feed this thought. Don’t walk around thinking all the time that he’ll kill himself, he’ll kill me, and he’ll kill my son. That kind of thinking only focuses more attention on the fear and brings what you don’t want to you. Think about this as a thought your husband had that isn’t working and that you won’t allow in your reality. Focus on the way you see this. It’s very important to let go of fear tactics, to stay in the light, and to think positive thoughts.
Starfish: I feel so alone and I’m trying to find strength and happiness in this situation.
Council: You’re never alone. There are guides, there are angels, and there are masters around you to help you. When you stay in the vibration of fear, you can’t receive the higher vibration information about how to move on in your life. That’s why we say not to focus on the fear tactics. Hear what you’re afraid of, let it go, and move on to the way you want it to be. You’ll lose the feeling of being alone, you’ll feel better about yourself, you’ll feel more in charge, and you’ll feel very happy.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Starfish and the rest of us. We apologize for the quality of this recording. You can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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I Feel My Marriage Won’t Let Me Move Forward With What I Want
This post answers some follow-up questions for The Council from a reader named, Angie. Angie previously asked The Council some questions which we answered in our post, Why Do I Feel So Drawn To This Man?
Angie: I do have another part to what I’d like to ask regarding my husband, Chris. First, I felt that I needed to get clarification on my connection to Brent (a co-worker – see previous post) as that has been weighing heavily on my mind. Is Brent aware of the kind of connection we share from other lifetimes and that we both pre-planned to come together in our current life to support each other? If not, how can I help him understand?
Council: He’s not aware of anything more than a friendship. If you want him to open up to more than that and question what you both have in this relationship, you’d have to visualize that, but allow him to be who he is. At this time we don’t advise you to push for Brent to be more than a friend. Be a good friend and companion to him. You can talk about things you have in common. You can make that apparent, but his growth and desire to learn more about you must come from him.
Angie: Although my husband and I have remained married for almost 24 years, I haven’t felt we were always aligned with each other. We’ve had our ups and downs, but something was missing between us. I don’t think we ever connected on the level I was looking for in a marriage.
Council: In this connection you’re looking for did you look at your husband from your heart? Did you look for loving things about him even when things are difficult? Do you connect by realizing your husband is also a spirit, and he has his challenges and feelings he needs to work through? Did you connect by appreciating your husband and looking for all the good things in your marriage? When you look for these things, you’ll find them.
Angie: In between our down times, Chris and I had many good years.
Council: That’s wonderful, and it’s good to think about and remember that.
Angie: But when I decided to go back to school, it was the most challenging time. It was challenging because I had to balance taking care of our two sons, focus on my studies, and try to have Chris understand that completing my degree was important to me and will bring success to our family.
Council: Do you know that you created all this and you both agreed to experience this challenge? Did you know you wanted to create this challenge to see if you could handle it so that you’d feel good about yourself? Did your husband agree to this challenge to learn to see you differently, or handle jealousy? There are different reasons this challenge was created, but because you both went through this, it’s something you both want to learn from.
Angie: The extra challenge was how Chris seemed upset with me for what I felt was being focused on my education. After all my hard work during a semester and taking my final exam one weekend, Chris accused me of being with someone else. It was the most hurtful thing to hear him say. There were other moments where I had to tell him I would continue to reach for my goals with or without him.
After I graduated and had a full-time job lined up, things smoothed out. Chris was happier and I thought I’d be happier along side him. I was happy for the next couple years. By this time both our sons were attending college and I was paying their tuition and room and board.
Council: We’d ask you to review what was going on that you were happy for a couple years. Take a good look at that and see what you created and what you went through. What was Chris going through?
Angie: I was able to provide my sons with financial support mostly because we didn’t have a mortgage. Things were going well for us. Chris and I decided to look into buying a new house, but it didn’t work out. I felt is wasn’t the right time. He kept pushing for us to buy a house. I still felt it wasn’t the right time and I explained to him, I’m paying quite a bit in tuition for our boys, including my own expenses and tuition loans. I wasn’t going to take on extra expenses that would come with buying a home. Instead of receiving his understanding, he reacted with a threat of divorce.
Council: In that do you realize you learned to make a boundary, and what you wanted to experience, and what you didn’t want to experience. Look at how you’ve grown, and how you were clear with what you wanted, and you were able to voice it.
Angie: Chris threatened divorce one other time. This was the turning point for me to focus on myself even more. I’m left wondering if our coming together was to have our children and provide for them up to the time they’d begin to create their own lives.
Council: That was part of what your lives are about.
Angie: I know I’ve had a lot of personal growth and I’ve noticed my husband seems to be stuck in the same place and not moving towards his goals as much. This has made it feel like we’re growing apart. Has our marriage run it’s course?
Council: It’s only run it’s course if you decide that’s what you want. If It’s what you want, you’ll create it to go in that direction. It’s really all up to you. That’s one of the great understandings we all need to learn when we create a reality. It’s all up to you.
Angie: I feel the urge to move forward with what I want and I don’t think I’ll be able to fully do this while I’m married to Chris. I do love and care for him very much, but I want to go toward what’s fulfilling and brings happiness.
Council: Meditate on this. Picture yourself going forward with your husband and picture your life without him. What feels better? You’ll always know by how it feels. Do you wish to stay in this marriage and work out the problems? Is this something you wish to create and grow from? Or is it time that you wish to be on your own?
There isn’t any wrong answer. You’ll experience what you need to experience. Your higher self, which is you, is in control and well aware of what you want to create in this life. The best thing is to remain calm, meditate, and visualize what you want.
And so we wish you all love, and light, and happiness, and gratitude on your path. Be supportive of one another and love yourself, as well as others in your life. And remember every single day, you’re all spirits in a physical body, and you’ll create whatever you focus on. Even if you focus on something negative, you’ll create that. We urge you to have positive thoughts, laugh as much as you can, have fun, remember the wonderful and happy memories, and stay in the positive.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Angie and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Should I Stay Married to My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Starseed_Lightworker, who says, I’m at a crossroads in my life and I’d appreciate your guidance in the decision I want to make. My husband and I have had various issues since the beginning of our marriage and it’s been ten years now. I was in an abusive relationship for a long time, and then I decided to love myself and be self-dependent. I was in such a miserable situation earlier in my life that I felt like committing suicide a couple of times during that phase, but my love for my young child kept me alive. By hard work and the grace of God I’m now in a position to take care of myself and my child. The thing is that my husband seems to have changed during the last three years, but I can’t forget what he and his family did to me earlier.
The Council asks you to remember that your husband is on his own journey, and there are challenges and issues that he wishes to learn about, even though you don’t know what this is. We think it’s wonderful that you’ve begun to see the change in your husband. And it’s wonderful that you’ve gone ahead and become what you planned in spirit to become in this life, which was to be powerful, independent, and to do it all yourself and not need another person to do things for you. You don’t have to suffer through abuse or the fear of abandonment. You’ve changed your path and in your lifetime you’ve created the path you wanted to find.
Starseed says, Going forward my plan is to keep doing better work in the office and study part-time in a university while doing work to support myself and my child. Eventually when my child grows up I plan to retire, travel, and do more spiritual and teaching work. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone for money, happiness, and taking care of me. I want to do it all myself. The Council says they see you’re already on this path.
Starseed says, I’ve begun to find solace in loneliness now. The Council says you’re beginning to find solace with yourself, not with loneliness. There’s quite a difference.
Starseed says, I have a very good job opportunity in a different state. It’s remote work right now, but I can move there if I want, which would be a fresh start for me and my child and a different way of living life. The Council says this was also something you wanted to create. You wanted to create travel, have the ability to move around, and be successful wherever you are. Look at what you’ve done. You’ve already brought this opportunity into your life.
Starseed says, The difficult decision I need to make is, should I continue staying with my husband for the sake of my child having a father. Or should I move on and build a new life for myself and my child? At the current moment I like my husband as a friend since he’s changed from his abusive patterns, but I’ve lost the love.
The Council says, Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to remain friends, but not be together as partners? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a friend that lives nowhere near you, but you can communicate in whatever way you wish and whatever time you want? We see what you’ve planned and you’ve planned to move on. We see there’s great success in your future if you stay on the path you wanted to create for yourself, and we see you’re doing a wonderful job of this. You’ll have another love in your life if you wish to not stay with your husband.
You’ve done so much and taken yourself so far. Would you hold yourself back now when you have the opportunity to move on? And as you move on, the work you do will change and your career will change. You have the opportunity if you really want this. If you’re afraid to leave right now, you can leave in the future. We see this is there for you. It’s what you’ve created. But we’d ask you, why would you come so far and hold yourself back? There’s no wrong answer. You will move forward. You’ll decide when. You have the power to make this move happen when you’re ready, and this is a beautiful thing.
Starseed says, I don’t know whether I can love my husband again considering the history. At the same time, I’m also not sure if there will be love for me outside of this marriage. Can The Council please guide me and provide some input. The Council says they are so happy for you. It’s hard for some people after they leave the spirit world. They have all these plans and one thing or another gets in the way. Or their plans change, which is fine. But you have created so much of what you wanted, of what you planned when you were in spirit. You’re a powerful soul. You’ll go forward in this life, whether it’s right now or five years from now.
You are right on track. You’re doing exactly what you wanted to do, and that’s a wonderful thing. We here are so happy for you. We’re proud that you’ve stayed on the path. We know it wasn’t easy, but you took your situation and changed it. Love yourself. Hug yourself. Kiss the mirror as you look at yourself. You’ve come a long way and we wish you much happiness and speed on your journey.
Stay friends with your husband, if that’s possible. Know that when you’re ready and when you want it, you’ll bring in another person to love. If you stay on your path, whether you go now or later, there’s another love and a successful future waiting for you. As much as you can, create in your mind how you think your life would be when you move on. Imagine where you want to live, how you want to work, and how you’d like to spend your free time. The more you focus on these things, the more you’ll know when it’s time to do what you want to do. The choice is always yours.
If you’re afraid at this moment, or you choose to stay and six months, a year, two years, three years later, you don’t like that you stayed, there’s no problem. Then you make another decision and change what you do. Go in the direction you want. Whether you go now or later it doesn’t matter. You are the creator. And while you’re trying to decide, imagine in every detail you can, the way you wish your life to be and all your answers will come.
We wish you all happiness, success, and most of all love and joy. Find the fun and joy on your path. If you feel you don’t have it, head towards it, imagine it, and know you are the creator. What you think of, what you say, what you write, what you visualize over and over is how you’re planning your future.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Starseed_Lightworker and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it. And you can ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Is It Time To Separate From My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused and Sad, who says, I’ve been married for close to 30 years. The last few years have had me reflect on how different my husband and I are, and how much we’ve grown apart. It seems our history and our finances are the main reason we’re still together. My husband is a good man, but we have very little, if anything, in common. We rarely agree on anything and this makes me very sad. I feel in my heart we’d both be happier apart, and perhaps have a chance to find a true partner who can make us happy.
The Council says the pre-planning of this marriage in spirit comes from a lifetime where you were both married to other people and you were very mean and selfish with your partners. You felt stuck in these marriages. You didn’t know each other in that life, but there was always the thought to find someone better. You thought you were with people who weren’t pretty, weren’t handsome, weren’t intelligent, people that made you feel closed in, or had nothing in common with you. And both your spirits were willing to work on the same issues so you decided to do it together in your current lifetime.
When you came into your current life it was to come together and learn how to accept who the other person is, whatever their issues were. You wanted to learn how to allow someone to be different. You don’t have to have all these things in common. You wanted to learn how to love yourself and not to look for someone new that would make you happy and feel loved. You must love yourself.
And then you took it a step further and you decided that because you were so selfish and mean in your past life, in your current life when you learned how to accept your spouse for who they were, you were going to try to help them feel good about themself. You were going to take the focus off of you and how miserable you felt, and how this person wasn’t making you happy, and try to do something for this other person,. and give of yourself. And in that you’d feel the change within yourself, and you’d feel better and more love for yourself.
At first we imagine this may be difficult, but when you see you’re focusing on the other person and allowing them to take in this beautiful energy you’re sending by trying to do something for them, or just the energy of letting them be who they are, what you’re looking for in other people you’ll find in yourselves. When you find it in yourselves, you’ll realize both of you created this situation in this marriage. You’re exactly where you need to be to realize: How can I fix this? I love this person, but I don’t, because there’s someone who’d be prettier or handsomer, someone that would give me more attention, someone that would make me feel happier than I am. All of this love comes from within you, not from another person.
When you ask yourself to be nicer, to be understanding, to say to yourself, Today let me do this for this person or with this person, knowing it’s something that person likes, you will be so proud of yourself, and the feeling you want to have in a marriage will return. It will not only return, but it will be better than it was.
Confused says, We’ve both tried to make each other happy for the sake of the children and family, but we’re just two very different people. The Council says, Isn’t that wonderful. Look at what you can learn from being two totally different people.
Confused says, We’re both scared to leave because we’re all each other has known for so many years. The Council says of course the feeling of being scared will come up because you know this isn’t what you wanted. You don’t want to flee your marriage. You didn’t plan to go off and find something else. You both created this situation so you could grow within yourself and for each other.
Confused says, I know we’re both confused and scared because separation or divorce can be just as difficult as staying together. The Council says if you were to do this and move on, the happiness you’re looking for you won’t find somewhere else. It’s within this marriage, it’s within yourselves that you wanted to grow and learn, and you will feel this.
Confused says, I’ve tried to figure out why we would have chosen each other, what lessons we were supposed to learn. Is it finally time to move on and co-create the life we’d both like to live? And perhaps find true love with a partner more suited for each of us that can make us happy?. The Council says this other partner you’re looking for will be no different because you both planned to live your life this way.
Confused says, We do try and communicate and work things out, but our thought processes are just so completely different. The Council says, Isn’t it wonderful?. Do you stop and wonder what your spouse is thinking of? Do you try to understand it? Do you try and see it? And you don’t have to agree with each other. That’s the most wonderful thing. You can still have your beliefs and your ways of thinking, but how interesting it would be to see how your spouse’s mind works. And you can learn much from this. Let go of being rigid and thinking we have different ideas. What can you learn from this? Maybe it would be fun for you to think this way. Or maybe you can learn from thinking this way. It’s all opportunities in front of you.
If you feel you don’t want to stay in this marriage, it’s always your choice. You’ll create it again because the lessons you want to learn are right here. All the opportunities are right here for you.
Confused says, Our thought processes are just so completely different that it never ends well. We just seem to see things completely differently. The Council says, And so you argue and you fight because you don’t agree because you think differently. When you go to school the teacher thinks differently than a student. The student in the back of the room could be thinking differently than a student in the front. You don’t fight over this. You listen and learn from it. But most important, you allow the person to be who they are. And that’s the most wonderful gift you can give anyone.
Confused closes by asking, Have we learned all we can from each other, and is it finally time to move on? The Council says we’ve given you the answer. We wish you so much fun on your journey. Take your focus off your disagreeing, your not having things in common, off the fighting and difficulty communicating. Take your focus and say, This is another spirit who’s agreed with me to come into this reality to create this situation. While we go through it we’re going to learn about each other. Most importantly we’re going to learn about ourselves. Are we able to accept others if they’re not like us? Because your purpose in this life is to bring love into this reality.
Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and Scared and let us know what you feel about it. You can also ask The Council your own question by typing it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most of our blog pages.
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Why Would I Choose This Life and How Can I Have Hope?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Mari, who wonders why she’d choose the life she’s living and how she can have hope? Mari says, I had a very unhappy childhood. I’ve been depressed all my life and I discovered I wasn’t able to practice a profession I prepared for because of a cognitive impairment, which could be due to the long-lasting depression. I’m currently working in an unfulfilling job. I’m on medication that isn’t working after trying many. I’m unhappy and feel trapped in my marriage. I don’t have many friends or much support except for mental health professionals. Sometimes life seems like it’s too much. Can you advise what to do? It just seems so hopeless.
The Council says for you, because of your depression and hopeless feeling, we’d suggest reading the three Emmanuel books by Pat Rodegast and Ask And It Is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This will lighten your vibration a little.
We feel the depression you’re going through can be changed if you learn to do the chakra breathing we recommend in other posts, learn to meditate, and start reading more spiritual books. Do these every day. We feel that in time when you start to understand who you truly are as a spiritual being and what you can create, your depression will lessen and in time you won’t need the medication you’ve been taking. But you must take the step of working on yourself first.
Find thoughts that make you happy, even if you make these thoughts up and they haven’t really happened, but they are thoughts of things you want to happen. This will lighten your vibration and you’ll see, as you feel lighter and lighter, your life will begin to change for the better.
We see what you’ve created is finding another form of employment that would ideally be outside and more with nature, either working on a farm or in a nursery. If that isn’t possible, maybe working in a plant store. Be around nature. For you, walking barefoot in water would help. All of this will change how you feel. It will help your career and your marriage.
What keeps you down is the looking outward. You think the marriage and the job isn’t what you want, but it is what you want. And it will be more of what you want if you work on yourself with your good thoughts, meditation, chakra breathing, and reading the spiritual books. This will begin to turn your life around and turn it into more of what you want.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Mari and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it. Unfortunately the the quality of this recording and the recording in the next post isn’t up to our usual standards. We apologize for this and we hope to avoid this situation in the future.
If you’d like to ask The Council your own question you can type it into one of the Comment boxes that appear at the bottom of most blog pages.
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Does My Dead Husband Want to Continue Our Marriage?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, AlwaysMrs, who asks if her husband wants to continue their marriage. As you read this post you’ll understand AlwaysMrs’ husband recently passed away, but her question doesn’t make that quite clear.
After commenting that they know AlwaysMrs’ husband has passed away, The Council says when you’re in spirit you’re feeling love for the person you were married to and all the people you were married to in all your lifetimes. This love never goes away. You might say we’re all partners and we’re all married to each other. We’re all connected. In spirit your husband is still connected to you. It’s not the same as if he was here in physical reality, but the love and the connection you shared are still there.
AlwaysMrs says, I’ve received mixed messages where sometimes the message is: Yes, he’ll forever be my husband. He’ll do everything in his power to be what I need and want. I don’t need to find someone else and he doesn’t want me to be with someone else.
The Council says when you’re in spirit you’d never wish a person to be alone and not find and experience love again. It’s all part of the journey. Your husband would love you to move on. He wants you to remember him and remember the love you shared, but now move forward in your life with all the other experiences you want to live through while you’re still in a human reality. A spirit would always want you to love someone else and to move on.
AlwaysMrs says others give general messages like: He wants you to move on and be happy, alluding to finding another person to love. The Council says when you think of him you’ll still feel the love he sends to you. And that’s to help you do whatever the next step is in your life that you want to do.
AlwaysMrs says, I want to continue our marriage and strengthen our connection as he lives on. The Council says he lives on in spirit. You are still in a physical reality. You can strengthen your connection by meditating, by speaking to your husband every day, and imagining him walking through life with you, but that doesn’t open you up to creating others in your physical reality.
AlwaysMrs says, Because I can’t directly hear from my husband and have to rely on mediums, I don’t know how he feels right now. The Council says please don’t rely on mediums or anyone else. Meditate. Connect with the spirit of your husband. Talk to him and you’ll get the answers you need. If you don’t hear these answers in words, you’ll just know the answer to a question. You’ll know what’s the next step to take. Answers come differently when they come from spirit.
AlwaysMrs says she wants to know if her husband wants to continue the marriage the way she does and if he’ll try to make our marriage work with me until we’re together again. The Council says your husband wishes you to be happy. You’ve chosen to experience things in a physical reality and that means meeting other people, having other experiences, and moving on with your life. There’s nothing your husband is able to do in the spirit world that will keep the two of you married. He’ll send you love and he’ll cheer you on to move forward with any other relationships in any way you wish to go in your physical reality.
Focus on your life in your physical reality. You won’t lose your connection with your husband. What your higher self planned with your husband and what he wants for you now is to move on and live your life. There are other things you planned, even though you don’t know what that is at this time. It’s good to stay connected to your husband, to love him, to remember the love you shared with him, but focus on the here and now. There are other things you wish to do.
AlwaysMrs says, I don’t want to pursue a relationship he doesn’t want anymore. I know how my husband felt before, but obviously things have changed and I need to know how he feels now. The Council says when you’re in spirit you perceive things differently. Where he is you wouldn’t say, I don’t want to pursue this relationship because my husband doesn’t want it anymore. Where he is you’re always connected.
AlwaysMrs says, I still need to know how my husband feels and how we move forward as still married or not. The Council says you appreciate the life you had in your physical reality. You feel the love you had. You connect with your husband on another level by meditating and know you’re connected. The love that’s there is there for you now to help you create the different experiences you want to have in the future.
The Council closes by saying only love is real. When you go into spirit you take this love with you. When you’re in spirit and you come into a physical reality you take this love with you again. That’s what we’re all about.
Listen to the entire 8-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for AlwaysMrs and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or you can ask The Council your own question by writing it in a Comment box at the bottom of most blog pages.
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Why Did I Have a Loving Childhood and Now I’m Surrounded By Difficult Men?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Serenity, who says she’s a kind woman who comes from a wonderful family and grew up with minimal problems and nothing but love. When I got married we were happy at first, but as the years went by we grew apart and now have nothing in common.
The Council says they don’t see Serenity’s situation the same as she does. You have much in common with your husband and much more to accomplish with him. The feeling of drifting apart is caused by not connecting on a deeper level about moving forward. This relationship isn’t over.
Feeling you’re not connected with your husband allows you space to bring other souls into your life if that’s what you planned. It’s an opportunity to face life’s challenges and happy moments and have experience with another spirit.
Serenity says, we’re married 35 years. Several years ago I rekindled communication with my first love who had become a severe alcoholic and I’m helping him slowly get better.
The Council asks how you’re helping this man. Are you supporting the process of healing himself? You won’t heal anyone. The decision to heal is up to that spirit and it’s your place to accept what they’re going through. Whether he heals and becomes sober or stays with the alcoholism, your purpose is to be a watcher, a supporter, and allow him to be who he is. This is what you planned in spirit.
Serenity says, although my original feelings have changed, I still love both men in different ways. The Council says your feelings haven’t changed, they’re just refocused at the moment.
Serenity says, I’m confused about my purpose in life and why, after being brought up in such a loving environment, I seem to be surrounded by extremely difficult men.
The Council says this gives you a foundation for what you want to create going forward. If you were brought up in a loving environment, did you plan to face challenges and learn from them, and then change these challenges into a loving reality? The loving beginning of your life gave you something so when you get in other relationships, can you create a loving atmosphere. See if you can have a partner that’s also loving to help you find that loving feeling. It’s to learn what you’re currently going through isn’t what you want, but you’ll experience it and this will help you know what to create going forward?
Serenity says, all I ever wanted in life was a simple, intelligent, honest man to love me, have common interests, travel, and enjoy a beautiful life together. I’d like to know my purpose in life and why this has been so difficult to achieve in this incarnation.
The Council sees you wished to have the beautiful and perfect relationship that you have when you’re in spirit. You wanted to experience this in your current lifetime. You can still have this by focusing on what you want. How much of it do you have with this man you’re helping with alcoholism? How much of this experience do you have with your husband? Then refocus your thoughts and concentrate solely on the fact that you’ve had loving relationships in your youth and you need to create it again with these two men in your life.
When you feel this love around you, then you can make a choice to be with one of these men or keep both of them in your life. You came into this lifetime to have love at the beginning of your life and then have challenges. We are here to bring love into every challenge we have, no matter what that challenge is.
As you focus your thoughts and bring in better thoughts, the people around you will feel the change and it will help them move through their challenges and grow. You’ll be a beacon of light and help them through whatever it is they wish to learn.
The Council thanks Cynthia and Bob for bringing in this information to all the souls who need to know there’s more to life than the human condition you’re experiencing, to hear our words, and to connect with their higher selves. This way each one of us, if we grow even an inch, we bring everyone else on this planet with us.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Serenity and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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Is My Life Purpose to Save My Husband from Himself?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Amy, after she read a post we wrote called, “Help Leaving an Abusive Husband“. Amy says she wishes she read that post four years ago, but I probably wouldn’t have understood it then. I shared every emotion and felt every pain of the abusive relationship this woman spoke of about the struggle of leaving. I spent ten years of my life trying to live with this inner hell or fix it for the sake of my children, my career, my house, fear I’d be less happy alone than in an abusive relationship, and on and on. I placed one obstacle in front of another giving myself a reason to stay. I lived in fear and obsessed about the emotional abuse and my husband’s substance abuse I was allowing myself and my children to be subjected to day in and day out.
The Council says it’s wonderful you can look back and see what you allowed to happen. Now you can see how your marriage affected you and your children.
Amy says she spoke of nothing else to my friends and my therapist. For a long time I thought I was being punished and this was my fate. The Council says they hope you realize there was no one punishing you. It was an experience you needed to have and to work through, to see it and go forward with your life from where you are.
Amy says thank God I found teachers like you, Abraham, and several others. Over the last 18 months I feel I have come so far. I’m in the process of divorce, at peace with it, and I can’t wait to see how the next chapter of my life unfolds. What used to feel hopeless now feels limitless. I’m okay with not knowing, surrendering, and having big dreams. I don’t feel the abuse like I used to. It feels far away from me now and I’m starting to see the lessons my husband taught me. If only I made these changes ten years ago perhaps I’d have been able to save my marriage.
The Council says you couldn’t save this marriage on your own. These were experiences you wanted to have. Now that you’ve gone through it and experienced the challenges and the hardship you wanted, now you’re able to change your life.
Amy says through meditation I’m trying to see my husband and I feel sorry for what I see because I don’t think he loves himself. The Council says the emotion of feeling sorry for your husband doesn’t do either of you any good. You need to send your husband love and light even if you don’t agree with what he’s going through or how he handles it. These are his lessons.
Amy asks The Council if her life purpose is to help her husband and save him from himself. The Council says no, it’s not. One of the things you agreed to before coming into this lifetime was to help your husband with his challenges, watch him, see what he’s going through, and learn from these experiences. You didn’t agree to save him. What you’re supposed to do is send light and love. You can’t get your husband to change. This is something he has to come to in his own time. Helping and understanding doesn’t mean staying in an abusive relationship. Send him the energy that’ll help push him through his challenges if and when he’s ready. That’s your purpose.
Amy says I feel like I failed my husband and our children on some level because I’ve been down this road with him before. The Council says you haven’t failed your husband or your children. Remember, in spirit before you came into this lifetime, you, your husband, and your children agreed to experience what you’ve been going through. They’re all lessons you wanted to experience. Know you’re on the right path. How you handle what you experience will make it change for you. It will help you to see it in a different way and help you move through it.
Amy says my Mom fell ill and passed away and my husband made this time very difficult. That was the catalyst for me. The pain brought me to a spiritual awakening and I’m now so thankful. The Council says we’d like you to pay attention to what you’ve said, which is the pain that brought you to a spiritual awakening. The pain did what it was supposed to do.
Amy says that was two years ago and asks The Council if this is guilt. The Council says of course this is guilt. It’s part of the human condition, but it’s not necessary. Remember that you, your children, and your husband are spirit and you’ve all agreed to create the drama that’s been going on. How you look at this and change it, and how you look forward with thoughts of happiness that you can create whatever you need to create is what’s important right now. Always send each other light and help them, but accept them as they are.
If your husband doesn’t behave the way you’d like him to behave, it’s because he’s still working on his challenges. Your husband isn’t in your life to meet what you expect from him. Wish him well, send him love, and hopefully when he’s ready, he’ll move through his challenges.
Listen to the entire 12-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Amy and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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Why Am I With My Husband Rather Than the Love of My Life?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Confused, who says her soulmate (who’s the love of her life) lives in another country and I’m unable to be with him. I don’t understand why I’d choose this separation when there’s no one I’d rather be with and would have been ecstatic to spend my life with him.
The Council says you planned in spirit to experience the feeling of having this love of your life, and then be given a chance to work through this to see there’s not just one soul you can have this kind of relationship with. You planned to let go of the belief you can have only one love. There are many souls that will come in and out of your life. If you allow it to happen, there’s another person that will come into your life and fill this loving role.
You want to see there’s always a way to change what you’re going through. There’s always a way to create love in your life in any way you need it. Work through this belief you have only one love and you’re life is stuck because you can’t be with this person. Release these unhappy thoughts there isn’t any joy in your life or other love for you. You created this situation to experience the change you’re able to make in your life if you’re open to it.
Confused says she’s married, but I have little in common with my husband, and I don’t want to break up my family. The Council says you don’t always need a lot in common with your spouse. You’re together to see what you have in common and what you don’t have in common, to see what this other soul is like and what he’s capable of. Are you willing to help your husband advance in this lifetime? Are you willing to show love to your husband and allow yourself to feel the love in return? That’s your purpose for being together.
Bob asks if Confused can have a loving relationship with her husband similar to the love of her life. The Council says if you go through life thinking your soulmate is far away, I can’t be with him, I have to settle for something less, then how you see your life and your beliefs about your relationships would never allow this to happen.
The Council says they don’t know what Confused is going to create as she goes through this lifetime. It was spiritually planned to be married to her husband and maybe not see her marriage as the love of her life. But when she understands it’s not possible to be with her love, can she have the faith and trust to let him go and give her husband a chance. Or if that isn’t possible because of Confused’s beliefs, then she can create something new. Variety is an important aspect of learning how to create. You aren’t stuck here in an unhappy marriage. With your thoughts and beliefs it’s possible to change what you think a marriage is into something you’d like it to be.
The Council says Confused chose both to be with her husband and to experience the man in the foreign country as the love of her life even though she couldn’t be with him.
Confused says she wants to share her next life with her true love without any complications. The Council says if you want to create a new life with this man you feel is the love of your current life, and if that soul is open to this, you’ll create it.
The Council says Confused’s purpose in her current life is to be in her marriage where she doesn’t feel her husband is the love of her life. The purpose is to look differently at your husband and see what this soul is really all about. Give this person a chance to grow. Be there for your husband.
The purpose you chose for this lifetime was to meet one person who you believe is the love of your life, but to have a husband who’s already in your life, and see just how wonderful your marriage can be if you give it a chance and see your husband differently. Feel gratitude for having your husband in your life. Realize you’ve chosen this, whether you believe it or not, or whether you think it makes you happy or not.
How can you send love to your husband? How can you change the way you feel about your husband by looking at him through the eyes of love? You are souls that have come together to experience this life together and see where that takes you.
Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Confused and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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Why Can’t I Find Someone Who Loves Me?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, N, who says she’s been told by many mediums that her mission concerns education and she just landed a competitive job in higher education. However this job is in a small town and for me, a perpetually single woman, it’s statistically unlikely I’ll meet my ideal partner there.
I’ve been dreaming, envisioning, praying for, and trying to find a partner for the better part of the last decade with no success. Not even a single relationship and this is killing me inside to the point where I don’t care about this education mission anymore. Why was I able to create a job in higher education I didn’t care about, but the thing I want most, which is to find someone who loves, desires, and chooses me fails completely?
The Council says coming into this lifetime what you wanted was a loving relationship with a partner and a family. You put out there that after you found your desired partner you’d then create a career. We see you intended having a fun career that has a lot to do with younger children, not higher education.
It’s wonderful that you prayed for a relationship, but when you saw what you were trying to create wasn’t happening, did you try looking at your life differently? Your job in higher education lowered your vibration because your spirit knew this wasn’t what you wanted to create first. The Council says you wanted to move around a bit, have an adventure, find a partner while you were on this adventure, and then create your lives together.
In your imagination where would you like to visit or live? And when you travel to these places, don’t go out of desperation. Go out of a sense of ease, expectation, and love you’ll find the relationship you’re looking for.
There’s not enough joy in your current job. You can’t find great happiness and fulfillment in a career you feel you don’t want. Your life has stalled and a change must be made. You have to look at your life differently. The vibration you carry around with you affects your relationship, your career, your health, and family. Your #1 focus needs to be finding a relationship
With years of praying, imagining, and hoping for a relationship and nothing happens, your vibration becomes dense and the feeling of great joy and interest in other subjects can’t come through. Continue to look for the relationship you want, try to enjoy the job you’ve found, and think about doing this job until you find where you want to live. Think about traveling and finding your partner on your travels. When you think about your life this way your vibration begins to rise and you become more of a magnet to new ideas and have the courage to go on this journey.
Begin to look around at other places you’d consider visiting or would like to live and go there. You need to get out of where you are. You don’t think you’ll find a relationship in the small town where you live because you know somewhere in your subconscious you set up this life in spirit to find a partner on a journey and there would be lots of happiness and fun traveling and learning together.
You can stay in your current job for now. There’s no rush to move. Don’t be so frustrated thinking this isn’t what you wanted because this changes your vibration and makes it difficult to create what you want. Enjoy your work and be grateful for it any way you can. Think of it as where you are right now and try to enjoy it knowing you won’t be stuck there, research where you’d like to visit, and then begin to travel.
The most important thing is for you to change the way you feel, which is stuck someplace that’s a punishment in a career you don’t like. All of this is in the way of creating the relationship you desire.
Listen to the entire 11-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for N and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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Married but Attracted to Another Man
This post answers questions for The Council from an anonymous reader who says her mother died recently, we’re moving Dad, I’m getting frequent headaches, feeling family stresses, seeing cracks in my marriage, and feeling isolated. I have deep feelings for a man who isn’t mine. I have a good partnership with my husband, but we’re different people and there are limits to the connection. I love my family, but feel burdened.
The Council asks when you’re in a marriage you say is good, but you’re attracted to another person, if this new person in your life wasn’t there would you still think there are cracks in your marriage?
The attraction you have towards this other person doesn’t have the intention behind it to work out romantically in your current lifetime. If you can understand this man has come into your life to be a friend and you know him from another lifetime, can you appreciate and live with this and still have your private life?
If you’re so attracted to this man that you’re unable to function around him and it’s making cracks in your marriage, take a look at this. This has to do with you and not this other man, not your husband, and not the death of your mother. This has happened so you can ask yourself what you want.
The Council says in another reality very similar to your current lifetime, you and this man are together romantically. Many people don’t understand that other parts of your spirit are living in other realities and your romantic relationship with this man can be working out in one of those realities. Does this make you feel good? Is it enough for you to know that you’re experiencing this romantic relationship in another reality?
But you’re here in the present to focus on the present. What do you want in your here and now? You find yourself attracted to this man and The Council says everything is possible, but you didn’t pre-plan in spirit to get together romantically with this man in your current lifetime. You pre-planned to learn about other realities, to learn how you create, to learn there are many different parts of you living at once in different realities, and to learn how you can have something in one reality but not in another.
As you become more practiced in meditation you begin to know that you already have everything you want. It’s already happening. In your current reality you’re here to learn a certain lesson, in another reality it’s another lesson, and in a third reality it’s yet another lesson. These lessons can be with different versions of all the same people. But isn’t it fun to know you can have what you want? You have what you desire in a vibrational reality as soon as you start to imagine it. If it’s not enough, then take all your focus, every day, and focus on creating it by feeling the way you want your life to be. Eventually it must come to you, but be sure it’s what you want.
Even though your day to day living may be difficult right now you need to experience it. Your headaches are because you’re jumping from reality to reality and you’re not grounding enough. The Council recommends listening to the Chakra Meditations post. You need to surround yourself in white light so that you become clear about what you want and how you want to experience it.
Listen to the 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for this anonymous reader and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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Why Am I So Attracted to This Man if I’m in a Stable Marriage?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Stella, who recently met a man she calls, “E”, who she has an intense connection with. Stella and E are drawn to each other and she feels so alive and at peace when they’re together. I can see E and me in a loving and supportive relationship, however I’m in a stable and, I thought, happy marriage and I love and respect my husband.
The Council asks Stella if E hadn’t come along would she still think she’s in a loving marriage. You feel an attraction to E that comes from other lifetimes where you were together. The Council says they see in your current lifetime you’re not choosing to come together with E as a romantic partner. You intend to have a supportive friendship for a short time as if you appeared to each other in case either one of you were in need or there are things you’re trying to work out where you need another ear.
The Council advises Stella to focus on her marriage. She is capable of having a good marriage and still having memories of another time where you knew E more intimately. Stella can meditate and ask for information about these previous lives with E and it will come. You may be together with E in a another lifetime. You work well together. But your focus should now be on your marriage. Find the happiness there and support it and you can have the best of both worlds where you are happily married and you have a wonderfully supportive friendship.
The Council says Stella, her husband, and E were all siblings in another lifetime in the early 1700s. There’s an energy that holds the three of you together from this other lifetime. All of you agreed to come together in your current lifetime so you could work together and The Council doesn’t see any reason for Stella to hide her friendship with E from her husband. As you move forward with this you can see the three of you merge together in your thinking and it should be very nice.
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Why Did My Husband Cheat on Me with Another Woman?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Heartbroken, who says recently her marriage was falling apart because my husband was involved with another woman. I tried to understand why he got involved and what I might have done to cause the affair. The Council asks if Heartbroken has communicated with her husband about this and they say communication is the beginning of understanding. Rather than guessing why your husband had this affair or ignoring it, communicate with your husband and find out what went on for each of you.
Heartbroken asks The Council what her husband was trying to learn or experience from this affair. The Council says they don’t take the personal lessons of another person and explain them to someone else. The Council feels your husband’s lessons should come from him revealing this information to you. What The Council can tell Heartbroken is that both you and your husband chose this experience to learn commitment and what was more important in your current lifetime.
Heartbroken asks if her husband’s affair was pre-planned by the two of them in spirit. The Council says it was pre-planned something would happen to catapult both of you into this lesson of commitment, understanding, and communication to see how you learn from this. Heartbroken asks the purpose of this woman coming into their lives and The Council says commitment, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness.
Heartbroken asks The Council if she and her husband share any past lives with this woman that might have caused her to come between them. The Council says there’s no past life that’s caused this woman to come between her husband and herself. Her agreement was that when it was time for something to happen in the marriage, this spirit would volunteer to play that part. The Council adds that some other spirits also volunteered in case you were the one who cheated instead of your husband.
Heartbroken says her husband wants to save their marriage and not be with this other woman. And Heartbroken says she’s willing to forgive her husband even though it’s difficult. She asks The Council if there’s any possibility of this woman or any other woman coming back into her husband’s life.
The Council says if Heartbroken keeps focusing her attention on her husband being involved with one or more women and she stays in mistrust and doesn’t forgive him, she will create this situation in her life. Her husband can also bring in other women if the two of you talk about your difficulties, but you don’t hear what he’s saying and you don’t try to change your behavior so you become more attractive to each other.
Focus on forgiveness, love, and understanding. Think about the future and how you you’d like your life to play out moving forward. If you stay focused in your hurt and are unable to forgive your husband, you will attract more unpleasantness into you life. Or you can agree the affair was hurtful and neither of you wants to go through it again. How can the two of you make peace and look forward. What do you both desire? What little things can you do on a day to day basis to make each other happy?
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Heartbroken and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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What Lessons Can I Learn From My Deteriorating Marriage?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, Heartbroken, who says her marriage is in shambles because of an individual. She wants to separate from her husband, but he wants to be in the marriage. Heartbroken wants to know what lessons she’s supposed to learn from this experience because she doesn’t understand what to do.
The Council says they see a lifetime not to long ago in Germany that relates to Heartbroken’s current life. In that life Heartbroken was a female who didn’t have any compassion, commitment, or understanding of the people around her and she expected perfection from these people. There was no patience with other people. Heartbroken had many suitors in that life and if they didn’t meet all her standards she’d leave them heartbroken.
In your current life try to understand where the other person is coming from and what they’re experiencing. Have patience and commitment with other people. At the end of your life in Germany you were very lonely and you had a lot of regret for how you treated people. In your current life you want commitment to people so that you don’t experience the loneliness you experienced in Germany. You want family and love. In your current life you want to learn about understanding, emotions, and commitment.
If there’s another person in your life and you think it would be better to get out of your marriage and be with this new person, if the lesson of patience and understanding hasn’t been learned, you will find fault with this person and want to move on to a new person. And this scenario will continue in your life until you stay still and try to understand where the other person is coming from.
What makes your husband behave the way he does? Is he asking for forgiveness? Is there a true desire to come together? Instead of throwing your marriage away is it possible for you to understand your husband better and move forward?
You need to get to the lesson in your experience. Do you understand why your marriage is in shambles? Is there a point where forgiveness can be given to your husband and then move on if you feel this is necessary? The main thing here is to understand your husband because in your past life in Germany you never bothered to understand people.
What is your role in the marriage? Why is it in shambles? What is your responsibility for your actions? Understand why your husband did what he did. Look for compassion, understanding, and forgiveness and then move on from your marriage if this is what you want.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Heartbroken and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask your own question.
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Is it Time to Leave My Marriage?
This post answers a question for The Council from a reader named, Tanya, who says she’s married with a baby and she’s wondering whether it’s time to leave her marriage. Tanya says her husband lied to her, insulted her, then apologizes and says he’ll change. She’s been going back and forth about leaving him for over a year.
She tells herself she’ll leave, but first she’ll improve her vibration and then things get better for a while. She understands she’s co-creating her reality with her husband and then she comes back to her husband’s insults. She says sometimes I feel like I’m looking for a reason to stay in my marriage. And The Council says they also feel like Tanya’s looking for a reason to stay.
The Council says first change your vibration and how you see your situation. Try to understand what makes your partner say these insulting things. As soon as an insult begins, remind him this is the beginning of him insulting you. Is there another way you can communicate what you want with me without insulting me. Try and get your partner to look at his situation more optimistically. You need to understand this is his problem and comes partly from his insecurity.
Changing your vibration with meditation, thinking good thoughts, sending your partner love whether he’s abusive or not, and understanding he has a problem begins to change your vibration. As your vibration becomes higher and lighter your partner has the choice of changing with you. Or you then have the choice to leave the marriage if his behavior and his vibration doesn’t change. The Council encourages Tanya to work on her vibration and see what she can create. Begin to see your marriage the way you want it to be.
Let go of your husband’s insults that were already said. Don’t keep focusing on them and bringing them into your present reality because when you do you’re feeding that energy and you’ll create more insults.
And when your husband is nice to you and says nice things, compliment him and tell him you like what he just said. It made you feel good. Take the positive route.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Tanya and the rest of us, or ask your own question.
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Will I Find Meaningful Work in Addition to Motherhood?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Sara Jane, who says her life is in transition and she feels on the brink of something new. She says it’s exciting, but there’s also anxiety because she’s the mother of three young children and financially dependent on her husband. Lately she feels something beyond motherhood calling her, but she can’t figure out what it is. Sara Jane never felt she had a calling for a career outside of being a mother, which she says is a great job, but doesn’t pay anything.
The Council says being a mother prepared you for what you want to do with the rest of your life. One of the things you wanted to do was teach children. If you don’t want to go back to school and get a degree in teaching, you need to be around children in any capacity. You can show them much love and understanding. You wanted to reach out to children. And so it’s good you chose to become a mother first to understand children and go in this direction.
Even though your spirit was planning to teach children, from what The Council sees in your other life times recently, it would also be good for you to show adults around. Explain the environment to them. You can learn about history and be a guide in a museum or be a tour guide. Teach and show children or adults, giving them direction, understanding, and knowledge. In the future this could lead to taking people to different places on tours if this is something you want.
She asks if she’ll find meaningful work in addition to motherhood in this lifetime and The Council says, yes, if you begin to look and give yourself time to research different positions and what you need to acquire them.
Sara Jane asks if her main purpose in life was to be a mother, and The Council says it was part of her main purpose, but not all of it.
Sara Jane says part of the transition she’s facing likely includes leaving her marriage and she’s anxious to know if she’ll be self-sufficient and happy creating a life for herself and her children some day. The Council says they don’t see you leaving your marriage right away. When you go through more of your transition perhaps there will be a more positive change in your marriage so you won’t need to leave your husband.
The Council says if Sara Jane is open to learning more in all parts of her life, they feel her ideas about what she wants from herself and her husband will change. And they advise giving the marriage time.
Listen to the entire 6-minute audio recording of our session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Sara Jane and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own question.
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Should My Son and I Leave My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, SoulSeekingNirvana, who says she’s had issues with her husband in the past and they’ve remained together in spite of these issues. Currently he’s changed from his past behavior, but SoulSeekingNirvana can’t seem to forget when she needed him the most and his behavior was the worst at those times.
The Council says there’s a problem when SoulSeekingNirvana can’t forgive her husband and let go of these issues. And they ask how she can move on from that?
SoulSeekingNirvana says she’s been thinking about living independently with her son for some time now, but she’s worried about her son not having his father around. She sees two options. One is to continue living the way she does now and try to forget the past. The other is to live with her son separated from her husband.
The Council asks SoulSeekingNirvana if she can stay with her husband and not focus on how he wasn’t there for her. Can you focus on staying with your husband, making things more pleasant, and your son will have his father. Can you be loving and compassionate with your husband? Can you be caring for this man?
If you’re unable to do this, your son will always feel the disharmony between you and your husband. If you think you’re staying with your husband because of your son, and there’s fighting or negative feelings in your relationship, this isn’t a good solution and it’s time for you to move on. Your son will learn different lessons without a father.
As the creator of what goes on in your life, what do you want? Do you want to stay with your husband or do you want to be independent and live with your son without your husband? This is the question you need to ask yourself.
The Council says when you come into this reality and create challenges in your lives to grow from, it’s all about your ability to repeatedly experience forgiveness and show love. When you look at your husband, know he’s a spirit who’s come into this reality to learn lessons. Can you send love to your husband, one spirit to another, and help each other overcome the issues in your marriage? Can you have a nice relationship? If you’re going to continue being angry with your husband and go over and over how he wasn’t there for you, you’re not moving in the right direction.
SoulSeekingNirvana closed by asking if she decides to leave her husband, should she live alone or with her parents who can help with her son? The Council asks how the relationship is with her parents. Is it a safe, happy environment? If you don’t like your parents and your quarrel with them, you’re putting yourself and your son in a bad environment. If you need to be on your own, how do you see this? Can you create a loving relationship between you and your son?
The Council says coming into this reality with these choices, you’re looking for a way to get to a higher vibration. Not forgiving your husband doesn’t get you to this higher vibration. Forgiving, trying again if you can, and loving your husband, your son, or your parents will get you to this higher vibration.
Don’t ever blame your decision on whether to leave your husband on your son. This is your choice. You’re the one who has put yourself in the position to learn and grow more. Your son should be free from blame. He is a spirit who agreed to be part of your experience and help you grow. And we grow by showing love and compassion.
The Council closes by saying SoulSeekingNirvana’s husband has his own lessons to learn, but they believe he’ll make progress in the area of showing love, but the choice is his. Where he is on his path now, he’s headed in this direction.
Listen to the entire 7-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for SoulSeekingNirvana and the rest of us and let us know what you feel about it, or ask The Council your own unrelated question.
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Was I Right to Divorce My Husband?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Laurie, who asks if she was right to divorce her husband. Laurie read another post on our blog where The Council says you can create a long and happy married life if that’s what you wish to create. Laurie says this is what she wanted, but lost trust in her husband because of his financial manipulations. The Council asks Laurie how she can wish for a happy life when she states that she doesn’t trust her husband? When you are in the vibration of mistrust, you could never create a happy marriage.
In your marriage were you able to appreciate how your husband was towards you? Were there things you loved about this marriage and thought about over and over? Or did it get to a point where you didn’t trust your husband, didn’t like his behavior, and felt he had the power to make you feel good or bad about yourself?
When you go down a negative road and you have thoughts like: he drove me crazy, he lied, maybe he cheated on you, and maybe he hid financial aspects of your lives – if you felt these things throughout the marriage and there’s no room to appreciate any part of your married life, you can never have a happy marriage.
If you were miserable in this marriage and felt there was dishonesty, how would you change the marriage to be the way you wanted it to be? If you were able to look at your husband and say: A, B, C was done, I see where he was coming from, I can see why he did these things, and I realize he has his lessons – can we talk about that? Can we try to understand and change these behaviors? If there was a possibility you could do this and let go of what was already done, there could have been a change in your marriage. But if you feel the hurt was so horrible and that’s all you felt, you wouldn’t be able to change your relationship.
Laurie writes that she lost trust in her husband because of his financial manipulation, his telling their university-aged children she was crazy, sharing details of their intimate relations with other people, as well as other unspecified reasons. Her husband didn’t want to go to counseling and accused her of overreacting. She told him she deserved to be treated better and ended the marriage. The Council asks Laurie if you believe you deserve a better marriage and there was so much dishonesty, why do you still question if you did the right thing by divorcing your husband?
Laurie asks The Council if they feel under the circumstances she’s described if her marriage could have been saved? The Council says if Laurie was open to a different way of perceiving this marriage, if you knew what you wanted and what boundaries could change, if you’re able to come from a place of forgiveness and love, you’d bring the vibration of change into your surroundings. This would be felt by your husband as a spiritual being and then the spirits within both of you would know whether you’re able to change the marriage based on what you both planned to experience when you were in spirit before coming into this lifetime. But The Council adds they feel where Laurie was when she was still in the marriage and where she is now, it wouldn’t have been possible change her marriage into a happy one.
The Council says now it’s wise to go back and see what Laurie has learned in this marriage. Take your focus off being hurt and off the memories of everything that happened in the marriage that was unpleasant and begin to think about what you’d like to experience in a new relationship. What would you like to experience moving forward? What would you like your lessons to be now? What would you like your communication to be like in a new relationship? By letting go of the hurt and concentrating on what you’d like moving forward, this will change your vibration so that the kind of new person you bring in will match that vibration.
Be kind to other people, help other people, send love to other people, and that’s the kind of person you’ll bring into your life. The universe will not judge you. It will send into your life people that speak like you, that think like you, that have traits like you, and together you’ll learn how to grow.
Everyone has lessons with each other. Will you be open to helping the kind of person that comes into your life and helping them grow and experience what they need? Would you be vulnerable to ask for what you need without thinking about being hurt and whatever you experienced in the past?
Watch your words. Watch your thoughts. Watch your actions. And however you can, get yourself into the vibration of love. You can do this by memories, by thinking about the way you’d like your future to be, by appreciating what you have around you now. Anything that will get you into a positive vibration will help you move forward.
Listen to the entire 9-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Laurie and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it, or ask an unrelated question.
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Did I Marry the Right Man?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Curious, who asks if she married the right man and if they pre-planned their marriage. She’s asking because when they got married they went through some difficult times even though things seem to be working out fine now. She sometimes thinks that something will pop in out of nowhere and they’ll be going through those bad times again.
The Council says of course Curious married the right man and they pre-planned this in spirit. The Council asks if Curious is able to appreciate that things are working out now and focus on these happier times rather than worrying about what happened earlier? Nothing will pop in out of nowhere and create bad times. What creates bad times is your thoughts.
The lesson is being in the present and know that if something comes into your life, you now know you can both work through it. And this is a clue where you want to go in this lifetime. Everything isn’t always happy. Life happens, but you’ll be able to work through whatever happens.
The Council suggests Curious avoid thinking something bad can happen again. Concentrate on the fact that she and her husband have changed the bad times they experienced. You’re in happy times now, and no matter what comes along, you’ll be able to work through it again.
The Council sees this should be a good marriage for everyone involved – a marriage with some easy lessons. As you learn to appreciate each other and stay in the vibration of joy and love, you’ll move through whatever problem you need to create and work through it. You both created this life, you both planned for this life, but you planned for it to be easy.
Curious asks if The Council sees her and her husband having a long happy married life and are they meant to have any more children. The Council says you can create a long and happily married life if that’s what you wish to create. And they do see another child for Curious and her husband.
The Council congratulates Curious and reminds her to be in the present and appreciate what she and her husband have already worked through. They are two spirits that have come together to learn together and enjoy together. Stop thinking something will pop in unless you wish some happiness to pop in.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Curious and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
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Why Have My Boss and I Come Together in This Lifetime?
This post answers questions for The Council by a reader who goes by the name, Anon, who says she’s faithfully married with children and recently began a new job. Her boss took her breath away when she met him. There was instant recognition and desire, and both are committed to their spouses. Anon asks why they’ve come together in this lifetime when they are both unable or unwilling to be together romantically?
What The Council sees here is a spiritual agreement between these two souls who have a strong bond from working together in many lifetimes as husband and wife and as siblings. The agreement was to go separate ways in this life so they could have experiences they wished to live through and learn from, and at a certain point perhaps these two souls could come together again if they both created the idea of drawing each other into their lives.
The desire to be together was there for both of you, but life got in the way and you both met other people. You went down a different path than the one you originally envisioned. And yet because the energy between you and your boss is so strong, you still managed to come into each other’s lives even though you have both have different partners. There’s a comfort that’s felt from the two of you being together.
In this life can the two of you be supportive friends to each other? Can you feel the happiness of being able to come together in this lifetime in different roles and help each other grow and learn? Can you experience a different kind of relationship than you’ve had in other lifetimes? You both have the ability to create this relationship the way you want it.
In spirit the two of you originally planned for the possibility of becoming partners again after going in your different directions, but each of you went down a different path where you wouldn’t be marriage partners, but you can have a strong friendship.
Listen to the 5-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anon and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel about it.
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Recommendations for Improving a Difficult Life After Divorce
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Laurie, who left a 25 year marriage a couple of years ago to a man she believes is a narcissistic sociopath. She investigated her ex-husband’s finances in preparation for the divorce, but the mediator wouldn’t hear details. She broke down and settled on the divorce terms and later realized it was at a large financial cost to her. The Council asks Laurie, when she realized the divorce wasn’t fair to her, was she able to let go of this because she’d made the decision? Or did you feel anger and loss, and that you were taken advantage of, and now feel the divorce was wrong?
The Council points out that the decision you made was to accept the divorce settlement, and it’s very difficult for some people to see where their decisions bring about what’s happening. Do you want to put yourself in a place of fear and anger and fight the settlement you accepted. Or has this taught you a valuable lesson and now you wish to move forward in peace and begin to create the life you wish to have?
Laurie says she feels lost, financially scared, and despite all the horrible things her ex-husband has done to her, she misses him because she’s afraid of living alone, unloved, and unable to do things that may have been possible in the marriage. The Council says because of finances and the fear of being on your own are you willing to put yourself back in a situation that was unbearable? The Council asks Laurie to question herself about this decision. Why would you put yourself in a situation where you’d have to go through the difficulty again, and it would be the same. What’s the reason for going back to this man? Is it worth hanging onto this relationship that will prevent you from moving forward and creating a new life because you’re in the middle of this traumatizing experience?
You and your ex-husband have both agreed in spirit to create your marriage. What have you learned? If one person is beating up the other person, why would you consider going back to that? Isn’t there an easier way to learn? Or have you forgotten you came into this lifetime to bring love into your life? That’s the bottom line why you’re here.
The Council says Laurie isn’t alone. There’s always spirits around you that are willing to help you if you give them a chance. If you have the littlest bit of faith, signs will come to you through dreams, through readings, and through talking with people. Opportunities will open up for you when you simply say I want to experience love. I want to experience a life where I’m happy and feel safe. Put this out there on a daily basis. Visualize the kind of life you’d like to have and create this with your thoughts. You’ll begin to build what you desire so that it shows up in your reality.
Laurie says she’s 57 years old and believes stress is taking a toll on her previously healthy body. She’s confused why she’s suffered from her divorce rather than having gotten to a better place. The Council says the marriage was an experience she wished to have and then move forward. Do you sit and think over and over all the uncomfortable things you went through? Or do you say to yourself it’s a new beginning. I’ll begin to create from a place of love.
Many people who go through a divorce are very sad and they get stuck in that sadness and don’t move forward. The Council says they can see that happening in Laurie’s case. They say not only are you not moving forward, but you’re thinking about going backward.
Find joy in things you like to do. Appreciate you’re not in an uncomfortable relationship with a partner like your ex-husband. When your thoughts change the situation must change and your body must change. You’re a spirit in a human body and you’ve created your life every step of the way. Can you wish your ex-husband happiness in the lessons he needs to learn? What were the signs your relationship was detrimental to you? What do you see that you’d handle differently? How would you bring more joy into a relationship?
You’re at a place where you can begin to move forward and change everything. There’s no need to go back. There are many new friends available to you. There are some old friends from other lifetimes that will come into your life. No matter what you’ve gone through, no matter how horrible you think it may have been, you agreed in spirit to experience it and you’ve come through it. Now ask yourself where can you go from here? What do you want?
Laurie says she’s been given the lesson that life isn’t fair, but still wants to believe light triumphs over dark. The Council says of course life is fair. It’s exactly what you wanted to experience. It may not look like wonderful experiences, but it’s what you called in to your life.
The Council recommends Laurie read books about changing her life, like Emmanuel’s Book, by Pat Rodegast and books from Abraham, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Fill your mind with the words of spirit. And try the exercises that are explained in the Abraham books.
Laurie says she still thinks about going back to her ex-husband despite all the horrible things he’s done to her. She’s empathetic to the hurt little boy inside him rather than focusing on the horrible things he’s done. The Council says it’s wonderful you can feel for the little boy inside him. The Council says that’s a plus, not a minus. Perhaps you can send that little boy some love with your thoughts. Perhaps you can send beautiful pink energy to the adult to help him move forward with their lessons.
By not blaming your ex-husband and understanding he also had lessons he wanted to learn from your marriage, and that you both agreed in spirit to everything that happened in your relationship, the love within you expands and you will grow. Whether you wish yourself love or you wish other people love, just thinking about love changes your vibration.
The Council advises Laurie to do simple steps first. Be grateful. Send love. Be interested in what other people say when they come along to help you. Give other people compliments and be kind. You’ll see yourself beginning to feel better.
Listen to the 15-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Laurie and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
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Questions About an Abusive Separated Husband
This post answers questions from a reader named, Jolanda, who says 18 months ago she ended an 8 year relationship with her verbally and emotionally abusive husband, but because they have a child together they communicate almost daily, which gives him opportunities to manipulate her emotions.
The Council doesn’t think it’s necessary to have contact with your husband almost daily. It’s something you need, but your husband doesn’t. Is this because you don’t want to let go of your husband? If this relationship is hurtful, why would you want to stay in it? You can co-parent a child without having daily communication with your spouse.
One of the lessons you’ve created for yourself in this lifetime is protecting yourself and learning how to make boundaries. The Council says they don’t see this boundary-making happening. There’s no need to punish yourself. If you can begin setting these boundaries you’ll feel a little more powerful and you’ll allow the relief and healing to come into your life.
The Council says they don’t see a reconciliation with the husband occurring at this time. Recognize him as a spirit on his own path and learning his own lessons. You feel the love for him because you recognize him as a spirit. Wherever he is on his path, you can love him and let him go, and make the boundary to protect yourself, and change your life to a more powerful and peaceful one.
Jolanda says she and her husband agreed a few weeks ago they weren’t getting back together and she feels betrayed that he’s apparently moved on with a new girlfriend. The Council asks Jolanda to find the energy to understand this agreement between the two of them. And if he changes his mind and says he wants to be with her again, can she make the boundary and say, “No. Enough. I can’t be in this type of relationship.” Instead of waiting to see where your husband is in this relationship, make your own boundaries. Think about how you’ll move forward and how you can get free from this relationship and find the happiness you wish for?
Jolanda says she’s pining for the love she had with her husband and wishing for someone else to love, but feels like she’ll never love anyone but her husband. The Council says the love she and her husband had isn’t there right now because there are lessons Jolanda needs to learn. Wishing for someone else to love is a wonderful direction to go in. Focus on this. What kind of person do you want in your life, down to every detail you can think of? And be ready to let this relationship in? When you can focus more on the new person you want in your life, things will change in this direction.
Jolanda says she feels her marriage was a divine bond and that she and her husband are deeply connected at a soul level. The Council says of course there’s a soul connection. This relationship was all agreed to in spirit so you could discover the role of independence, the role of boundaries in your life, the role of speaking up for yourself, and the role of learning how to protect yourself.
The Council closes by telling Jolanda: When you begin to love yourself enough to protect yourself; when your begin to believe there’s another way, and there’s more for you, and the soul who is your husband needs to go on with his lessons; when you begin to focus in a whole new direction on what you truly want in your life; The Council promises Jolanda her life will begin to change for the better.
Listen to the entire audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Jolanda and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
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Is My Boyfriend Interested In Marrying Me?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, Curious, who says she’s been with her significant other for about 12 years. Curious has been married twice before and her partner has never been married. In the early years of their relationship she didn’t want to get married again because of her experience in her two earlier marriages.
At this point The Council emphasizes that Curious has made clear by her actions and her words that she doesn’t want to get married, and her partner has taken this point in.
Curious goes on to say that about 3 years ago her feelings about marriage changed and she told her partner in what she considered a no pressure way that even though she wasn’t interested in marriage before, she was interested now.
The Council says because Curious changed her mind about getting married and she let her partner know, she expected her partner to accept this new idea before he was ready. The Council says what Curious is hopefully learning from this experience is to allow her partner (and everyone else) to be who they are. The Council adds that while it’s wonderful that Curious is aware of this change in her thinking and is able to express her desires to her partner, part of her lesson is to allow her boyfriend to have a different opinion at this time and accept that maybe he doesn’t want to move forward as fast as she does.
The Council says there’s nothing in the way of an eventual marriage, and asks what Curious has done in her visualizations to create this change she seeks? Is she working on seeing the marriage happening? Is Curious putting happy feelings into the thought that the marriage will occur at some point, rather than focusing on why her partner hasn’t changed his mind yet? The inner work to create this marriage is very important.
The Council feels Curious’s partner is comfortable with the relationship the way it is and he’s not ready to change the relationship at this time. Both souls have agreed in spirit to create this situation. For both of you this is a lesson in patience, understanding, and allowing. When these lessons have all been learned, there will be movement towards the marriage Curious desires.
Is Curious enjoying being with her partner, or is she stuck thinking when will this marriage happen? Enjoy every part of the relationship like you did before you told your partner you wanted to get married. The more Curious is able to find things to be grateful for in the relationship and do the inner work of thinking how she wants the relationship to evolve, the easier it will be to create the marriage she desires.
Curious says a month ago someone introduced her partner as her husband and he commented, “No, just boyfriend,” and laughed. This hurt Curious’s feelings, but she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to pressure her partner. The Council says Curious’s partner is speaking the truth and they ask why this hurts her feelings? They suggest it’s because the marriage isn’t happening at the exact time she wishes it to happen.
Curious asks if she and her partner are meant to take their relationship to the next level, and The Council says, “In time.” She asks if her partner is interested in marriage and The Council says, “Cautiously, yes.” If Curious falls into feelings of impatience and has negative feelings about the relationship, this can change the path of the relationship into something that causes problems she has to learn from before she can move forward.
The Council’s parting thoughts are for Curious to bring more love into the relationship with her partner and create happy experiences along the way. And they emphasize again the importance of her doing the inner work necessary to create this marriage.
Listen to the entire 8-minute session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Curious and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about this.
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Helping a Friend Find a Suitable Marriage Partner
This post answers a question for The Council from a reader who goes by the name, LearningSoulSite (LSS), who wants to know how she can help her friend find a suitable marriage partner. LSS says her friend had a bad experience with a man she deeply loved and it’s difficult for her to like someone.
The Council asks LSS what her friend learned in the experience she had with the man she loved that is keeping her from finding love again. Love is all around if your friend believes she can feel it and have it again.
The Council says LSS’s friend needs to change the way she’s thinking. It doesn’t help her to focus on trying to find love and can’t. And it doesn’t help her to focus on trying to find love, but her last relationship hurt her so much that she can’t.
What was in this last relationship that was wonderful? Her friend needs to believe this relationship wasn’t the permanent relationship she was looking for, but there will be others. She needs to focus on what she enjoyed about this relationship and ask herself if she’d like that in a new relationship. Perhaps her friend is interested in experiencing more love and understanding than she experienced in her previous relationship.
Your friend needs to get to a place where she can eagerly expect a new relationship. It is there and she can find it, but she has to be in the vibration of feeling grateful, and hopeful, and loving. She can’t create from the feeling of pain of being hurt in a past relationship. She can’t create from the feeling of being lost or feeling depressed. She can’t create joy and the future she wants to experience from these undesired vibrations.
She should be hopeful about a new relationship coming into her life. This is an adventure. As she can learn to enjoy the looking for this relationship, she’ll find what she’s looking for.
LSS says her friend has thyroid issues that are getting serious and this may be caused by ongoing stress with her parents. The Council says it’s important to speak more about what she believes and what she wants. She should give voice to her opinion instead of holding things in.
And The Council sees that Chiropractic adjustments at the spinal level of C7 will help her friend’s thyroid.
Listen to the entire 4-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for LearningSoulSite and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about this.
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What is My Wife’s and My Purpose in This Lifetime?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader named, Anthony, who says at the beginning of his relationship with his wife they experienced some traumatic events where his wife felt she had no control of the situation and she didn’t receive any support from him. These traumatic events occurred several years ago and Anthony’s wife is still suffering. He’s tried everything to help her and nothing has worked. She blames herself constantly and blames him. She’s not able to let go and forgive. Anthony wants to know if he and his wife have shared a traumatic past life together?
The Council begins by saying the loss of control is what Anthony and his wife experienced in another lifetime where Anthony was blind and mute. In this lifetime Anthony’s wife took care of him. It took lots of patience, was very strenuous for her, and it was difficult for her to understand she was making Anthony’s life better.
At the end of that lifetime they both decided they’d create another lifetime (their current lifetime) where Anthony would have the patience and show love and caring for the challenges his wife created for herself. Because of the love they have for each other, Anthony now wanted to be for his wife. He wanted to feel what it’s like so he can learn that side of reality.
The Council asks Anthony to try and focus on the good he’s done for himself and for his wife. The more aware he is of trying to be there for her, be a comfort to her, show her love, and help her through these challenges, this vibration of love exists between them. Eventually the more Anthony is able to focus on this love, even when his wife is blaming him, instead of blaming himself he should know his purpose is to help her through these challenges and to show his wife love.
Anthony and his wife have had many lifetimes where they take turns helping each other, and because they both enjoy this, and learn from it and grow from it, they created their current lifetime to continue this process of going through challenges.
Anthony asks the purpose of his and his wife’s life in their current lifetime? The Council says to be helpful to each other and show the people around them how they care for each other and have patience with each other, so their patience and love can grow within these people. Anthony and his wife have a challenge to work through with each other, and there’s the challenge of the people around them to observe this and learn from it.
Anthony says he feels like the challenge with his wife has something to do with his daughter, and The Council says this particular lesson doesn’t have to do with her, but he’s been with his daughter in other lifetimes. It’s his daughter’s wish in this lifetime to learn about counseling, and so what she sees between Anthony and his wife may help her go into this field. She has a wish to learn about people who are suffering, going through depression, and are suicidal, and also be helpful to these people.
Currently The Council feels Anthony’s daughter may pull away from him because she doesn’t have the understanding yet to be helpful to others in need. Anthony can bring this focus to his daughter by being understanding and having her see how he responds to his wife. Anthony should try not to get angry at sickness, but he can show great confidence in himself by knowing he’s doing the right thing by bringing love into this situation in any way he can.
The Council closes by reminding Anthony that his marriage is an agreement to experience the other side of the coin from the lifetime where he was blind and mute. The Council also says it would be good to play music for his wife every day or every other day. The body’s cells and the soul will respond to the calmness of the music. And to bring humor into the situation with his wife when he’s able. Then he’ll be able to see this situation change. The Council definitely sees a healing of the situation with Anthony’s wife can happen.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Anthony and the rest of us, and let us know what you feel about it.
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Should I Stay In My Marriage or Leave with My Child?
This post answers questions for The Council from a reader who goes by the name SoulPeace, who says she needs to choose between staying in a marriage that isn’t working out well and trying to make it better, or walk out of the marriage with their child.
The Council asks SoulPeace what part they’re playing in this marriage? Is she adding to the difficulties that are coming up? When you step back and look at this relationship the major question is, why isn’t the marriage working? What do you need from this marriage and what are you bringing to it? Do you feel the love you felt in the beginning of this relationship?
The choice is always yours whether to leave the marriage or stay with it, but the work must begin within you first. Look at what you have without blame, then try to decide what you’d like your marriage to look like. If you can focus on the marriage working and be open to the positive changes, then you can make this marriage work. As you begin to change how you treat your husband, how you speak to him, and how you appreciate the little things he might do, The Council says you can stay in this marriage lovingly.
SoulPeace says she’s always been scared of living on her own and taking on all the responsibilities of caring for their child. She doesn’t feel the love for her husband the last few years. The Council asks if she’s able to partner with him in bringing up their child? Are they able to get together and have fun with this child so it has a more loving life? When you’re able to come together and take the focus off what the other person is doing wrong and you’re in the vibration of love and joy even though the focus is your child, you have the ability to make the marriage better.
SoulPeace says she feels like she’s with her husband because it’s the more traditional option and she’s scared to live on her own. She finds it difficult to forget the things that happened in the past. The Council reminds SoulPeace that it’s a choice to take the focus off the past. When do you let go of this? When do you begin looking forward instead of backward? Have you learned from the mistakes you’ve made? What have you done to prevent these mistakes from continuing? If you decide to stay in this marriage, but continue with blaming your husband and stay in the vibration of anger and hurt, you won’t be able to change your future so you have a happy life.
If you decide you want to save your marriage, try thinking the reason you’ve gone through the dissatisfaction in your marriage is that you and your husband agreed to come to this point and then ask yourself if you can turn your marriage around. If you decide to leave, what are the steps you’d take to support your child and live on your own just the two of you? See this how you want it to be rather than out of fear. Visualize how leaving could work for you.
SoulPeace says she feels like she’s coming back to the same point in the relationship over and over. She’d like closure to this and to move ahead in any direction which is best for her and her child. The Council asks SoulPeace if she’s truly looking for closure or does she want to fix the marriage?
To start closure The Council suggests SoulPeace imagine where she and her child would go and how you’d live. If you want to change your marriage for the better The Council suggests letting go of the past. Maybe your husband doesn’t know how to undo what was done or fix the marriage, but perhaps you can discuss moving forward. Can you leave the past in the past?
Discuss how you’d like your marriage to be. What does your husband want the marriage to be like going forward? When memories come of what your husband did or didn’t do in your marriage that hurt you, acknowledge the hurt and then say goodbye to those thoughts. After a while those thoughts won’t come as frequently. Yes these things happened, but now you have an opportunity to create the future differently. You have the power to refocus on a happier thought and create the life you desire.
The Council closes by saying SoulPeace has a lot of work to do and a wonderful journey in whichever direction she chooses.
Listen to the entire 10-minute audio recording of our session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for SoulPeace and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel about it.
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Having More Loving Thoughts About Her Husband
This post is inspired by questions from a reader named, Vacha, who’s asked questions about her relationship with her husband before. She and her young son have moved back to be with her husband (and her son’s father) after a separation due to Vacha feeling abused in their relationship. She says everything is going well so far, but she isn’t feeling happy deep inside and suggests she may be finding it difficult to forget her husband’s past behavior.
The Council asks Vacha if her purpose for moving back with her husband was to be open to trying her marriage again? They say if she focuses on what happened in the past, she’ll never move forward. They ask what Vacha can do to make their relationship better? What would she like to see her husband doing, and talk to him about these things.
Vacha says she’s going to begin meditating on what to do and she asks for guidance to have more loving thoughts and be in a more positive state of mind. The Council says to have more loving thoughts, think about what brought her and her husband together in the beginning of the relationship. When she looks at her husband now, look at him with the understanding that he’s also a spirit in a physical body going through his own lessons. Is he trying to make the relationship work?
The Council says the purpose of this challenge in their relationship is for her to bring love into the situation, change it with her thoughts, and turn the situation around. See her situation the way she desires it to be. Stop focusing on being unhappy. Find the happiness from the memories she has and try to bring this happiness into her life every day.
Listen to our entire 6-minute session with The Council (below) to hear all their guidance for Vacha and the rest of us, and let us know how you feel about it.
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Help with Her Daughter’s Marriage
This post is inspired by a woman named, Marie, who asks The Council for help with her daughter’s unhappy marriage. The Council says how Marie looks at her daughter’s marriage will create what she sees. If Marie thinks her daughter is in a horrible marriage, this is what she’s creating. The Council asks Marie if she’s able to find some moments where her daughter and daughter’s husband are getting along and to focus on that instead of focusing on them not getting along.
Marie asks if it’s wise to encourage her daughter to leave her husband. And The Council says, not at all. Marie doesn’t consciously know what her daughter’s spirit and her daughter’s husband’s spirit agreed on and what they’re trying to heal in this lifetime. The Council recommends letting the marriage unfold. They point out that love allows everything and by allowing them to work on their marriage without interfering, Marie is loving her daughter.
The Council recommends that with Marie’s thoughts and prayers she picture her daughter and her husband doing what they need to do, whether it was to come together and have the courage to leave each other, or to come together and see things differently and get along better moving forward.
The Council says Marie’s daughter is trying to come together with her husband and find a path where they can understand each other. They’re trying to turn toward the experience of love. They’ve had several other lives together and they enjoy having these lives and helping each other grow and learn.
The Council says it’s possible her daughter and her daughter’s husband get along better than Marie perceives, and The Council asks Marie to change how she looks at the marriage. They say to almost strain herself to find something good in this marriage and as she does this more of this goodness will be created.
The Council recommends that Marie talk to her daughter about nice times her daughter and daughter’s husband shared together. This will help her daughter remember these nicer times. Marie should try to bring some light into the marriage as she talks about it with her daughter. Look for the good in this marriage and talk about it with her daughter, and it will help her daughter on her path.
Listen to our entire 6-minute session with The Council to hear all their guidance for Marie and the rest of us, and let us know what you think.
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Welcome
Bob & Cynthia
Welcome to Ask The Council, a blog where you can ask a group of loving and wise spirit guides a question and get an answer, for free. You can also contact us for a paid private phone session with The Council, and you can read the questions other readers have asked and the answers they’ve received. Other posts contain quotations from The Council that we hope you find inspiring, uplifting, and educational.
Ask The Council a Question
If there’s a question you’ve been thinking about and you’re curious how The Council might answer it, we encourage you to either use the blog’s Comments feature to ask your question, or contact us for a private phone session. You can click here to go to the ‘Let us know what you think about this post, or ask The Council a question’ section of this Welcome post and type your question there or you can type your question in the same section at the bottom of any post that inspires you to ask a question or leave a comment.
Since the blog is currently a project we do in our spare time it can take a while for us to do a session with The Council on a question and then publish a post on the session. Depending on the question and the session it can sometimes take weeks after a question is asked to publish a post with The Council’s answer. Please be patient.
The Council
Cynthia is able to communicate with a group of five non-physical spirit guides in a manner similar to the way Esther Hicks communicates with and speaks for the spirit guides, Abraham, and Jane Roberts communicated and spoke for the spirit guide, Seth. I (Bob) basically interview The Council as they speak through Cynthia during what we refer to as a session. Sessions generally last 5-15 minutes and are usually audio recorded. During the session Cynthia is aware of what The Council is saying and she also receives visual impressions and other types of telepathic communication from them.
The Council’s Basic Guidance
Since we began these sessions with The Council around 2009 they consistently emphasize a few basic ideas that we attempt to summarize here:
1) You are an eternal spiritual being in a physical body.
You are the energy and vibration of continuously expanding love, intelligence, and joy.
Your physical experience in your physical body and your psychological experience of your personality is a small part of the totality of who you truly are.
Let yourself imagine from time to time what it might feel like to experience more of the wondrous totality of who you really are, and don’t be surprised if you are able to experience this more often.
2) You are the creator of all that you experience.
As you open to the possibility your true nature is greater than you ordinarily perceive, it becomes easier to consider the possibility that this expanded you is truly the creator of everything that you experience.
If you’re used to thinking of yourself in a more limited sense, the idea that you are the creator of your experience may be difficult to understand. Our post, What About This Idea That We Create Whatever We Desire, offers insights into this idea.
3) You are here to expand the love you are into physical reality.
You chose, as a spiritual being, to come into this physical reality to experience the joy of expanding the love you are as a spiritual being, into this physical reality. This is your purpose for being here.
Finding Your Way Around the Blog
Home Page
The left-hand column on the Home page contain a long chronological series of posts with the most recent on top. Each post begins with a title. Clicking on a post title will take you to a blog page dedicated to that particular post. Following each post is a Like button where you can indicate to us and other readers if you like the post.
The footer section of each post identifies the date the post was published, the Categories the post has been assigned to, the keyword/keyphrase Tags assigned to the post, and a Comment link. If readers comments on a post, the Comments link will indicate the number of comments. If a post has no comments yet, the Comment link text appears as “Leave a Comment”.
Clicking on the Comments link takes you to a Comment text box on a post page dedicated to that post. Here you can type a comment in the text box and click the Post Comment button to have your comment displayed just below the text box. If you are replying to someone else’s comment, your comment will appear indented underneath the comment you are replying to.
At the bottom of the left column on the Home page is a ‘Previous Entries’ link that will take you to a page with a list of earlier posts.
Blog Features
The right-hand column of most blog pages contains this Welcome message. Below the Welcome message in the right-hand column are some useful features:
Email Subscription: Use this to subscribe to blog posts. You will receive an email notification with a link back to the blog each time a new post is published.
Search: Type a keyword or phrase and click the Search button to get a list of posts in the left column that contain the keyword or phrase.
Archives: The Archives list indicates the number of posts for each month listed. Clicking on the link for a month will display in the left column of the page a list of the posts published that month.
Categories: This is a list of keywords used to categorize posts. Posts can be included in more than one category, if applicable. Clicking on a category link will display in the left column a list of posts assigned to the category you selected.
Navigation Bar
The Navigation Bar at the top of each page contains a link to the blog Home page and links to the following additional pages:
Welcome: A link that displays this Welcome message in the left column (and the right column). At the bottom of the Welcome message is a Comment box where you can post a general comment about the blog or ask The Council a question.
Questions & Answers: Use this link to display a list of introductions to our longer posts, most of which are responses to reader questions. This is an easy way to check out these more in-depth posts. They are listed in chronological order with the most recent post on top. Clicking on the post title will take you to the page where you can read the complete post.
Contact Us: The Contact Us page contains a contact form similar to the Comment form mentioned above. The difference between the Contact Us form and the Comment forms is that the Contact Us form is a private message to us (Cynthia and Bob). It is not posted on the blog. Comments appear on the post page where the comment is posted. The Contact Us form can be used for communicating with us about private sessions or other private matters you think aren’t appropriate for posting in a public Comment.
Bob & Cynthia
Ask The Council 